Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

I lost my dad ten years ago through a brain tumour then my grandad two year later and lost my little brother this year aged 28 ...I'm beginning to get used to losing people xx

Lashes, I’m really sad for you to have had such loss in your life. I hope that life brings you kinder times.💐

Thank you ..I'm hoping that things will get better ..I'm just learning to live with it but not forget xx

I understand losing a sibling lashes I lost my sister when she was 26 and expecting her second baby. It was a terrible shock and seems so cruel. Her anniversary is looming and so is my mums ( by date only three days between them ) so you have my sympathy for your loss. And 8 weeks before my sister died my lovely grandad died , there was hardly anytime to grieve for him as then we were hit by my sisters death. Somehow though we get through these very sad times. But I can’t help wondering what she would be like now. Her dd who was two at the time had her first baby last year, my sister would of been so proud. To everyone feeling so sad 💐

Oh Mummylin you have been through the mill.I am so sorry.This week has been the hardest for me tbh
It was one month since df died and my dh was away a couple of days
Mum collected dfs ashes that she was to scatter alone.He is to have no headstone.so far I've been coping well and looking after DM.
Only now do I realise no one cares or asked how I'm coping.Dh and I have been distant for ages so he has been helping with chores but no emotional support.I have no friends either...more acquaintance's.I changed jobs too so only one person there really knows me.
Just being self indulgent sorry.I hope in can find RL support as.df.was.my man with the sensible advice and I miss that.

Hi Whatisforteamum, I’m sorry about your DF. I can completely understand how hard things are having lost my dad this week. We have just arranged the funeral and it’s beyond belief that my darling dad isn’t here anymore. My DH has been supportive but our relationship isn’t where I want it to be as we have disabled DCs who take every bit of emotional and physical energy, let alone having the resilience to cope with my grief. Like you, I too don’t have any friends in RL and I feel so alone. I’m on autopilot trying to be strong for everyone else. Sorry to unload my woes, but I wanted you to know you’re not on your own. Take care of yourself, you’re in my thoughts.🌸

Retreat I'm sorry about your df was his passing expected ??im glad you shared your story as my lovely Dad used to say there is always someone worse off than you when we complained as kids.i felt OK to begin with now I miss him and feel low in general ,I'm working 13 hours today so little time to make friends it's worse for mum though she has lost her friend of 54 years.

Whatis, My parents were together for a similar time. It’s a whole lifetime, isn’t it? My wonderful dad had cancer and his suffering was unbearable. Whilst we didn’t want to see him in pain any longer, we just want him back so much. Yesterday i had an overwhelming sense of sadness and my heart literally ached for him. I’ve started to think about my eulogy but I cannot even begin to put into words what my dad meant to me and my family. I am trying hard to be strong for my DCs.
How is your mum coping? Mine seems so lost.

⚘⚘to everyone suffering. My parents were married 52 years and together 4 years before that. Mum just looks so lost and like retreat said, my heart just aches for dad. We have to decide what to do with the Ashes but I can't think about it right now.
My dad knew he didn't have long left and all he was worried about was leaving mum it breaks my heart.

You are all in my thoughts this weekend. You will find the strength to get through this. But you need support , lots of it, and time. 💐💐💐

My parents were married over 60 years, it would have been their wedding anniversary next month Which is going to be made even harder as it is my anniversary a couple of days beforehand. It seemed such a good idea at the time to get married with a similar date as it is also close to DH's birthday so it was a link to both families but now it will always be tinged with sadness.

I am worried by my DM as she has been determined to cope on her own and she seems to have put her grief on hold. I think she has also been impacted by the fact that DF had been ill for so long with combination of cancer and dementia (because one awful illness wasn't enough ) that the last couple of years in particular had taken its toll on her as well. I am worried she will fall apart after the funeral.

I hope you don’t mind, I’ve read this thread a lot over the past year but never posted. to everyone going through hard times.

This week it is 1 year since my dad died, although it still feels the same as the first day. Before this I would have thought that after a year you’d feel better, I was very wrong! I guess people properly think I’m fine because I got back to work etc. very quickly and I’ve tried to carry on as normal. I keep thinking about the actual day - I feel like there should be some grand gesture or I should do something. Like the whole world should stop because don’t they know this is the day my lovely dad passed away?! In reality I’ll go to work as normal and nothing will happen. I also think no one (other than family) is going to remember, and it’s going to hurt a lot .

Sorry for the self-indulgent ramble - thinking of everyone over this week.

Hi Spencer it to s nearly six years for me , and each anniversary I still go through all of that awful day in my head. I think it must be quite normal really, how can you not think of it ?
There seems to be a huge amount of people that think that because you are trying to get on with life, that you are now " ok again " , whilst we know that is not the case. But to be fair to others, if they haven't actually lost a mum / dad that they care about, they have no idea how painful this is and how long it can take to try and feel anywhere near " normal "
I hope your dads anniversary. Will remind you of some of the good times, not just the sadness. 💐

It's my DF's funeral tomorrow
I have spent most of today crying, not sure how I am going to cope tomorrow. It is meant to be a celebration of his life so have tried to make it not too solemn, but I know I am going to struggle.

I am so sorry other people are struggling too. Grief can be so overwhelming

ineed you will cope tomorrow. Of course you will be upset, it's allowed!
My dad's funeral a month ago was a lovely celebration of his life but I cried lots!
I'm on holiday at the moment (booked in January ) & I've been laid on the beach thinking about dad with tears rolling down my face. Not sure what the other beach goers thought! But I miss him so much......
I will be thinking about you tomorrow.⚘

Myguide enjoy.your holiday as my h as possible.index I was worried about dfs funeral a few weeks ago however he n the day I felt better than expected and enjoyed the whole day and seeing everyone.
Take plenty off tissues and you may surprise yourself xx

ineed you will get through today, we seem to find the strength from somewhere. Holding your hand here 💐

Thank you everyone for your support. You are right I did find the strength to cope. I was so scared the day before I wouldn't even manage to get out of the car at the crematorium. But on the day I even found the strength to do a reading, although I did collapse in a sobbing heap afterwards.

I had a dream last night in which my DF appeared, I spoke to him and then I remembered he was dead and so next time he appeared in the dream I ignored him as he was a ghost

ineed I'm glad you were able to cope and found the strength to do a reading, that's amazing. I had in my mind I was going to read a verse I liked but I just couldn't do it. You should be proud of yourself
I also had a dream about my df after the funeral, we were on the beach and he was wearing the clothes mum picked out for him to wear to be cremated. It's strange how our minds work but I was sort of comforted by it.
I hope these next few days are easier for you.

ineed I forgot to ask how your mum is coping? Mine appears 'ok' on the surface but looks so tired. I do worry but other than see her daily I don't know what to do.

My DM also seems ok on the surface but I worry about her. She doesn't appear to have cried much since DF died, unlike me. But I think this is partly due to the fact that DF was getting harder to live with over the last few years due to illness and old age, and as I live over 2 hours away she was having to cope with that all by herself. They didn't want any help, and in fact my DF would have hated that. So for my DM it's probably a "relief", if that is the right word, that DF has died.

She has been determined to be by herself, although persuaded her to stay with us for a few days the other week, but that was mainly down to the fact she was ill. It was so hard leaving her yesterday after the funeral

ineed your mum sounds similar to mine. My mum has insisted on staying by herself since the day dad died. Before he died I was worried about how she was coping looking after dad. He was hard work and would get understandably stressed from not being able to breath properly. It was heartbreaking.

Well done index for managing a reading.I didn't think I would cope with that.My DM is now clearing dfs stuff.I got a wasps rugby top he wore a lot.one of my dsis keeps crying bless her.Her dcs are small and miss g dad.More of dfs bulbs were planted today so I hope next spring will be full of thoughts of him.I hope everyone on here has a peaceful weekend.

Sorry I don’t remember to come on here too much, but thank you mummylin for the kind words, they helped.

Well done on the reading ineed, sounds like you were very brave and strong.

My thoughts are always with everyone

I've just found this thread and I'm glad I did. It's one year today since my mother died and I still can't believe she's gone. I keep thinking that she's just 'gone away' somewhere and will be back some day.