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Bereavement

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My husband has died 2

232 replies

peachgreen · 23/11/2020 12:40

Just starting a new thread. Thank you so much for all the support you have given me so far. I honestly can't tell you how much it has helped. I've read and reread your posts in the middle of the night when I feel most alone and it has honestly and truly kept me alive at points. I'm so grateful.

Over the next two weeks I have what would have been our fifth wedding anniversary and Mike's 43rd birthday to get through. I'm dreading them. But I also want to mark them somehow. I think I might buy myself a watch to mark our anniversary, one featuring wood. I've also contacted a local jewellers - I'm going to get our wedding rings interlinked and made into a necklace so I can wear them always, no matter what happens in future.

This feeling of being married and yet not married, a wife and yet not a wife, is the strangest thing I've ever experienced. I feel half a person, like my purpose for living has gone. I'm carrying on for my daughter and I am finding some joy in her - especially as she gets more like her Daddy every day - but mostly I spend my days in a sort of disbelieving, numb haze. I keep expecting him to just walk back in the door and give me a big cuddle and tell me how well I've done and now we can get back to normal.

I miss him so, so much.

OP posts:
beavisandbutthead · 01/12/2020 20:55

I have been watching your threads from afar and felt your horror at finding Mike dead. Life is a strange thing...you plod along and dont expect the horrors that you might read about or see in hollywood films happen to you. Then it does, life feels very real when your loved one is ill, everything around us feels vibrant and alive. My DH is now terminal after diagnosis and treatment last year. I am terrified....I can pretend to be tough as I always am...I have 3 DC at home that need me and I am struggling. So I can completely understand where you are...difference is I am preparing for life alone and have no timeline and I am struggling, you have had your future whipped from underneath you. Take each day as it comes, accept your going to struggle with a new reality

SweetShopSurprise · 01/12/2020 20:58

PM’d you also Peach.

So sorry you’ve been trolled Sad

Queenest · 01/12/2020 21:03

Sorry to hear this too Peach. I have enjoyed reading your writing but I understand you have to protect yourself from trolls. Hope you’re ok.

MrsPworkingmummy · 02/12/2020 06:39

@peachgreen I've messaged you on Facebook via our group's page. Lots of love xx

peachgreen · 05/12/2020 12:23

Hi all. Difficult day today. It would have been our fifth wedding anniversary. Miss him so much.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 05/12/2020 12:23

Hope it's okay to share this here.

My husband has died 2
OP posts:
baggies · 05/12/2020 12:43

What a gorgeous photo of you both. It's bittersweet but a wonderful memory. Sending you love and Thanks

EarringsandLipstick · 05/12/2020 12:45

Beautiful photo Peaches hope the happy memories of your time together can sustain you somewhat on this very hard day 💞

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 05/12/2020 13:03

That's a lovely photo!

What a hard day for you. May I suggest Strictly, takeaway and a glass to raise once Lyla is in bed.

Mumek · 05/12/2020 13:21

Lovely photo. Sending love and hugs.

Horsemad · 05/12/2020 14:55

Oh that's a lovely photo @peachgreen. One to treasure, definitely. ❤️
Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Flowers

notapizzaeater · 05/12/2020 22:46

That's a lovely photo, you can see the love x

peachgreen · 06/12/2020 12:53

Thank you everyone. I watched our wedding video last night and it was very sad but also very healing. Struggling a lot today though. It's very hard to see a future without him in it.

OP posts:
HundredYearOldMan · 06/12/2020 15:21

You are doing so well. I’m sure your wedding video is beautiful. I’m sorry it’s so hard. He will be in your future - in your daughter and your heart and in everything you taught each other about love and life.

bearlyactive · 06/12/2020 19:26

Missing your blog peach! That was a lovely photo of you and Mike Flowers

MrsPworkingmummy · 06/12/2020 20:50

Oh @peachgreen what a gorgeous pic. I'm pleased to hear watching your wedding video brought you some joy xxxxxx

ballsdeep · 06/12/2020 20:55

It's a gorgeous pic Peach and your love for each other shines from it.
I'm sending you so much love and my heart breaks for you

southernbelles · 06/12/2020 21:36

What a beautiful photo & I love that you feel comfortable to share it. You sound like you are doing incredibly well considering what you are going through, though it probably doesn't feel like it. Keep going Thanks

peachgreen · 07/12/2020 18:57

Things are really starting to hit me now I think. I'm really struggling with beihg a solo parent even though I have loads of support. I just hate it. I would never ever have had children if I'd thought I would have to do it alone and I'm really angry with myself that I didn't consider this as a possibility and make a more sensible decision. I love my daughter and I'm doing everything I need to to keep her safe and healthy but I'm finding it so exhausting and honestly, just a bit miserable. I just miss him so much. He was the natural parent. And I'm just shit by comparison. I feel so sorry for her that she lost the good parent and got stuck with me.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 07/12/2020 20:23

@peachgreen you are going through a massive life-changing experience, don't knock yourself down, YOU are the best parent for your little girl. It is going to be hard but you have already shown immense strength.
There will be lots of down days - days when you struggle. Lots. Just keep going, it's little baby steps for now. Flowers

Are you still blogging? I hope so because your writing is beautiful.

MrsPworkingmummy · 07/12/2020 20:38

@peachgreen I think what you're feeling is a 'normal' reaction to grief. Don't give up as you'd made loads of progress. You've had a couple of 'firsts' to get through over the last week and Christmas is obviously going to be hard; it's no surprise you're feeling particularly shitty. Keep loving your daughter. Even if you feel numb and dont really feel it, hug her tight, tell her you love her and try to muster some enthusiasm for playing with her. Kids are fickle at this age! You really are doing brilliantly and have a massive group of people behind you x

Marmunia1975 · 08/12/2020 13:48

I'm still keeping up with your news Peach, and thinking of you xxx

DuzzyFuck · 08/12/2020 17:49

Hi Peach, just popping into see how you're doing, I'm sorry to read you've been struggling recently. You're still doing an amazing job though, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

I'm glad to see you've been writing your blog, writing when you're hurt can be so cathartic, and what a precious thing for Lyla to read when she's older, lovely memories of her Daddy. Keep at it xxx

Bananapancakes0 · 08/12/2020 23:42

I've nc but you just popped into my head Peach. Please don't feel guilty for being the parent Lyla has, you'll be doing the best job you can and it is enough. Flowers

SweetShopSurprise · 09/12/2020 09:46

Keep going Peach, still here, still reading and still thinking of you and Lyla often

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