Support For Anyone Who Loses A Parent

[Mummylin]

We offer a shoulder and compassion for those that need it.

Have not posted for a long time
It has been a very hard year
And now ds is ill and will be off school for a while
All rather tiring

One small step at a time

Hi @Cinders
I hope you can find even a small moment to recharge.

Hi everyone! I was thinking of starting a bookclub for a bit of a distraction. Anyone want to join? This is the book I was thinking of:

The Woman in the Winow

Anna Fox lives alone—a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. She spends her day drinking wine (maybe too much), watching old movies, recalling happier times . . . and spying on her neighbors.

Then the Russells move into the house across the way: a father, a mother, their teenage son. The perfect family. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble—and its shocking secrets are laid bare.

What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control? In this diabolically gripping thriller, no one—and nothing—is what it seems.

I've read that,it is really good. I could still chat about it.Just to warn you there is some loss in but there is loss in the book I'm reading and it's ok. It's not my loss and the distraction does help.

Getting up for work in less than an hour. Hoping it might help. 😬Struggling with writing my eulogy,don't know where to start or what to put in it. My brain is cotton wool.Does anybody else feel life as you know it has gone for ever? Don't feel I can turn to mum as I normally would and I'm tired of pulling up my big girl pants every day. It seems to make all this harder. The shock worse. Also I'm terrified of and convinced something will happen to my partner,children,sister and mother. Will that go?

I think you should use the eulogy as a chance to help everyone to love your dad as much as you do.

Hi. Not been on for a while. I've been going through all my Mum's boxes sorting out paperwork and photos. Its been nine weeks now. Its just so bloody hard when something happens in your day or you watch something or read something and you go to pick up the phone and call them . I'm still struggling at work. I just can't concentrate properly. I've booked a week off at the end of October . Hopefully that will help.

to all those struggling today.

I hope there is some reason for all the sadness

I hardly saw my Dad
But i so miss talking to him

And really wished i thanked for everything

Take care everyone
I think Grief is a horrible invisable friend

@Flaming I feel the same way and it seems like suddenly there are so many things I want to show him or tell him.

@Jools thanks

@Cinders My parents live 3500 mls away so I feel the same. I saw a picture that I'm using to guide me through the pain. It says "Someday, this pain will have a purpose." I'm not sure what it will be yet but I'm sure it will be something great.

Love to everyone

Got to go through the lap top for old photos for the memorial card Sun. How do you get through doing that? Is wine a good idea or not?

I think wine is always a good idea.

Hello

Have decided not to travel home to see my mum
ds has such a strange illness anxiety and more

I feel I need to just get to the end of the year

Hope everyone has an okakish day

Bi11yButton
I found it surprisingly easy to pick the photos to be honest. I already had my favourite ones so I just used those then picked a selection through the years from baby up for the wall at the funeral tea.
I did everything myself though as all my immediate family live abroad and it's just me, no siblings.
I suppose being the one to organise it all it didn't leave me much time to grieve . I was pretty numb throughout the whole thing until I saw the coffin in the chapel.

My Mum died on the 20th. Know it's early days but so struggling with how the day / week is supposed to be without her. She was a massive part of our life. Funeral was on Monday and every said it went well but there were not many people there and I can't get the image of the empty Church out of my head.

oh NWQM So sorry for your loss
It's really early days and I expect things are a bit of a blur right now.
You must be sad about not being as many people at the funeral as you hoped.
At my dad's funeral there were a few faces missing, dads 2 closest pals couldn't be there as they were abroad.
What I think matters most is the people that were there for your mum when she was alive. Stay on this thread for support♥️

I agree with Jules. The people who were there must've loved her and that's a beautiful thing even though I understand feeling disappointed.

NWQM So sorry for your recent loss

I wanted to be at my uncles, my cousins were such a support to me for my dad. I couldn’t get there, I know they understand and I’ll pay my respects. Sometimes a funeral It doesn’t mean you don’t care x

Missing a funeral doesn’t mean you don’t care even .

Thank-you all your replies. It was just such a stark sight. Our Church is large and there were only a handful. I could have kicked myself for being bothered. I am upset because I know it shouldn't matter if you see what I mean. I focused in my panic on how I'd let Mum down. We are thinking about doing something with her ashes so I can really say a personal goodbye.

NWQM
We only had 23 at my Mum's. But that was 23 people who truly cared. Numbers don't matter. Its what's in your heart.

I think it just brought home to me how different life will be now. My Mum was one of 9 and Dad one of 5. Lots of cousins around all the time as Mum only moved out of her village to be near us in the last few years. All that generation except 2 of Mum's sister-in-laws are gone now. I felt a bit overwhelmed at the loss of it all. I am thinking a lot about Dad too. I think I may have bottled that up with having to support Mum.

It's just horrible. It's 10 weeks today and it just feels worse. I just want my mum. I still haven't heard from my so called friends up here. I just want to go home but it's not home anymore. The house is gone and so is mum.

I have posted here before but probably under a different name. Both my parents are now gone. My father died when I was 25 and 3 months pregnant with my 2nd child, he was just 53 . My mum has been gone just coming up for 5 years now and I still think of her and miss her everyday. I was an only child and feel sorry for myself sometimes that there isn't anyone to reminisce about childhood of things like family Christmas and holiday times. I kept a fair bit of my parents bits and bobs ( have birth,marriage certs, photos, ornaments etc) I also have a few diaries of my mum's that even 5 years on I haven't got the emotional strength to sit down and read. A few years ago I opened one up any read the Christmas entry as we had taken her away on holiday that year and she had wrote " So if you are reading this (my name) I want you to know, I had the best Christmas ever".: It still makes my cry and not able to read her diaries (yet - I will one day).
But I want the people on here who are still relatively early days in their loss, it really does get better. Eventually the gut wrenching pain begins to lessen, and your memories of the good times can turn a smile instead of bring on the tears. I am a firm believer that live does go on, but in a different way . We carry our loved ones with us in our hearts.

Just found this thread. I lost my DM on 16/5. I did post in terminal illness at the time and got some lovely replies that really made me feel better at the time.
I was with DM when she passed and shed a few silent tears but then I had to throw myself into everything that comes afterwards as everyone else around me fell apart. Her funeral was, of course hard but I still didn’t fall apart like I expected. It still hasn’t come and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. My DS keeps me going when ever I feel a little wobble coming on and I’ve just found I’m pregnant again and my due date is a couple of days before the anniversary of mums death. I have, many times, picked up my phone to call her and I still talk about her in the presence tense.

I’m so very sorry for everyone on this thread. Losing a parent is so painful no matter what your age or the circumstances