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Original poster

Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

427 replies

Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 17:57

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 19:47

Don't know how I'm going to tell my boys, they loved their great nanny.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 19:48

Everybody loved her

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 10/07/2007 19:49

PC

Step away from the PC, go for a walk we will still be here when you get back.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 19:50

Keep splashing water on my face to try & make myself look half normal enough to go outside

OP posts:
suezee · 10/07/2007 19:52

just go for a walk i promise u wont give a shit if ppl think ur a fruit x

RubySlippers · 10/07/2007 19:53

i am sorry for your loss
she sounds like she was a big part of your life
let the tears flow if they need to

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 21:08

Have been out for walk. Spoken to mum on phone. They are flying home ASAP.

OP posts:
Tortington · 10/07/2007 21:09

i'm so sorry - this is just the shit on top of the shit for you at the moment.

if you need t talk cat me.

CalifrauniusFudge · 10/07/2007 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suezee · 10/07/2007 21:20

pc more hugs to u x x

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 22:56

Thank you all for your support today.

I am still in shock & cannot believe nan is no longer with us.
Found out she died at 8.30pm last night & cannot believe I have been carrying on with life like all is ok until this evening. I wish I had known nan was unwell, I feel so guilty.

Custy - thank you, I know how much you have been through recently & will try to avoid adding my stresses to you, but I may just CAT you to say hi.

OP posts:
Marina · 10/07/2007 23:03

Strokes often happen without warning PC, you must not feel guilty about not knowing she was unwell. she may not have been.
I am so sorry she died, especially when you have so many other things going on in your life, Does it help even a tiny bit to remember all the good times you had with her? It sounds as though she lived a long, busy life surrounded by loving family, and her death was quick and not the long slow decline feared by so many grandmas and grandpas. Lots of love XXX

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 23:11

She did, Marina. She was very loved by us all & everyone who knew her.
She had a small stroke earlier in the year, but fought it off in the way my nan always did, this is why we are all so very shocked by news of her very sudden death - my nan was a fighter & she has now finally lost her fight.
Just wish I had known she was poorly & could have been there to hold her hand & tell her how much I loved her.

OP posts:
Blu · 10/07/2007 23:17

Oh PC, I'm so sorry.

I know you loved your nan - you wrote to me about her before when she was ill.

Marina is right, you couldn't have known, there's nothing to feel guilty about. She knew you loved her.

So sorry.

Big big hugs.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2007 23:27

I loved her so much, and I can't believe she's gone.
Can't do work tomorrow, I really can't.

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Blu · 11/07/2007 00:00

No, you're right, if you can't, stay at home.
Can you spend some time with your cousin, and maybe think about how your nan would really like to be remembered, and plan a nice personal loving funeral for her?
Or just spend some time thinking of her, and how lovely and well-loved she was, and honouring her memory.

mymama · 11/07/2007 00:02

for you and your family.

LittleLupin · 11/07/2007 00:43

PinkChampagne - take the day off if you can. Remember your lovely nan. I am sure she knew how much you loved her.

Those who we truly love are always with us.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 11/07/2007 04:45

No, I won't attempt work, I would be little use to them like this.
They are apparantly doing a post mortem on her. I hate that thought, but I guess they have to do all this.
I still feel in total shock & cannot sleep.

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NAB3 · 11/07/2007 07:56

I am so sad for you as a lot of what you are going through is similar to when my Nan died. Just do whatever you want today and take it a minute at a time. Hopefully your parents will be back very soon and you can get strength and comfort from each other. I am so so sorry.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 11/07/2007 08:43

They are at sea for two days & then they are arranging a flight home. My mum's in pieces, as I knew she would be.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 11/07/2007 08:53

I've phoned in sick today

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LIZS · 11/07/2007 09:01

how sad for you to have to deal with this. We all get the "should have"s in such circumstances try not to be too harsh on yourself.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 11/07/2007 09:40

I can't shift the guilt atm. If I had phoned just two days before I planned to, I would have been able to speak to her before she died. I was going to go and see her too, but it's too late now.
Spoken to my sister this morning, and she is also not up to working today, so I am getting over to see her later.

OP posts:
butterbeer · 11/07/2007 09:50

You've had a long and loving relationship with your grandmother. You've told her you loved her on many occasions. She died already knowing everything that you might have said to her had you called a few days ago. It would have been good to have been able to say it all one last time in person, but everything you wanted to say is as real to her as if you'd actually said it. There's no need to feel guilty.

If you had spoken to her, you'd probably be feeling guilty now because you'd spent half the conversation talking about something inconsequential. Feeling guilty is perfectly normal after a death. It's what we do. But you have nothing to feel guilty for.