Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

[Pinkchampagne]

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

[hazygirl]

i m ok ,how r the children coping,how old are they, i think they pick up on alot, my four year old gd has had it worse,she went to bed two years ago and woke up her dad had gone, after trying to stab my dd ,hes never been back,then her baby brother died and since then she says strange things when ill, she thinks everyone dies,kids cope so differntly

[Pinkchampagne]

My boys seem to be coping with the news ok, but they do mention their great nanny at times.
They are challanging me with their behaviour a lot though, which is wearing me down a bit.

[hazygirl]

keep trying ,they prob can sense your stressed and it rubs off ,i try and distract the girls when it gets too much,things can only get better.in fact our youngest gd has great paddys,the other day it was peeing it down she wanted see saw in we said no.its filthy .she ran through kitchen,door slam,through room,door slam then went and put herself on naughty step,it was hilarous,even she was laughing so she did it again and again to keep everyone laughingx

[triplets]

Hi a real quickie, just spent ages sending you all a message, lost it, then had my pen-pal on the phone about our visit next week. Pinks, keep positive, no good looking back, I should know, the build up to Tues will probably be the worst part, will pray for sunshine, it does help, remember Matthews funeral, grey June day, drizzly, but just as we arrived at the cemetery the sun broke through the clouds, like a message almost. Loads of love and lovely messages in the paper, xxx



Hi Hazy,
We must try to catch up when I get back from my hols, xx

[hazygirl]

hi triplets will catch up then,have a lovely holiday,you deserve itx

[Pinkchampagne]

Thanks, triplets. I hope your DS is better now & that you have a great holiday.
We will have to meet up at some point when you get back.

[hazygirl]

pc i dont know if any good to you but there is a free site where you can place tributes on of your nan,www.gonetoosoon.com.uk,my youngest daughter did one of our little man,and his mum looks at it all time,we all do it helps cos were alli n the same boatx

[Pinkchampagne]

Thanks for that, hazygirl, I will take a look at that site.

I read nan's order of service & her tribute this evening, which was very upsetting.
Don't think I can go & see her tomorrow, I really don't. I don't think nan would want me to do it if it was going to upset me.

[Pinkchampagne]

Dreading tomorrow so much, I really am.

[hazygirl]

you will feel better hopefully after tomorrow

[Pinkchampagne]

Can't bear the thought of nan going in the ground. Still can't believe she's really gone.

[Pinkchampagne]

Couldn't bring myself to go & see her today. Didn't think I could handle it.

[hazygirl]

im sure you have decided the right thing, it is my big regret,for a long time all i saw for a long time at night was jayden,now the lovely memories are here still. our scan went ok today but my four year old granddaughter was upset they didnt take her out to show her

[hazygirl]

i cant remember a lot of the funeral sounds daft doesnt it ,they didnt want a church service,blamed him above ,how could he do this to us,but nearly hundred people turned up to the cemetry to have his service conducted by a lovely vicar,who agreed to do service at cemetry,it was december 18, not warm day,but lots of their young mates turned up ,no coats on i remember that,i think i shut alot out it was easier to get through it

[Pinkchampagne]

Pleased to hear the scan went well, hazy. Bless your little granddaughter!

[Pinkchampagne]

I'm feeling very emotional tonight. I am dreading the funeral tomorrow so much. This is the first funeral I have attended & it's my lovely nan's. It's going to be really hard to get through, I know it is.

[hazygirl]

i will b thinking of you and good luck tomorrowx

[Pinkchampagne]

Thanks, hazy.

[Pinkchampagne]

I keep looking at her will that she wrote to her family. She says to share what little she has, and sorry she has no money. Bless her, she didn't have much money, but she was the most generous person & would always have little treats for my boys everytime we saw her. She was kind & lovely, and will be so so missed.

[Pinkchampagne]

Don't know how I'm going to get through today.
My friend came to pick up DS1 & take him to school for me, and he gave her a really hard time, screaming & refusing to get into her car, so I had to take him into school in the end.
MIL is turning up to take care of DS2 in a bit.

Don't know if I'll get a chance to post again today, but thank you to all of you for your support over the last couple of weeks. It has helped me a lot.x

[Pinkchampagne]

At least the sun is shining for my nan.

[NAB3]

I have been thinking about you today. How did the funeral go? How are you doing?

[Pinkchampagne]

Funeral went ok, but it was a very traumatic experience, and I am feeling really exhausted tonight.
Thank you for thinking of me.x

[triplets]

Hi Pink,
Thought of you often yesterday, the day has gone, now look forward, its what she would want. Off tomorrow until the 24th Aug, see you soon, xxx

[Pinkchampagne]

It is a relief that the day has passed now. It all went well, with no kick offs from the family, which was one of our big fears.

It was hard, and I cried so much, but I got through it better than I thought I would.

I placed a kiss on her coffin, which was my goodbye to my nan.
I would always kiss nan goodbye before I left her, so this felt the right thing to do.

Hoping to go to the cemetary later to look at all her flowers.

Hope you have a great holiday, triplets.
Thanks for all your support.x