Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

Do you live in the USA littleho ?

I love the purple and the black roses.

Those talking about saving things to a USB, I've got a short video of dad on my phone. Is there a way I can save it anywhere? I'm due a new phone soon and would hate to lose it.
Thank you ⚘

MyGuideJools Try e mailing the recording to yourself as an attachment (depending on the size) or .... transfer it to a memory card and plug card into computer to copy it.

I think it helps a bit to have these memories and flowers. People really have no idea what losing a parent is like until they go through it themselves. Any little memory suddenly becomes very precious.

(No I don't live in the USA Just found it by searching. )

Sorry to everyone struggling.I just started a new thread however I've coped better than I thought I would as I've been super busy and helping DM.Today I felt tearful as it is my day off and crap weather.I just found out I'm expected to work Xmas day.Now I'm not a madly Xmas person however I can't imagine rushing off to work and feeding families so soon after my lovely df died!! Don't get me wrong I love working I'm just worrying how I will cope.Besides it is our busiest time of year.

The music always gets me even when DM and df had cancer it was hard enough.

whatisforteamum that sucks that you have to work Xmas day. I'm assuming hospitality as you mentioned feeding families. That's a tough one having to be cheerful when you feel far from it.
The last couple of years I have worked Xmas day but have annual leave this year. It would have been so nice to spend it with dad........

Those roses are beautiful! Will working Christmas day preoccupy your thoughts at all whatsfor ? I usually stay home and cook dinner with Dad whilst son plays with my husband, Dad makes a wonderful gravy :) but I can't face our Christmas without my dad so we're going to the in-laws. X

troubled my dad and I were always in the kitchen at Xmas. He also always made the gravy! and set the Xmas pud alight with brandy. I honestly don't know how I'm going to face Xmas without him.

Yes maybe I should think of it as a good thing.I just feel a bit down today.Once I'm at work I'm happy though.I'm going to think of it as a positive change.

I've got the option of working a night shift on new years Eve, I'm thinking it might be a good call as I definitely don't want to be saying "happy new year" to everyone and partying.
I think mum will probably go to bed at 10 & let it pass her by.

That sounds like a plan myguide.One good thing about shift work is sometimes we miss things that we would rather avoid don't we.I'm not so worried about new year as Mum and Dad hated it all.I just felt sad today seeing all the decorations in the shops and DM wants a new tree for obvious reasons.I can't imagine the pain for her after 54 mainly happy Xmas s with Dad.she is coping so well it just breaks my heart to think of her now.my siblings haven't bothered so much now dad has gone.

whatisforteamum I get you! My mum is being so brave. She makes herself go out every day and has bought a few new things but she must be so lonely. I can't imagine that she wants to get all the Xmas Decs from the loft. It breaks my heart.
My Bro lives 4 hours away so I know he cant just pop and see her but he only phones her once a week, just like he did when dad was here. I make sure I see mum every day

Good to see that you are all trying to be so positive and making plans so that Christmas, although it will be bitter sweet, will be as good as possible under the circumstances.
Well this is the week I dread, two anniversary's in 4 days. Mum and my sister. It's always so sad, but it will pass. Will go and see to their graves this afternoon as it appears it's my job ! No-one else goes apart from the special dates. 💐

mummylin

Thinking of you Mummylin

Thinking of you mummylin

Mummylin thinking of you during this hard week ahead. Anniversaries are very difficult to deal with.

We buried my Mum's ashes on Friday. The service was lovely, the weather was sunny and warm (for October) and it was so calm that I was even able to light a candle for her at the graveside. But what made the day even harder for me than it already was, was the fact that my DSis's two (grown up) children totally blanked me. I fell out with their mother last year after our mum died (for reasons totally unconnected to mum) and they chose to take her side and haven't contacted me since. But to be ignored at the burial was hurtful. I then discovered that my DSis had arranged for all the family to get together that night for a meal and general catch-up because my DB was visiting from USA. I wasn't invited. Sitting here now feeling so low, it feels like I've lost almost my entire family.

Mummylin so hard for you xx

This time 6 years ago my heart was truly broken. I can't believe my mum just left us so unexpectedly.

"Mum I miss you so much, always in my heart " 💔 xxx

⚘⚘mummylin thinking about you. Would you like to tell us all about your lovely mum?
(Please don't feel obliged if it's too painful)

Thank you Jools I am not too bad today but I now have to get through Thursday ( my sisters anniversary ) but that one is easier to cope with as it's been a lot of years now. But I will tell you about her. She was 26 yrs old and expecting her second baby. She had a massive asthma attack and could not be saved, in the preceding months she had the same thing and was on a life support system, but somehow they managed to get her through it. So eventually she came home, became pregnant and then the last fatal attack. Her dd was 2 yrs old at the time. My niece is now marrie, and has a one year old little boy. She has no memories of her mum at all, but I have to say she looks just like my sister. I see a lot of her and the baby which I'm sure my sister would be happy about. I had so many people said to me that they didn't know you could die from Asthma, but there are quite a lot of deaths per year. She didn't develope it until she was in her teens, then she became allergic to so many things. Grass, trees,flowers and even different foods. I would say that the last year of her life was so horrible for her, in and out of hospital, having to leave her little dd etc. But we still speak about her often, and tell niece things about her so she at least knows something about her mum. As I said it's a long time ago now and it's now longer she has been dead than she was alive. She would now be 54.

mummylin that's so sad. But how lovely that you keep her memory alive for her Dd and grandchild.
I had a friend at school (many years ago!) That died from asthma. She was always so poorly.
🌷

Mummylin, I hope Thursday is OK for you.

I'm struggling to have patience with what I now consider be rubbish friends.
I've recently been contacted by a friend I haven't heard from in over a year. That wouldn't usually be unusual for us, but she knew my parent was dying, and sent a text when she heard they'd died. Then nothing for over a year.
She's lost a parent, so knows what it's like, and we spoke more frequently around that time. I don't do point scoring in friendships, it's not my thing, but I feel this pushes the definition of a friend.

But I'm wondering if this is grief talking rather than me.
Have other people felt like this. If I continue my friendship cull to people I consider give a damn (and my standards weren't high, a phone call or two, text or card was evidence) I'll have a significantly smaller number of friends.
But don't feel I'd mind. Feels more like culling dead wood.

Will "nice me," who is more tolerant, come back,? I can't say I miss her.

Hi Not This is a very common thing and lots of us have experienced this kind of thing. People who you think will support and be there for you, suddenly aren't. I myself had this with one of my neighbours who had known my mum for years. Not even a " sorry about your mum " just zilch. That was six years ago now and haven't spoken to them since. I was really hurt by this.
Maybe it is a way to cull our lives of people who aren't necessary in our lives 💐

Mummylin, thinking of you this week It's great that it sounds as though you're so close to to your niece. I'm sure your sister (and mum), would be pleased.