My husband has died

[peachgreen]

He died today. He was 42. He had recently been diagnosed with a heart condition and spent a month in hospital but we believed he was going to be okay. He went upstairs for a rest and they think he had a heart attack. He didn't cry out, they think it would have been fairly instant. I found him when I went to check on him a few hours later and I knew he had gone, I did CPR but I knew it was too late.

He was my soul mate, my other half, the true love of my life. We have a little girl who is almost 3. If it wasn't for her I would kill myself. I can't imagine life ever having any meaning without him.

@peachgreen

Will it really ever become bearable? That seems impossible just now. Life without him is utter blackness and bleakness.

Time.

Your daughter.

Knowing that Mike would want the best life possible for both you and her.

OP, Mike is with you. Your DD is 50% your Mike. She will do things, say things, have mannerisms of Mike that will remind you of his love and the joy he brought to you and will always bring.
I am so sorry for your loss - I followed your other thread. I have felt upset for you and I don't know you,but there are some inspirational posts from others in your position here. Keep those somewhere for when you're ready.

I'm so sorry, I remember your previous thread about Mike and was so pleased for you when he got home. My thoughts are with you.

Oh OP, this is awful. I’m so sorry.

I am so sorry OP. Your posts are so sad and he sounded like such a great man. I promise it will become bearable but pls take your time to navigate through this. You'll need your family around for total support so pls take all acts of kindness in the spirit intended from them. Love to you and your DC

I am so, so, so sorry. That's just the shittest, worst, most miserable thing and there is nothing redeeming anyone can say right now. I really am so sorry.

I am so so sorry for your loss. Your post has made me cry, so I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now.

@peachgreen so sorry , I can relate so much , mine died 3 weeks ago just before my sons 13th birthday , I feel broken too
We have to to go on for our children but it's so hard , one day at a time is how I'm taking it , some days are better than others but we will get through it x

I am so so sorry

Sending love and light OP. Xx

Oh my goodness OP, I am just so sorry, I don't have any other words

I lost my dh 10 years ago @peachgreen . Like you I had a 2 year old and I also had a newborn. I promise you it does become bearable. When it feels overwhelming just take 1 minute at a time. If that feels too long, take 10 seconds at a time. The paralyising grief will pass in that minute. PM me if it helps

So sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss. I was following your other thread. Life can be so cruel some times.
Your daughter will be your strength, she will keep you going. My mum lost my dad at a similar age, leaving her with 3 young children. She said we carried her through the sadness and kept her going. Be kind to yourself and just take it one step at a time. x

Hi OP. Nora Mcinerny talks about the loss of her husband in a ted talk. It really helped me when I lost my son.
She talks about how you don’t move on from grief, you move forward with it. The pain does become bearable and you learn to live in this new world.
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband

@peachgreen I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking about you and your little girl xx

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.

Sending you and your daughter love.

I’m not sure if this has been mentioned but there is a charity called WAY (widowed and young). When you are ready, they are an amazing place to find support from people who have all experienced similar things. I really recommend joining them. It’s been a lifeline for me.
Lots of love to you.

so so sorry op

I am so so sorry, sending you and your little girl all the love and light in the world.

Oh Peachgreen, I'd followed your other thread and was really chuffed when I'd read that Mike had been discharged home. I'm so so sorry to read that he has died. I can't imagine what feelings you must be having and the shock you must be in. I've lost both parents in past 3yrs but I know that it is nothing like this. My heart goes out to you, and all your family.

I have no words of advice other than to lean on friends and family, and to take each day at a time. And keep living and making beautiful memories for your little girl. I'm betting that is what Mike would want you to do. There's no handbook or instruction manual for this time.

A lovely friend of mine (we went to school together) lost her wonderful husband very suddenly about 7yrs ago, when she was 33. He was a fit, healthy 37yr old man who (one day) woke up and couldn't move. On arrival in hospital, tests showed that he was riddled with cancer. He died within 24hrs. I just made sure I was there for my friend as much as she needed me: checking in on her, listening, being there, making sure she had food/drink/was looking after herself, and so on. She found a lot of comfort and help in a group called Widowed and Young. I don't know if you can face that yet, but one day it might be of use. You never forget, but you learn how to carry on. Loads of love x

Oh gosh how horrible. So sorry

Please please please read Option B by Sheryl Sandberg (you can get the Libby app and get it on audiobook if you don't feel up to reading). Honestly you won't regret it.

Thinking of you

I’m so sorry, sending you my love xx

@peachgreen

Will it really ever become bearable? That seems impossible just now. Life without him is utter blackness and bleakness.

I think you eventually find a way to live with it but that's a way off xx