Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

Hi how is e everyone doing? We.went to our towns light switch on where the vicar said he hoped the lights would bring comfort to those who had lost loved ones.Today we got mum a Xmas tree for her front garden which Dad always did for her.we then took her for coffee at the garden centre.I felt sad watching her looking at the decorations.She loved Christmas but coping with less money and without Dad must be very hard even though she claims she is OK.I've got a feeling the next few weeks will be tough as works gets silly around about now.I'm reading hour posts though some eves I'm too tired to write anything as it is so late.

whatis our mums are being very brave arnt they. I dont think my mum can bring herself to get the Xmas decs from the loft, but she bought a mini Xmas tree last week and now has a candle too, she's trying bless her.
She hasn't got rid of any of dads clothes yet. They are all still hanging in his wardrobe. I guess there's no hurry, it's going to be a heart breaking task but one that I think she will want to do alone.
I just want him to walk through the door. When I ring mums doorbell I still imagine dad opening the door

Almost six months since my dad lost consciousness and never woke up. Feeling sad as Christmas approaches, he was always the life and soul of any party / family gathering. Haven't had the heart to put up a Christmas tree yet

spidereye It's so hard isn't it. I just want Xmas to be over.
My friend who lost her dad 18 months ago, said that we have to carry on and imagine our dads looking down on us. Our dads wouldn't want us to have a miserable Xmas. I know my dad would love to see us all happy. Doesn't make it any easier tho.

I’m with you all that Christmas is a terrible time. I feel I’m being dragged along by my kids but I have no enthusiasm for it. I’m having a tough time at work too and really wish I could bury my head in the sand.
I sing in a choir and we did a Christmas concert yesterday. I felt as though I was singing to my Dad. I miss him so very much and the pain doesn’t go away.

Hello everyone. It's been over two months since dad died and whilst things are getting easier, I'm still finding life hard without him. I just want to phone him. I miss him so much. The last few years of his life were so difficult and turbulent but I remained very close to him.

Although I'm not crying every day anymore and I don't feel as low I still think of dad and how he died all the time. I honestly found the whole experience very traumatic. I'm not sure how to deal with it. No one else that I talk to understands.

Hi everyone, not much to say at the moment as the family is reeling from my sis in laws dd death. She is an adult but of course that makes no difference to sis in law. It's so awful for her siblings, parents and indeed her own children. Funeral isn't until 15th.
It will indeed be a very sad Xmas for so many families facing the first celebration without a loved one. But it helps if you have other family around and can help you through the day. 💐

So sorry to hear about this young woman.

So sorry to hear this mummylin x

mummylin that's so sad

Oh mummylin that is so sad. Thinking of you and all her family as Christmas approaches. It must be a difficult time of year to lose someone (not that there's ever a 'good time').

Thanks for all your thoughts. My sis in law and brother in law will be broken by this. They are both getting on now and not in good health. It's all so sad for them all.

I am feeling awful. 2 nights ago we went for a big Xmas meal as my sibling was visting my mum as they won't meet up over Xmas (4 hr drive away)
There was 10 family members and we had a lovely meal and back to DD house for coffee. We were all in good spirits and lots of laughter and banter going on.
The reason I feel bad is that I suddenly thought about dad and how he would love to have been amongst his family. We should have a least toasted his memory or something. I feel I've somehow let him down by enjoying myself

Hi Jools. In a way your dad was with you. You and your sibling carry his genes, therefore if you are somewhere , then so is he. You must not feel guilty about enjoying yourself. Your dad would be so happy for you that you are getting on with life. 💐

Please can I join? My dad died 7/12/17 following a very difficult 15 months health wise. The last 6 months have been unbearable at times and we had already lost the man I knew as my dad as the cancer progressed and he lost all quality of life. We did have peace at the end of his life though due to the excellent care he received in the hospice.

I just feel so empty and feel like I'm watching other people carry on with their lives preparing for Christmas and having fun. I've said to my dh that Christmas is going to be something for everyone else this year and not us, but we do have to celebrate for the sake of the children as I know that's what my dad would want. The children were the light of his life so I need to make the effort for them whilst trying to support my mom. Such tough times.

Lost mum near end of 2016. Autopilot/Sleepwalked through Christmas for my dd's sake. My birthday was just after and that really got to me. That was our private day, if you see what I mean.
I have made 2017 our year of doing exciting things to "make up" for the tough year dd had inevitably because I was focusing on my poorly mum.
It doesn't stop the pain but I know it's what Mum wanted.

Hello George so sorry you have had to join us here. It is tough to see all the happy families going about their Christmas shopping at the time of the year when you have just had such a sad loss, and so very recent too. I am glad that you were all able to have peace at the end of your dad's life. I think hospices are wonderful places. I have no doubt that for your children's sake,s you will plaster on a big smile etc on Christmas Day, but inside you will be so upset. With others around you. You will be ok whilst you are with your children. I expect at some point there may be a few tears, but this is to be expected and normal. I hope you have good RL support, it's invaluable. 💐

Hi Shhh. Good to see that you have carried on doing things with your own child that you know would of pleased your mum. That is a lovely thing to do.i hope you can continue this in 2018 too.
I'm sure your mum would be very proud of the way you conducted yourself after your sad loss. It can be a very tough time, so you did very well. And yes I understand about your birthday completely. 💐

Mummylin, thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry to hear about your sil's daughter - it's so awful to lose a child whatever their age. I work in palliative care / hospice care so it was so reassuring to be on the receiving end of that care. The hospice has been our lifeline throughout the past 6 months.

Thank you Mummylin.

So sorry for your loss Gearge I'm a few months ahead of a very similar journey.myguidejools please don't feel guilty for enjoying yourself.I'm sure your Dad would want you to be happy.My DM has been struggling....siblings have kept away.and she has no plan to do Christmas which isn't unusual I guess expect she always went all out even buying food in November to see if it was good enough for the big day.she wants to spend it alone. Not with the family who have invited her.I have put a special bauble on my tree for Dad.Things are getting harder with the Christmas pressure of work and Christmas everywhere I turn. My thoughts are with you all xx

whatis It's horrible isn't it. I feel sad for my mum. She tries hard but I can see the sadness, it just weighs her down. It's very early days tho and Xmas definitely doesn't help! All we can do is be there for them I guess.
george I know how you feel. I'm 3 months down the line after a very similar story. It's hard

Just to let you know that funeral went as well as expected yesterday. The hall was packed and lots of people had to stand at the back. It was all very sad.

Thank you for letting us know, Mummylin.

mummylin ⚘⚘