Ds1 15 killed himself.

[Makinglists]

Ds1 who was 15 killed himself. He spent a week in hospital but the damage was too great and he died on 11 July.
We are still near the hospital sorting things out (he was in a childrens unit away from home). The feelings are overwhelming, I can't think of returning to the house where I found him. We have another child who is 10 and he is with friends.
There were no signs he would so this - he was stressed about Gcses and recently lost his grandfather but he seemed to be handling it. His emotions seemed normal for a 15 year old.
Awful though it is I wondered if there are others this has happened to and can share their story so we feel less alone.
We are broken.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

So very sorry for your loss, my DS aged 15 has struggled this year too. Please do continue to post as there is always someone listening here

I’m so sorry @Makinglists

I'm so sorry for your loss💐

I'm so terribly sorry for your huge loss . While I can't offer anything except my sympathy I have gone through this with a friend who lost her daughter to suicide. Please please take all offers of help and above all be kind to yourself. ♥️

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and can only imagine the confusion of thoughts and feelings you’re going through.

It may have changed but The Compassionate Friends did put people in touch with other parents who had lost a child under similar circumstances. They also ran groups for the siblings.

My son attempted suicide at 15. We did know he was struggling and he’d asked for help and we had a CAMHS appointment coming up.
The night of the attempt DH, myself and DS watched some TV together and, being a comedy, we were all good. Or so we thought.
10 minutes after he’d gone to bed (kissed him goodnight, etc.) we heard a crash from upstairs. Legged it up there and managed to get him safe. He’d tried to hang himself from his bedroom window. The crash was him banging into the radiator and landing on the floor.
There was no ‘warning’ that night and he was as shocked by his actions as we were. We couldn’t believe how quickly he went from okay (and I do mean okay, not good) to suicidal and, for me, that was hard to get my head around initially. DH had more understanding as he’d experienced similar with his mental health struggles.

Give yourself space and you can always call Samaritans (116 123 free phone) if you want or need to offload, talk to someone who’s not connected or just have a cry.

I am so so very sorry

Prayed for you all today xxxxx

I am so sorry to hear this @Makinglists
My eldest deliberately took medication to try to end his life last Autumn aged 15. He survived that attempt so it's not the same as for you so I hope it's okay to post this - but I can only imagine if he had not.

You are in my thoughts xxx

I am so sorry to hear this, @Makinglists - my heart goes out to you all.

So sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My now 17 year old attempted suicide when he was 15 thankfully he came to me and I made him make himself sick but he didn't speak much about it. He seems a bit happier now he has a girlfriend

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss.

I am so sorry. My brother died by hanging aged 29, so older. We didn't see any signs and the shock is still felt ten years later. I am so sorry x

Oh God I'm so sorry, I hope you have lots of real life support around you. Sending you love

I'm so very sorry for your loss 😔 xx

So sorry for your loss op

Just seen this you poor love 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

So very sorry, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through xxx

So sorry for your loss!

I lost a friend when I was 16 and he was 15. We weren’t best best friends but I knew him well. It was the day after his girlfriend broke up with him.. I honestly think it was just an impulsive decision. He was usually so happy.

I’m only in my early 20s myself but I felt the same around that age. Something would happen and it would feel like the end of the world, I even attempted myself. I can’t even remember why now!

It’s likely that it was in the moment, not some long drawn out pain. You, however, will be in shock. Please make sure you have a good support system around you and make sure your 10 year old’s school looks after him. Remember you’re never alone and there’ll always be someone on mumsnet but make sure you get all the support you need/want

Thank you. It's just such a shock I still feel like I'm watching a movie from the outside. At times I feel composed and logical at others just total panic.

He has become an organ donor and that gives us a grain of comfort.

How do we stop kids doing this. Perhaps I'm getting it wrong but when I was his age 35 years ago, kids (often girls) took overdoses as a cry for help but that they were often saved.

Sorry just trying to make sense of this mess - no mum should have to see what I saw that night.

Sending you love and unmumsnetty hugs @Makinglists. I don't think you can make sense of it, please don't tie yourself up in knots trying to. The support groups are absolutely excellent, when you are ready, please contact them.

I'm so very, very sorry, OP. There are no words. No parent should have to go through this.

Another mother here wanting you to know you and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope in time you find peace .
I am so very sorry , your precious son x

So sorry for your loss. If you need to talk there is an excellent charity some close friends of mine are involved with called If U Care Share they are very very good at helping people bereaved through suicide.

So very sorry for your loss
Unimaginable.

How inspiring that your son has been able to donate his organs; I hope you will be able to gain some small comfort from this.