My mum is dying of COVID, I am destroyed

[Bereftmypoormum]

My darling mum is only 70 and was in good health. She caught the virus in December and has been hospitalised for 5 weeks. She needed pressurised oxygen at the beginning but was then stepped down and they were preparing for discharge in the new year. At that time she still had a lot of COVID lung damage. She then got a secondary bacterial pneumonia and has been ventilated for a few days. She’s not responding, now other organs are failing and it is likely they will withdraw treatment today.

I feel so unbearably sad for her. To have this happen, to be without us all these weeks as we weren’t allowed to visit on the COVID ward. To be getting ready to go home then another week of slow deterioration and then a sepsis. And now she’s going to die.

I saw her the last few days, she’s starting to look like she’s dying, it’s like torture.

Poor teen DD is terribly upset, mum was like a third parent to her. We were so close, I keep seeing mum in her house, or walking around the town with me, our favourite coffee shops, and then think I’ll never be able to do any of that with her again. She was the person I’d call with good or bad news, my true friend. DH and DD are wonderful but how will I cope without her?

I'm so sorry OP, how terrible. Thinking of you, your DD and your DM x

How’s things op? Have been thinking of you all day

I’m so sorry op. Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel as my dm passed away from Covid on Tuesday. She was in a care home and it was never the plan that she would go to hospital. She was my life. It’s devastating. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. This waiting bit you’re doing now is almost the worst but tbh. I felt calm when the call came. I’ve fallen apart many many times since. Am here if you want to chat

So sorry kenworthington. My heart goes out to you. Keep strong

Thank you. I was with her until the end. We’re all devastated. Keeps hitting like a ton of bricks. Thank you for all the support.

@SaltyAF

This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. I lost my mum to cancer aged 60 but at least she was in a hospice and died with company, clean and peaceful. Your mum's situation is dreadful.

I’m so sorry, 60 is too young.

@Kenworthington

I’m so sorry op. Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel as my dm passed away from Covid on Tuesday. She was in a care home and it was never the plan that she would go to hospital. She was my life. It’s devastating. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. This waiting bit you’re doing now is almost the worst but tbh. I felt calm when the call came. I’ve fallen apart many many times since. Am here if you want to chat

I’m so sorry, hideous isn’t it, like a terrible nightmare that you can’t seem to wake from. I’m feeling grief at her loss and that I’ll never be able to talk to her again. And then an overwhelming sadness for her that her life was cut short, so cruelly.

I'm so very sorry op. This is making my cry juat reading it. So can't imagine how you're feeling. I can't make it better but just wanted to send love.

I’m so sorry.

I'm so sorry op

You poor love . So very sorry

I know what you’re going through. I lost my mum suddenly too.

I’m so very sorry.

I’m very sorry for you loss 💐

@ @Bereftmypoormum I can feel every word of this. I'm so sorry, it is heart breaking.
I lost my mum last April so suddenly to a huge bleed on the brain I was only 27 and 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It knocks the wind out of me if I allow myself to think about the fact she will never meet my baby and I will never ever see her again she wasn't just my mum she was my role model, best friend , soul mate I loved her so much. Life is so cruel and it's heart breaking that you have guilt at this difficult time loved ones should be allowed to be by their bedside and look after them and care for them it's all just so shit I am very sorry you are going through this life is so unfair. X

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so unfair when someone you love, a good person, is taken away too soon.

I feel heartbroken for you, for you and your mum.

I'm so sorry, my aunt was very similar and was actually discharged and went home. She was taken back in and passed away two days later. We thought she would get better but too much damage had been done and her organs couldn't take it.

It's so utterly shit, I'm sending all my love to you and your mum

This was my Mum at Christmas (not Covid) no visitors at all, by the time they let my Dad in she was already unconscious and died a few hours later when it was clear she wasn't going to get better for at least the final week.

60 years together and didn't get to say goodbye

What's so distressing is that is problem the norm now in hospitals up and down the country.

So very, very sorry ❤️

I’m so sorry.

She saw you into this world in a cloud of love.

You saw her out of this world in a cloud of love.

I hope that brings you a wee bit of comfort for this dark day. May your memories of her come to make you smile when you are ready.

I’m so sorry for your loss

This is what had frightened me so much and why I'm so angry at those who won't wear masks etc., my mum is thankfully alive but she caught covid at 70 with three additional bigger risk conditions. There's so much we don't know, it shouldn't be happening to your dear mum. I wish you strength over the coming days.

My heart goes out to you,sending you lots of love.These are very tough times

Oh OP, the sadness of losing your darling mother is only understood by those who have been there - I lost my darling mum 5 years ago, after a sudden illness and then rapid deterioration in hospital. Like you I was there at the end. The grief will come in waves, just accept it and let it wash over you. Don’t try to ignore it, be good to yourself and don’t expect too much from yourself or from those around you. We all cope differently but I found it helpful to chat with my siblings on a WhatsApp group daily. We would just write our thoughts or something that reminded us of mum or some memory - it really has helped us all and 5 years on, we still chat almost daily on it.