Just been told that my lovely nan has passed away & my parents are away on holiday

[Pinkchampagne]

They have only been gone since last Thursday, so I have to find a way to contact them to try & get them home before the funeral.
My nan had a massive stroke & I didn't know, and now she's dead. I'm in bits, I feel so guilty. I was going to phone her tonight to check she was ok, and now she's gone.[

[suezee]

jst do what is best for ur sanity at the moment, its not a decision u just want to make on a whim, and they shouldnt really be pestering u into seeing her, am so sorry for u x

[Pinkchampagne]

Thank you. I have no-one here with me right now & am in a very bad way & don't quite know what to do with myself, so talking on here is a comfort. Can't believe this has happened.

[lemonaid]

IME a dead person looks more like a waxwork of someone who's sleeping... there's no sense of a real person there.

It depends on whether you want to convince yourself that she's really gone or are all too well aware that she's gone and just want to remember her as she was when alive. There's no particular virtue in either approach -- it's what works for you. If you decide not to see her you can still change your mind right up until the funeral.

[talcy0]

for your loss x

[suezee]

awwww sweetie i really wish i could give u a hug, i really feel for you,has ur cousin left u on ur own ???

[LittleLupin]

Pinkchampagne - she wasn't alone. And she would have been looking forward to the wedding next week, so in a happy state of mind before the stroke. Try and remember the great and happy times you had with her, and DON'T beat yourself up, you are not psychic. If your mum feels terrible and says "Oh god I should have been there", what will you say to her? Say those same things to yourself.

[Cammelia]

Pinkchampagne, my grandma died when my parents were on holiday. She had been getting fairly frail and had gone to hospital for some tests - not ill and not expected to die - but she just passed away one night. My elder brother contacted my parents - they were in Malaya and they flew back straight away.

Its horrid when someone you really love dies

[Pinkchampagne]

I know, but I should have seen her before she died. I should have phoned her a couple of days ago. Just can't believe this has happened, i really can't.

Yes, cousin's only came round to drop the news then left. I have recently split from my husband & he has the boys thankfully.

[Pinkchampagne]

Thought I needed a walk, but on leaving the house I realised I couldn't walk anywhere like this. Don't know what to do with myself.

[suezee]

just sit urself down and av a brew, im really sorry i felt guilty when my bro died...i hadnt seen him in 6 months and never got a chance to say my goodbyes either...then i realised he wouldnt have wanted me to that

[Pinkchampagne]

Sorry to hear about your brother.

I don't think I can drink anything yet because I feel like I will throw up.

Just sopken to my sister. She has a card to contact my parents, which mum gave her when she went round to say bye to them.

I never got to say goodbye to nan & tell her I loved her. I did love nan so much.

[Pinkchampagne]

Can't believe she's not here anymore.

[Cammelia]

Pinkchampagne, she will always have known that you loved her
I had a very special relationship with my grandma and still love her (I think of her as my guardian angel now)

[suezee]

i know, and she will know u loved her...the most important thing is you know u loved her,i know ur feeling sick to ur stomache and u jst dont know what to do with yourself. have you got any sleepers you can take tonight as it may be a restless night for u x

[Pinkchampagne]

I know I won't sleep & don't expect to.

[suezee]

can get hold of sny night nurse or owt like that?????????or u could fone ur out of hours surgery they may give u summat x

[Pinkchampagne]

It doesn't matter if I don't sleep, I don't want to close my eyes & shut off

[suezee]

awwww i know its shit for u at the moment,ull feel better when ur mum and dad get back

[Pinkchampagne]

Sorry, I am making no sense right now. Maybe that walk would help a bit because I don't know what to do with myself. I am still feeling very shocked, i can't believe this has happened.

[suezee]

yeah go for the walk it may clear ur head a bit x thinking of u

[NAB3]

When I found out about my nan I just walked round the house and dealt with the kids on auto pilot until my husband got home. It has been just over 2 years and I still can't believe it.

[Pinkchampagne]

My sister found the card & has contacted cruise ship. My parents are at dinner, but they are going to get them to call one of us urgently.
This is just so awful. I feel so sorry for my parents to have this horrible shock on their holiday.

[lemonaid]

She knew you loved her. A walk may be a good idea -- get you out of the house and into some different surroundings, but with time to yourself and to think without being around other people.