Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

[Pinkchampagne]

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

im sure u'll feel much better when you go and see ur sister....she will be feeling the same emotions as you are feeling, and it will be good for you jst to sit and talk to her.....more hugs x

So sorry. Take care

Been to see my sister. She is very much in shock after hearing the news & has also been awake for most of the night.
BIL phoned the home that nan goes into on a Monday, to find out the whole story.
They said that she had a stroke at 11.30am while she was there & they phoned an ambulance. She taken to hospital, where she later lost her fight at 8.45pm.
My sister & myself feel upset that the family didn't try to get hold of us in that time, so we would have had a chance to get over to see her & at least say our goodbyes to her, but at the same time, it would have been awful to see her in such a bad way.

Mum & dad are flying home tomorrow.

I'm not mentioning anything to the boys just yet as they have been through enough just recently.

i know exactly how u must be feeling at the moment, and u must think that these family members are really selfish in not contacting you sooner, but it was probably not out of callousness, just probably not thinking and being more concerned about ur nans condition........they might have just hoped she would pull through

pc, sorry to hear about this it must be an awful time for you.

Can I just say - please don't beat yourself up over what you should have done or said. If you had of been to see your nan you wouldn't have known she was going to die so you still wouldn't have said everything to her that you feel you should have. Life can be cruel but I bet your nan knew how loved she was and hopefully she'll be looking down on you now and seeing just how much she meant to you.

I know the family were probably too involved in what was happening on Monday, and we are not very close to our aunties, uncles & cousins on mums side. If my parents had been around, we would have known straight away, it is just unfortunate.
We both feel awful that we were going about our business on Monday, not knowing what was happening with poor nan. It is all such a shock. We didn't know she was ill, and now she's gone, just like that, nan has gone & we will never see her again. Just can't get my head round that thought.

I know I have been very lucky to have had my lovely nan for so long though.

I'm glad that you and your sister had each other today.
Are the boys home from school, or with exh?

god im so sorry pc i really wish that u didnt have to feel like this ,i know this is stereotype but think of what a great life ur nan has had, im sure she lived it to the full she'd be horrified if she knew how much u not being there has affected you

They are with ex H atm, Blu. I haven't seen DS1 at all since finding out, but had DS2 with me today at my sisters.

How old was she, PC?
Bet she was proud of you and her lovely grandchildren.
Yes, you were lucky to have her - but think what you gave her too - and how happy they must have made her.

Ex H has kind of taken over the boys care a lot since I have been a bit too much of a wreck. I don't like the boys seeing me like this.

She was a good age, Blu, she was 85, but it doesn't make it feel any easier.
When I last saw her she mentioned her age & I said "Oh, but you are as old as you feel, nan, and I bet you don't feel 85 do you?"
She answered "Sometimes love, sometimes"
I think she was startinfg to feel a bit old & tired.

She was getting lots of headaches

No, of course her age doesn't make it easier, you've lost someone you love, and have known all your life. I'm glad she had a good long life, though. It's just not fair, this whole mortality thing, is it?

Good that exh is taking the pressure off by having the boys. Might be best to think of a way to tell them yourself though...before he or your mother come up with one of their versions.

I know it's sad, but they will feel more comforted if you tell them.

Lucky boys, to have known a great grandmother - that's very strong. I wish my DS had known my granny and grandad. Like passing on that love through the generations.

She had lots of great grandchildren, but was especially close to my boys & they loved her.
She would always pull some old junk out of her little trolley for the boys - anything from a stuffed penguin to an old bell! She also often have sweets, so DS2 would always be sniffing around her, saying "What have you got in there!"
Ds1 would sit & read to her & she would fall asleep!
Ds1 is at that age where he worries about death & people dying, and he would get concerned that his great nanny would die because she was old, so I'm dreading breaking the news to him.
Their father has promised not to say a word. It has to come from me. I am going round to my parents house to see the boys in a bit. I will make sure I am strong around them.

i understand my nan is 88 and to me shes like immortal, u probably felt that way too, we have come close to losing her a few times in this past year and its shite x

My nan was lucky to have a good long life, but her death has still made me think just how fragile life is.

it does makes u realise how you take things for granted....its human nature for you to be feeling the way that you are at the moment and there's nothing you can do but take it day by day

I did feel a bit like that. My nan was such a fighter, she has had a lot of health scares, but she always fought through them. I kind of felt like nan would always be around, although I obviously knew deep down this wouldn't be the case.

They say it gets easier with time. I can't imagine it ever feeling easier right now though.

i know >>>>>>>>>>>HUGHEHUG

it does get easier i promise you....its impossible to think that u will actually smile again at the moment but u will x

Ex H has phoned to say I can stay round my parents tonight if I need to, but that would be a very bad idea. It would be all too easy to allow myself to be comforted by him atm, and that would just screw me up more, and be wrong all round.