Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

Thanks Rain you are correct in saying I see a lot of her. Yes I saw her every day nearly until she had down to return to work after her maternity leave. In fact her baby crawled here first ! And I am very close to him too.

Mummylin I'm thinking of you and your losses at this time, anniversaries are very hard. I hope you've got rl support?
I know how it feels when the people you think will be there to support you aren't, my brother and sister have just carried on with their lives asif nothing has happened. I know they weren't as close to him as I was but for fuck sakes he was so generous to them and always nice. How could they get over it so easily?
My neighbour and her son are very good friends of mine and are my rock and strength right now. Life is a strange old bugger! headbacc your sister and her children have behaved abhorrently, I'm so sorry

I'm so pleased.you.are.close.to.your niece mummylin.She must.bring you huge comfort.
I wonder Trouble if the grief hasn't hit your siblings yet.I was.going about my days normally and helping DM.when boom.last Fri.I was sobbing about Df who died six weeks ago.I thought it was.because I had had some wine.Then yesterday.I woke up feeling the same.Like a bolt from the blue.pining for him and thinking how dreadful his death.was.
I must admit I hate winter and do feel a bit.under the weather.I have no one in real life to lift my spirits.even my work colleagues.act.like nothing happened.I will see what.some.sleep.and reflection.does today.as.its my day.off.love to all on here.

whatis I have days when I can function normally then the next one I can be an absolute wreck. How has today been?

It will be our first "first" this weekend as it would have been my parents' wedding anniversary We will be visiting my DM on the day but not sure how we should mark it. My DF hated fuss so would probably want us to carry on as if it was a normal day but I feel I should do something. Was thinking about getting DM some flowers, as I always got them flowers for their anniversary, but I don't know if that is the right thing to do.

I would still buy the flowers or it will seem as if you haven't noticed the date.How about a rose bush that your DM can plant in the garden or something similar?.
I must felt exhausted and achey today...not my usual buzzing self.If it continues I will call the gp as I was under them for anxiety before df died.

My Dad gets a lot of comfort from his rose bushes. It is a lovely idea.

My brother bought me a beautiful rose bush when our mum died. It was from David Austin and the rose had same name as my mum ! Maybe there is one with your dad's name that your mum would like .

Good call on the rose bush.
We have bought one to put in a pot with dad's ashes. There are lots of lovely roses out there with very apt names.

For anyone interested.

Roses here

The flowers on the link are beautiful Mummylin I'm more of an Interflora budget kind of gal
whatis unfortunately my brother and sister just don't feel anything now the funeral is over. It's just a case of 'Tribbles dad is dead, how sad. Football's on this weekend isn't it?' Iyswim. 6 weeks is no time at all x

My dads autopsy report arrived on Monday morning this week and I wasn't expecting it. We didn't find him for 4 days after he passed even though we lived next to each other because he had PTSD and needed his space, the details of that report are playing on my mind and I'm seeing images that I could really do without. My dad cut his own fringe just a few weeks back and told everyone it was me! Cheeky git. He cut it straight across and left it an inch long, I used to trim his hair for him and it was beautiful, 52 and not a touch of grey. I'm not feeling very good today, I get up and put my fighting face on but inside I'm jelly, I might just stay in bed. I hope you're all having brilliant days and the weather is good.

Sorry you feel so down Tribble I quite understand. I feel a bit like that today, thinking back about my sister. ( she was my birthday present as she was born on my birthday ). Just thinking back to happier times, as we all do.
One day ! You will look back and laugh about your dad's haircut. Very sad for you and your dad, he was very young. 💐

I haven’t posted for a while. It’s been 4 months since my Dad died. I thought I was doing ok, life has returned to ‘normal’ and I have been managing to function as a wife, Mummy, daughter and working 3 days a week. But for the past few weeks I’ve begun to really struggle. I resent life being normal and have lost all interest in my job and am struggling to balance work and life. Is this normal? I’ve started crying again and miss my Dad so much that it hurts.

It sounds really normal. The new normal.

It is still very early days little you will establish a new normal, but it takes a while to get to it. Just get through each day as best you can. Eventually you will be a lot stronger to deal with it all. 💐

Sorry my post should of been addressed to Alibaba

3 years ago we were still hoping my mum was coming home from hospital, she was improving, every day we saw her get better. Then we we were told she wasn't and they had done everything they could.
After all this time I thought it would be easier but I miss her more than ever. She was my best friend and far too young at 65.
Just having a day and have had a wine, sorry

Hi Sparky that is so sad that your hopes were dashed in such a terrible way. Yes that is far too young for your mum to of lost her life. It dosent matter how long ago it was, you feel as you feel. You had a great loss so of course there will always be times when your emotions come to the surface. You say you were so close to your mum, remember this, " The price of love is grief "
My mum has been gone six years this week and I too miss her terribly, miss her popping in for a cuppa, making me a cake, the phone calls , just everything. I loved her then and I love her now, as you do your mum 💐

Thank you Mummylin for your kind words. I know you're right and today I felt a bit better, but it's always the case that if I think about her too much, I just feel the emotions rising.
I suppose it always will be a bit like that. Xx

Alibaba I'm sending you a hug.I felt the same intact I was doing OK to start with and could see Dad wanted to die he told us all.His death was unpleasant to say the least so it is only now I suddenly feel very upset and a deep sadness that I will never see him again.I may see the Gp next week as I've had anxiety and depression so I don't want grief making it worse iyswim.
I used to see my parents every week as they live nearby and Dad always had great sensible advice on most of life situations.
I guess it is early days for us.

Thank you whatisforteamum, yes I used to go to Dad with my life problems however big or small, even though I’m in my 30’s! I still get upset when things happen good or bad and I have no one to tell. I can’t talk to my mum in the same way, especially as she is undergoing investigation for dementia so I have worries about her too.
I have suffered depression throughout my life although I’ve only been given medication once. I don’t really want to go back to my GP although being signed off sick does appeal right now!

for everyone suffering today.
I'm missing my dad so much today (he died 8 weeks ago) weekends seem worse somehow, although I saw him every day.
I've just been reading through our text messages to each other
We had no clue that last Xmas was his last. He was so full of life then. Breaks my heart......

My father died on Saturday morning. He was the kind of man who could fill a room with the positivity he radiated. He was the most interested, kind, intelligent, caring, open-minded, optimistic person I've ever met. Everyone who met him liked him. I can't imagine life without him. I keep bursting into tears and know I ought to hold it together for or at least in front of my 3 kids (aged 11-17), but I just can't.

I can't imagine it ever being OK to not have him in the world. He was my best friend, my hero and more interested in me than I was in myself.

Feeling for everyone else here grieving for their loved ones.

Oh bluehair I'm so sorry for your loss.Myguide we.are.at.the same point.Dad died a few days after yours.This time of year drags me down.so I feel.worse.now than when he died.It feels raw then I'm OK again.Such a shame you didn't know.last.Christmas was his last.Dad thought two ago was.his last.and burst out crying on Christmas day.At least we had last times as he was I'll for years.It still seems weird we will NEVER see such a lovely caring man again.love.to.all on here.xx

whatisfortea ⚘I don't think this time of year does us any favours, dad lived Xmas so much. He was a right excited kid bless him! Any thoughts on how you are spending Xmas this year? Mum isn't buying presents or making Xmas puds which I totally respect. But dad wouldn't want us not to celebrate. It's a tough call.
bluehair I'm so sorry you've had to join this club⚘ Be kind to yourself. It's very early days, you are allowed to cry! I'm 8 weeks or so down the line and I still cry.
Keep posting here if it helps.