My mum is dying of COVID, I am destroyed

[Bereftmypoormum]

My darling mum is only 70 and was in good health. She caught the virus in December and has been hospitalised for 5 weeks. She needed pressurised oxygen at the beginning but was then stepped down and they were preparing for discharge in the new year. At that time she still had a lot of COVID lung damage. She then got a secondary bacterial pneumonia and has been ventilated for a few days. She’s not responding, now other organs are failing and it is likely they will withdraw treatment today.

I feel so unbearably sad for her. To have this happen, to be without us all these weeks as we weren’t allowed to visit on the COVID ward. To be getting ready to go home then another week of slow deterioration and then a sepsis. And now she’s going to die.

I saw her the last few days, she’s starting to look like she’s dying, it’s like torture.

Poor teen DD is terribly upset, mum was like a third parent to her. We were so close, I keep seeing mum in her house, or walking around the town with me, our favourite coffee shops, and then think I’ll never be able to do any of that with her again. She was the person I’d call with good or bad news, my true friend. DH and DD are wonderful but how will I cope without her?

@Fizbosshoes

I'm so sorry , its heartbreaking. It must be truly awful to have your hopes raised and then for her to deteriorate. I lost my DM to something similar 10 years ago so I feel your pain x

I’m so sorry.

Gosh i am so sorry.

I’m so so sorry

I’m so sorry it’s such an awful time. Sending you a massive virtual hug xx

Im so sorry. Sending you strength and courage to get through the most awful of times.

So sorry so dreadfully cruel

That's awful. I hope you can be with her today. I'm sure she knows how loved she is

Sending love and strength

Please take huge comfort in the fact that your daughter knew and loved and was loved by her Gran. My darling Mum passed away 8 years ago (fucking cancer at 64) and never got to meet my kids.
Do you know how they say you are born with all your eggs in you? Take comfort in that, that your Mum made you and your eggs (ie your daughter) so she will always remain a huge part of your past and your future life with your daughter.
It’s so tough, but it does get easier I promise. Please be kind to yourself.

It’s awful it’s like someone literally pulls your heart out. I know they are king at the moment but NHS severely failed my poor mum, and she too died.
It’s horrific and the pain, injustice and anger is still with me.

I am so sorry it’s just awful. Sending love and strength xxx

I'm so sorry. It's such a very sad situation. You are in my thoughts.

Op I’m so sorry, truly.

If I offer can one bit of useful advice, having lost my parents (not to covid), it’s get off your phone and mumsnet and be present. Genuinely present.

My thoughts are with you and your lovely mum x

It's such a tough, tough thing to go through, losing your poor beloved Mum

Sadly, it comes to us all. It's something we all have to go through. That helped me to remember that: that it's a natural and inevitable part of life that our Mums, and their Mums before them went through too.

I think it helps to remember how extraordinarily fortunate you are to have such a wonderful relationship with your Mum too. The end of her life will not change that you have had that.

It's very hard and totally sh*t. Look after yourself OP

I'm very sorry 💐

This is so sad. I’m so sorry for you and your family.

I'm so sorry OP. I hope you can be with her today

OP to make her comfortable now, why not take some dry shampoo to spray into her hair - or they do the shower free shamppoo that cleans hair without water? I needed this when I was in hospital, as nurses just did not have the time even before they became so stretched.
Mosturise her hands and trim her nails
Take in some soft blankets (if you are allowed) from home
Maybe some music quietly playing for her, to remind her of happier times. Or sing to her.
A favourite scent for her skin
You can make her more comfortable today

I am really so sorry your mother, and all of you are going through this op

You will get through this, because your little dd needs you.

So very sorry to read this OP. Take care of yourself and try to forget all the 'what ifs' and 'I should haves' and concentrate on caring for yourself and your daughter if you can.

Sending love and strength xx

So sorry to hear this it must be a real shock and is going to be very hard for you and DD to process. Keep talking ... to each other and to us. ❤

So sorry to hear what you are all going through. Sending love xx

I'm so very sorry about your lovely Mother. 70 is so young. 😔
It sounds like you and your daughter have a wonderful relationship.
I don't think there will be any words that will make you feel better. It's just too sad and unfair. I suppose you just need to keep remembering all the good things and try to forget (or at least park) the bad things.

Am so sorry to hear that. Sounds like you and your mum have a beautiful relationship

My heart goes out to you OP

I lost my mum at the same age last Autumn and I still miss her so very much. It was so cruel. She was so loved and had so much more to give.

It does comfort me to know that she lives on in her children and grandchildren. She influenced us all hugely and that is her legacy. All the people she loved.