Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

Glad you are feeling better mummy Lin I had that cold and lost my voice.Hopefully we can all let off steam here and share stories over December as it will be difficult for us and especially our remaining parents.I think I I've fully embraced the fact Dad has died.I know waves of grief will still hit me like they did the other week.

I think my dh would tell you, I didn't lose my voice ! Cold is nearly gone, still have the irritating cough but it's a lot better and chest is a lot clearer thank god. It's my own fault I should of gone to the doc earlier ! Another day or two and I think I will be back to normal and hopefully back to myself, I have just been so tired when I have been kept awake by bloody cough.but all will soon be back to normal !
All in my thoughts, this is a horrible time of the year when you look around all the shoppers with their families, and certainly the first year is the absolute worst. Thinking of you all 💐

I’m glad your feeling better mummylin. I feel very mixed about Christmas. It will be incredibly sad that Dad is not here, the week before Christmas will mark 6 months since he died. But at the same time my Dad loved Christmas so much that I am determined to enjoy it in his memory. And my 6 and 2 year old will expect Christmas to go on as normal!!

I know this will be a sad Christmas without your dad being here. But if he had any little tradition He liked to do each year, try and carry it on. I always put an old Christmas card up which mum has previously sent me. I do the same when my birthday comes around. It's so lovely to still see a card up that says " to my dear daughter " .
Your children are young and they move on very quickly, rightly so, we wouldn't want them to be sad for a long time.
But your children actually will help you through the day.
Raise a drink and toast your dad, but also relax and enjoy the day with your family around you. That's what your dad would want for you I'm sure. 💐

I agree mummylin my dad loved Xmas and it will be really strange and sad not to have him here. It's makes me feel a bit panicky really. But dad would want us all to be together as a family to celebrate Xmas so that's what we will do.
Doesn't mean I'm not dreading it tho!

Maybe there will be a few tears Jools but that is to be expected at some point. But you will dry your eyes and get on with the day. It is amazing how strong we can be when we need to be. Just think back with happy memories of Christmas times and happiness from the past. I am sure you will have a little smile !

Hi everyone, just popping in to see how you are all doing. This is a horrible time o& the year when you are missing someone. But you will all be ok. 💐💐

mummylin thankyou
I'm not dreading Xmas quite so much as I was a few weeks ago. It's obviously not going to be great but dad wouldn't want us moping around. I'm trying to live by what he would want.
When he was in hospital he use to hate us 'wasting our time' visiting him. He would always want us to go for lunch or go treat ourselves. He really was a kind man.
Mum has decided to do a little bit of Xmas shopping which is a positive move too.
We've got dad's inquest coming up. Not sure what to expect from that really.

I don't know how to talk about Dad anymore so I've stopped posting here but all the posters have been so lovely and supportive to me and I just wanted you to know I still read and you're all in my thoughts

This is going to be a tough week for me as it’s my birthday on Wednesday. As my parents don’t/didn’t live anywhere near me it’s not as though I would have seen Dad on my birthday but he used to arrange cards and presents. This year I’ve bought myself presents for my Mum to give me and gave them to her to wrap which isn’t the same at all. I’m really missing my Dad and life in general feels a bit crap.

alibaba I seem to be in the same position as you, my dad passed in September, his birthday was October and mine was yesterday. Yes it has been painful but I surrounded myself with my son and husband and we remembered Dad but celebrated the day anyway. Make sure you have something nice for yourself as a way of marking the day, your dad is gone but your birthday is still important!

troubled please don't stop posting. I lost my dad in September (we've been on the same threads)
I've not had to cope with any birthdays yet but this time last year dad and I would have been planning all the Xmas food and secret pressies for mum. I feel lost and sad this year. Dh isn't really a fan of Xmas so he used to just let me and dad get on with it.
Now it's all so flat and I can't be bothered really.

**Troubled Happy Birthday for Saturday. I’m working on my birthday and out in the evening but I will try to enjoy it. My kids are excited for me and at least I know I’ll like my presents as I chose them!
**myguide I haven’t done anything for Christmas yet either. I would normally have done all the cards by now. My mum is looking forward to me picking her up to bring her to ours though but it won’t be the same.

The coming few weeks will be a mixture of everything emotional. You will have happy and sad memories of the parent you have lost. This is all quite normal and even though you are probably dreading Christmas this year, you will get through it. It certainly helps having other people around you. I hope you will all find something to celebrate on the day. 🌹

hi mummylin, I haven't been here for a while, its nice to see you are still supporting those of us who need it on this thread. Are you ready for Christmas yet? I cant get into it this year which isnt like me. I just feel a bit tired of it all. I hope you are feeling a bit better now but it comes and goes, doesn't it x

hi to everyone else here too, I havent read up on the thread lately but I will read and catch up with everyones stories, its a sad thread to be on but you will get lots of support here x

I lost my DF in October and now have a close relative who has suffered a brain haemorrhage. So life is feeling really bleak and I keep feeling sick, churning stomach and as though I can’t catch my breath. But I just wanted to say to everyone on this thread that you’re all in my thoughts and prayers. Your kind words of support have been a great help to me.

Retreat.my heart goes out to you.I have no idea how it will be this year.Mum hasn't said what she is doing and my sister has moved house so I'm not sure if she is going to theirs as they usually spend the day together.Love to all on her as some of us are facing this for the first time.

Hi ssd things haven't been too good my end with one thing and another and on Sunday one of my adult nieces died, it's so sad for her family. Hope things are going ok for you. Have you heard from your siblings at all ? 💐
retreat you have my utmost sympathy, not one thing to cope with but now another devastating blow. I don't know how some families seem to get such a lot of bad things happen, but some get nothing. I hope your relative has a good outcome.💐
whatis yes this is the first for a few of you and I have to say it will be a bitter sweet day. But hopefully having other family around will help to take a lot of the sadness away. I hope your mum will be ok. 💐

My mum died 2 days ago. Not sure how I feel. Very very tired. Sad and relieved at the same time. She had very advanced Alzheimers.

Hello MOT I'm am sorry you are facing this terribly sad time. It sort of knocks you for six dosent. I lost an adult niece at the weekend and we have all known for a long while it would end like this, but it still came as such a sad shock.
I hope you have good friends and family around to help you. It really does lift your spirits when others rally around at this time,
For now, just get through each day as it comes along, that's enough to cope with in these very early days.
Somehow, at this time of year it seems so poignant, everyone rushing around buying gifts etc. No denying it hurts.
Do take care, make sure you eat, little and often if you can't face a big meal.
Always someone here to chat when you need 💐

Thanks Mummylin. It hurts, even when you know its coming. She hadn't really been "my mum" for a long time, but its still hard, and everyone getting ready for Christmas - I feel detached from it. My adult children will be home for Christmas and I'll need to make it happy for them. Wavering between not able to eat at all and then a whole packet of mince pies..... death certificate tomorrow, doing one thing a day.

MOT it's tough, especially this time of year. My dear dad died in September and I'm still struggling most days. We have his inquest this week so I'm nervous about that but feel I should go.
Just take things one day at a time x

MOT if you are finding it tough to eat , try having little bits , but often. Maybe some soup and bread if you can't face a full meal.

oh mummylin, I'm so sorry to read that! How awful for her family and for all of you . I briefly seen my siblings for a few hours, things still the same there. I'm sorry I'm not on here as much now, sometimes it brings it all back too much, I admire you for the support you always give here, its so invaluable.

I'm so sorry to all the other posters with recent and not so recent losses, its just so sad and raw, I know

MOT my mum died on the 17th and like yours she had been ill for some time. She was 92, very frail with respiratory failure. I felt incredibly sad for the week leading up to her death, and felt as though I was grieving for her then. The relief that she was out of pain was immense.