I'm not sure this is the right place for me. I am bit out of my depth, as I am not as devastated as I should be. It's really odd, maybe I haven't come to terms with it.
My DM (92) and my StepF (86) both died 2 weeks ago of Covid, in their care home and within 48 hours of one another. We had expected StepF to die so many times in the last few years, multiple issues, that his death really was a release. My DM, although old, was basically healthy. She was only in the care home to keep StepF company. Her death was therefore very unexpected. However, because she was that old, she was very ready to go. Both had advanced directives for no hospital treatment, or aggressive treatment for saving of life, so they were both pretty pragmatic about dying. DM was not at all religious either, so dying is just the end of a natural life.
I am honestly not sure how to feel. For both of them, in different ways, this was not a tragedy. I think what's difficult to accept is how they went, and so fast. In another way, thank goodness they went together, they would have been bereft without one another. So, again another thing to be thankful for.
Because we are two different families, my mum having married a second time, but later in life, the funerals are separate. So we two funerals in one week, in a couple of weeks time. One burial, which I have never been to, and not looking forward to, and one cremation. Both will be quick 20 minute jobs, with no church service, just committals. So again, a bit unreal. We plan to have memorials later in the year so that their friends can attend. Although tbh, most of their friends had already passed away.
It's just a really weird time. We lost FIL last year too, and that was so much more tragic, but can't put my finger on why. Maybe, because he was the first GP to go? It's been a bad 6 months for us.