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Bereavement

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Ds1 15 killed himself.

235 replies

Makinglists · 15/07/2021 10:06

Ds1 who was 15 killed himself. He spent a week in hospital but the damage was too great and he died on 11 July.
We are still near the hospital sorting things out (he was in a childrens unit away from home). The feelings are overwhelming, I can't think of returning to the house where I found him. We have another child who is 10 and he is with friends.
There were no signs he would so this - he was stressed about Gcses and recently lost his grandfather but he seemed to be handling it. His emotions seemed normal for a 15 year old.
Awful though it is I wondered if there are others this has happened to and can share their story so we feel less alone.
We are broken.

OP posts:
AngusThermopyle · 15/07/2021 21:17

So, so sorry to hear your sad news. You have my deepest sympathy. Thanks

IHateCoronavirus · 15/07/2021 21:19

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have lost a child, but I cannot begin to imagine the pain you must be in. I am sending you wishes of strength and peace in your heart. Flowers

Sirzy · 15/07/2021 21:23

I can’t offer anything other than sending lots of love and support to you and your family.

elevenses75 · 15/07/2021 21:25

I am so so sorry for your loss op, how incredibly heartbreaking. I am a mum of 4 boys and reading your post has made me feel very worried for my own boys. They just bottle things up. I can’t begin to imagine how you are feeling. But I hope you are all being well taken care of and supported. It’s something no parent wants to ever experience. My thoughts are with you

TheEmperorIsNaked · 15/07/2021 21:30

I’m so very sorry Making Flowers You and DS are in my thoughts.

Sending you love x

pennysays · 15/07/2021 21:43

We lost the 21 year son of a friend last year. Things weren’t right - he had isolated himself for a while - but this was a huge shock. We’ve been with them through their grief but there is no escaping how horrendously dark it has been.

A year on, his mother functions, finds distractions, cocoons herself in her other children but a part of her has died too and will not come back.

Therapy and support groups will be good but you don’t have to go now it might be too soon and that’s ok.

There is nothing to do OP, it is so awful and will be for ages yet. The only thing to work on is to learn to sit with your grief. It’s going to be a permanent companion.

Anon13l · 15/07/2021 21:44

How do i make a new thread?

EspressoDoubleShot · 15/07/2021 22:02

Hi
You go to bereavement as a topic, start new thread

Ds1 15 killed himself.
BarryTheChopper · 15/07/2021 22:08

I’m so very sorry OP. I wish I were able to offer some comfort and wisdom, but you’re in my thoughts.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 15/07/2021 22:09

So very sorry for your loss @makinglists I have no other words but couldn't scroll past.

EwwSprouts · 15/07/2021 22:10

My heartfelt sympathy. It has been a very tough year on teens.
Organ donation must have been a difficult conversation but what a wonderful gift he has given. That is the final act to remember when it is less raw.

AelapAbsil · 15/07/2021 22:11

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

ineedaholidaynow · 15/07/2021 22:12

I'm so sorry Flowers

maddy68 · 15/07/2021 22:14

No words of any real comfort. But I am so so sorry. Xx

Workinghardeveryday · 15/07/2021 22:16

So very sorry for your loss really x thinking of you all xxx

spongedog · 15/07/2021 22:16

I am so sorry for your loss, x I have a teenage son and their life just seems so much more difficult than mine was however many decades ago. I support women and girls wholeheartedly but we are in danger of losing a lot of boys (and men) if society doesnt find a way to support them better. They somehow carry their pain more quietly, more internally, less outlets but would they use them. But please dont blame yourself looking for signs.

Cloverleaf20 · 15/07/2021 22:17

This is so very, very sad!! It just happened to a friend of my daughter ( similar age ) No warning sign to others either .
My thoughts are with you Flowers

MyGirlDaisy · 15/07/2021 22:18

I am so very sorry x

BoneIdleBitch · 15/07/2021 22:19

I am so sorry. Thinking of you. Flowers

OldTinHat · 15/07/2021 22:20

I've no idea what to say apart from I'm so, so sorry. What a terrible thing to happen to you all xx

Imcatmum · 15/07/2021 22:29

Im so sorry @Makinglists. Feeling suicidal can be very very internal and well hidden, especially in a teenager. It is not necessarily characterised by obvious low mood, crying, noticable desperation. He may well have not understood what his feelings were himself. He was unwell with an invisible illness. Its nobodys fault.

AnneElliott · 15/07/2021 22:29

I'm so sorry op. No mother should go through what you have.

Love to you and the the other posters who have suffered similar bereavements.

Moonface123 · 15/07/2021 22:41

This is a parents worst nightmare,. l am so sorry for your loss.
I hope you have much support and find others who can help you through this incredibly difficult time.

Lovebug06 · 15/07/2021 22:43

I'm so sorry for your loss ♥️

LookingGlassMilk · 15/07/2021 22:48

I'm so sorry