My husband has died

[peachgreen]

He died today. He was 42. He had recently been diagnosed with a heart condition and spent a month in hospital but we believed he was going to be okay. He went upstairs for a rest and they think he had a heart attack. He didn't cry out, they think it would have been fairly instant. I found him when I went to check on him a few hours later and I knew he had gone, I did CPR but I knew it was too late.

He was my soul mate, my other half, the true love of my life. We have a little girl who is almost 3. If it wasn't for her I would kill myself. I can't imagine life ever having any meaning without him.

Huge sympathy and condolences for your loss, @peachgreen.

I saw your horrid update on the other thread OP.

I'm so sorry to hear that Mike has died.

Please give yourself some time and space, it has only just happened and you'll be in shock at the moment. Focus on the absolute basics (fluid, rest, cuddles with your DD) and just do what you have to do to get through the minutes / hours / days.

I know it feels utterly bleak now but you will get through this. Sadly because there is no alternative.... you have to get through it for your DD.

I'm not in the same position as it was my mum who recently died very suddenly [she was young to die but not young like your DH] and losing her has been hard enough.

I send you all the love and strength and courage in the world. Be sad, but be brave too. Keep going x

Will it really ever become bearable? That seems impossible just now. Life without him is utter blackness and bleakness

Yes, it will become bearable in time although it doesn't feel like that right now. There are stages that you go through and at the moment you are faced with the shock and horror of it all and it's so difficult to see beyond that when you're literally in the eye of the storm. Please do come and join widowed and young, there are lots of people just like you, at your stage right now, and obviously further along down the road too. There is a membership fee, but I believe they will waive it if there is financial hardship. When my husband died joining WAY was the first thing I did. I couldn't really afford it but I felt that I needed to. I promise you that it was the best thing I could have done, having the support of other people in the same situation as me, and the kiddies, totally saved me. It doesn't change the situation, but it made life more bearable.

I'm so very sorry. I am holding you and your daughter in my thoughts .

I’m so very sorry to hear that your husband Mike has died.
Let the tears flow, I know it feels like once started they will never stop.

My DH died in 2008, we knew he would die from the brain tumour he had. Even though we knew he would die, it was a shock when it happened,

So I can only imagine how shocked you all are. Especially as he’d come back from hospital.
I’m glad you have support around you from those who know and love you. I got a huge amount of support from MN
Joining WAY (Widowed and young) was one of the best things I did.
Getting through the minutes and hours anyhow you can, is enough at the moment.
If you find yourself unable to sleep, there is always someone awake on here to talk to.
Please feel free to send me a PM at anytime. ❤️

Thank you all. I have joined Widowed and Young and I'm just waiting to be approved. I'm in agony but your kind words have helped, as much as anything can.

I miss him so much. I can't believe this is real. I keep expecting him to just walk in the door. My beautiful boy. He was so lovely. So loving.

I have been thinking about you all day OP even though I don't know you. I hope you find strength from somewhere and keep his memory alive for yourself and your little girl. My heart goes out to you.

I'm glad you've joined Peachgreen. From the website (you'll have full access once you're a member) you can ask to join the national and local Facebook groups which are private groups for way members only. They are very active groups (particularly the national one) and you will be made very welcome. Look after yourself in the meantime, keep strong, and no doubt I'll see you over there

This is awful, sending so much love. Please ensure you have people around you.

I am so desperately sorry, Peach. I remember your other thread too.

Your love for Mike shone through in every word, and I have thought of you often since.

What a senseless tragedy.

I just can't believe this is real. It feels like he could walk back in the door any minute, or I could just pick up the phone and call him. I love him so much. I don't know how I could ever be happy without him.

Just take one minute, one hour, one day at a time Peachgreen. Make sure you eat and take all offers of help.

So sorry @peachgreen to you and your little one
There are no words at a time like this

Bless you, I'm really willing you through this horrendous time. Are your family still with you? How is your daughter? My heart is breaking for you xx

My sister in law is here and my parents arrive tomorrow evening. It's so hard though because as much as I love all these other people, they arent my Mikey. They never can be.

Our little girl is only just over 2 and a half so she doesn't understand. She keeps asking where Daddy is and why she can't see him in heaven.

Peachgreen I'm so sorry for you. Never feel that you're alone. People here will always listen.

Lots of love to you and your little girl.

My heart broke for you reading this update I followed your last thread. I'm so sorry you've lost your wonderful Mike.

Would it be comforting to talk about him, how you met? Your favourite meal he cooked for you? Your favourite memory?

So, so sorry.

So sorry for your loss OP. How devastating for you and your little girl.
I'm glad your family are with you.
You will find a way through this although it won't feel like that now. One hour/day at a time.
Thinking of you and sending strength.

I am so sorry for your loss @peachgreen

@tokenginger

Thank you. It really would.

Although the story of how we met is too convoluted to tell, really. But it was love at first sight for both of us, a sense of coming home, a physical click in the chest. Like nothing I'd ever experienced. Circumstances kept us apart for almost a year but once we got together we moved in together within 2 weeks. It was just so very right.

My favourite meal isn't just one. After DD was born I had very severe post natal depression. He stepped up and was just the most wonderful carer for us both. He took everything off my plate so I could concentrate on recovering and on building my bond with DD. So he cooked every single night. Even when I was better he kept doing it because he knew I hated it. It wasn't until he was diagnosed with his heart condition that I started cooking for him again. I wish I'd had the chance to do it for longer.

I don't know if I could pick a favourite memory. There are so many. Saying our wedding vows was the most wonderful, intimate, important 20 minutes of my life and always will be. But on Monday he and I had a blustery evening walk along the seafront near our home, wrapped up together, drinking coffee and talking about our future. It was heavenly. That will always stay with me too. He was perfect. Our love was perfect.

Will it really ever become bearable? That seems impossible just now. Life without him is utter blackness and bleakness.

It will be awful, for the foreseeable future you will feel crushing pain every time you look at his picture or his chair or his side of the bed. When it's Christmas, his birthday, your birthday, your baby's birthday, Tuesday, Sunday, this evening...they're all going to hurt.

Then, very gradually, you'll start to have hours when you put the sadness aside and find contentedness in something, then it will become days then eventually your memories won't be so painful that you cry, but they'll make you smile when you remember his smile.

It's bleak now, but it's not the end of your life, not by a long shot.

I read your previous thread too. I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your little girl.

Op I’m so very sorry for your pain. Life will seem so bleak right now but slowly slowly your life will begin to grow around your loss to make a new normal. One day you will look back and wonder when it was you started to live more normally again, that everyday routine we all take for granted. The memory and the pain will never be fully gone, it will hit you in waves when you least expect it, but when you are knocked off your feet, each time you will get back up quicker than the last,
Thinking of you, your family and Mike tonight

So sorry OP. Hang on in there, as impossible as it may seem, your little one needs you.