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Original poster

My DH has died in a car crash today.

437 replies

Iwant2move · 01/12/2017 00:23

Is anyone up?

I can’t sleep.

My husband was killed in a car crash today.

We’d just moved house and he was so happy.

OP posts:
AvoidingDM · 01/12/2017 00:45

Not disrespectful at all. If you want him to go in a t-shirt then why not. Xx

sandgrown · 01/12/2017 00:45

So sorry to hear your sad news. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Hopefully your friend will come soon to support you both. Thinking of you and your family Flowers

HottySnanky · 01/12/2017 00:46

Not disrespectful to dress him in his favourite band's t-shirt if you know he would want that.

I can't imagine how you are feeling right now but please know that whatever you are feeling, it is ok to feel that.

Orangebird69 · 01/12/2017 00:46

The tshirt is a great idea. I called my nephews favourite football team and they donated a football strip for him to be buried in.

hellsbells99 · 01/12/2017 00:46

So sorry Op Flowers

anothernetter · 01/12/2017 00:46

I'm so very sorry for your loss Flowers

BoreOfWhabylon · 01/12/2017 00:46

Oh I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.

And no, the t shirt will not be in the least disrespectful.

karmacoma1 · 01/12/2017 00:47

The t shirt sounds like a beautiful tribute for him.

MercianQueen · 01/12/2017 00:47

I think a heavy metal t-shirt would be perfect. But there is time for that. A friend of mine lost a very close family member in a road accident, and the road safety charity Brake were incredibly supportive. I will dig their details out. Strong hand hold for you x

underthebluemoon · 01/12/2017 00:49

I'm so sorry. Flowers

Chrys2017 · 01/12/2017 00:51

So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you and your children must be going through.

I don't think what you suggested would be disrespectful at all. Who were his favourite band?

CommanderDaisy · 01/12/2017 00:51

I am so sorry . I can't express how I feel for you, that is just - beyond awful.
And.
Absolutely not re the t-shirt.
My best friend was buried in his favourite band t-shirt with his favourite flannel shirt, and Balinese fishermans pants. How he was most happily dressed. His favourite song , a very loud punk band - was played at his funeral. That was who he was, and I believe it would've been disrespectful to him, to dress him any other way. His wife stood firm in the face of requests for suits etc from others, and religious songs etc for appearances sake.

Go with what he loved for his final journey, not with what anyone expects for "propriety". You knew him best.

Much love and great sorrow from Australia. xxxxx

BrevilleTron · 01/12/2017 00:51

So sorry. Nothing anyone can say will get anywhere near just how awful it feels. Please try and look after yourself as much as you can even though it's the last thing you feel like doing. Fluids and sleep are important as they will help you face the horrible reality when it hits. It's not okay and your world has shattered. And it's not fair. If I could make you a tea and wrap a blanket round you right now I would. I hope you have some beautiful memories of your time together and how he changed your life and became a dad to your children together.

I've probably said all the wrong things here but I'm genuinely thinking about you and it's meant with kindness.

southboundagain · 01/12/2017 00:52

I'm so sorry. I also agree that the T-shirt wouldn't be disrespectful at all.

If you feel like it would help to talk to someone, I've phoned the Samaritans before just to talk to someone when it's been 3am and I wasn't sure I could talk to anyone else (you don't need to be experiencing mental health problems, they'll just listen to you about anything on your mind).

ChishandFips33 · 01/12/2017 00:53

No words to hand to comfort you but wanted to offer my thoughts Flowers

Don't hold it in in front of your son though; cry and get angry together so that he lets out his grief too.

Take up all offers of help and dress your DH how you want to. His music would be welcome at a service too

ButterfliesandMoths · 01/12/2017 00:54

Sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts Thanks

Oxcheeks · 01/12/2017 00:54

Iwant, I really don't have any words that could make you feel better. I lost my Mum this year and I know it's very different to losing your husband, however I think I have a somewhat of an understanding of your grief, however the advice I was given was cry, grieve, have your family around you, cry more (I found wine and gin was comforting at the time - it's not everyone's thing tho) I'm so very sorry for your loss 💔

Shinesweetfreedom · 01/12/2017 00:54

Dear God no.I am in shock for you,and you sure as hell must be.
I am sorry.

mumisnotmyname · 01/12/2017 00:55

I am so sorry, I was shocked reading it and I cannot imagine living it.

Regards the t-shirt, you need to focus on what I'd right for you and the family not other people's expectations.

Twitchingdog · 01/12/2017 00:56

I am really sorry to here .

Migraleve · 01/12/2017 00:56

I am so very sorryThanks

Katedotness1963 · 01/12/2017 00:56

I'm so sorry.

StarWarsFanatic · 01/12/2017 00:58

I am so sorry for your loss.

The t-shirt would be a lovely gesture, I would want to be buried in my favourite Iron Maiden t-shirt. If you wanted you could put a jacket over it but I think it would be good either way.

Don't be ashamed of your grief, it is perfectly normal. Everyone reacts differently, there is no right way to deal with this.

CrypticClues · 01/12/2017 00:58

I'm so sorry... thinking of you, and your children Sad

MummaTwinkleToes · 01/12/2017 00:58

Oh my love I’m so sorry for your loss. Get your friend round and let her hold you tight. Don’t be scared to cry or ask for support Flowers

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