Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

The driving lesson was fine in the end. We saw dad. My brother didn't want to but my Nan and I did. I have to say it's an experience I hope never to repeat but I'm glad I went. We only spent a few moments with him but it was enough. I feel like I can say goodbye now.

Hi all, not been able to post properly for a couple of days, I did update on my iPad and nothing would work properly ! Now been another update to fix bugs etc so hopefully will be ok now.
Hope you are all bearing up and getting through day by day. 💐

I so wish I didn't have to post on this thread but my wonderful DF passed away this morning

He had had cancer for a number of years but it had been reasonably managed for most of that time. He only really began to deteriorate in last few weeks. I can't believe how quickly he went down hill this last week. Saying goodbye to him last night was the hardest thing I have had to do. Seeing my DM say goodbye was heartbreaking.

My heart goes out to everyone who is going through the same thing

Lots of love ineedaholiday. It's the hardest thing in the world. Be kind to yourself.

I am so sorry that you have had to join us ineed. I think it has to be one of the hardest things to cope with. I expect you feel numb at the moment and filled with disbelief that this has happened. And your poor mum how sad for her too. Hopefully the family and friends will rally round and you will get some comfort from this. We all understand on this thread and will be here if you need us. 💐

Thank you rae I will look into the website for the jewellery.
ineed I'm sorry you have had to join us, it's such a hard thing to cope with. My dad passed away last month. Me, my Bro and my mum sat with him all night until he passed. I still can't believe he's gone. He also had cancer and had been ill for a while but the last week or so were awful as he contracted pneumonia.
Look after yourself and your mum, it's a very surreal time

Jools. Something for you to have a little look at

here

Thank you mummylin food for thought

I'm sorry index look after yourself it seems a few of us have lost our wonderful Dads these last few weeks.:(
I went to see Mum the last two days I was off.She says we've had over 2 years to know Dad was leaving us however I think the full impact is hitting her now.I don't think she has been eating.I cooked her a meal and she wolfed it down.My husband is doing a roast for her at the weekend..
We went in Dads shed to get some daffodil bulbs he said we could have.The garden looks empty without him.Saturday is my first birthday without him.Dad always brought my card and flowers round.
Mostly I think Dad would be proud of us for getting on with our lives.I only wish his last two months and last few days were not so dreadful for him.Mum can't stop saying how much he was choking the last 24 hours as the secretions built up and came out of his mouth.
I wonder if she will need someone to talk too.
Dad isn't having a headstone so I'm doing a memory box with cards and pressed flowers and photos in it.
I hope we can all have a peaceful weekend.love to you all too many to mention lately.

ineed I'm truly very sorry you've joined this thread, could you manage a cup of tea with a little sugar? It sounds ridiculous but when my Dad was found it was absolutely what we needed. Please take care of yourself.
X
It's dad's 53rd birthday today and I seem to have regressed to the first few days of his passing. I'm hurt and angry (who am I angry at???) But we bought cake and balloons because this day is still special and it won't just stop happening because he's not physically here.
My warmest thoughts with you all today

Sending you strength tribble your dear Dad was so young.Do what you need to do to get through today.I'm not surprised you feel angry xx

Good evening. This is one of my first posts on mumsnet. I've been looking for an online community for a while and after reading some of the supporting posts on here, I felt it may be the place to share how I'm feeling. I lost my mum five years ago when I was 23 to cancer. Since that day, I've been married and bought my first house. My life has changed so much. Every single moment during those important times, I've wished my mum was there with me. I think of other important life events that I hope will happen one day, expecting my first child being one. I feel a part of me is missing and wish I had taken more time to enjoy having my mum with me. I wish I had reached the stage in my life where I had seen my mum as a friend, there is so much I want to share with her now. I know this feeling will never go away, I know there will be life events that I'll always want to share with her.

Oh rainbow you are the same age as my DD. It sounds as though you have done so well with your life so far and I'm sure your mum is looking down really proud of you.
I lost my dad a month ago and although I miss him so much I know I'm lucky to have had him in my life for 50 years.
Keep talking to your mum and posting on here. I'm sorry I'm a bit rubbish with words but you are in my thoughts ⚘⚘

Hi rainbow. Hugs tribble. Lots of love to everyone having a hard time.

We had the funeral yesterday. It was awful and wonderful at the same time. I wanted it to be over but I wanted it to last forever. We had around 140 people at the service and 100 at the wake. It just shows how loved my dad was. I was a mess throughout the service. Most people were to be honest but the hardest person to see sad was my 9 year old son. That just broke my heart.

Everything went smoothly though and I think the family were happy with how it went. We are all getting together again this afternoon as the local football team are holding a minute's silence for dad.

So sorry to hear of recent losses on this post. I feel for everyone here who is experiencing such a terrible feeling. I have to say my mum passed 4 years ago and I still feel the same pain every day, I'm sorry to say this as I know it does get easier but the pain never goes I'm afraid, maybe just eventually is less frequent depending on how you choose to move forward with life. ChasingRainbows89 I completely understand what you're saying and it's such a hard notion to deal with. Personally in the last 2 months I have opened up to the idea that my mum still experiences the things she's no longer physically here for, and it has helped. Something to bear in mind for future months and years x

How the heck do you tag people on here!! New to this site x

Juanbablo I really feel for you and understand what you mean about the funeral.
Hope you're feeling ok

Jaunbablo I know what you mean about wanting the funeral to go on as that I'd how I felt with dads.Partly because it was lovely to see everyone together and also because Mum had said it was Dads day.
I'm sorry you are on here Rainbows.It must be unbelievably hard when you are so young and one of your parents misses so many key events and firsts for you.I have the consolation that my Dad saw all these things and he was in his seventies.
I bear this in mind as no one can live for ever.I feel more sorry for my Mum who has lost her friend and life partner of 54 years.

Hi Rainbow. It’s heartwarming to see that despite your loss you have continued forward with your life. Your mum would be so proud of what you have achieved so far.
It does take a bit of something to carry on sometimes, and I know in the beginning this is hard.
But after time, we all have to make a “new” normal. Of course none of us can ever forget and we carry our loved ones in our hearts forever.
I am sure I think of my mum every single day at some point, and that’s even after nearly six years ( anniversary end of this month).
Like everyone else I long to phone her and tell her something, but I actually do talk to her. I talk to her photo or I talk at her grave. Who knows if she hears !
I hope you will continue to go on and have a happy life and tell your future children about their lovely grandmother. 🌺

Mjslavenand mummylinn, that’s a nice way to think of things. I do still speak to my mum, especially when I’m doing things where she would tell me off! I always give a little eye roll to the sky and say “yes mum I know!”. It’s hard when I think of the things she missing out on and feel angry sometimes when I think how much I’ve lost. I spend a lot of time with my dad now. My husband lost his mum when he was young and he doesn’t know his dad. We both cherish the time we have with my dad. I know I’m not the only one in this boat. Like everyone, no matter the time I’ll always think of my mum. X

Myguidejools - I do hope she’s proud of me. I like to think she would have liked the way I turned out x

rainbow I'm pretty damn sure she is proud of you! Look at what you have achieved.
I talk to my dad's photo and I've got his mobile phone. I send him messages on whatsap like we always did.
The weekends are really hard, I miss him so much. We would be shopping now, or watching the footy and he would be moaning about his team. It's tough

I know everyone grieves differently but is it normal to be able to function normally for part of the day, then collapse sobbing?

I think I am still partly in denial. I don't think it helps that, although I desperately want my DF back, he was so poorly near the end, I wouldn't want him back like that IYSWIM?

I am meeting the undertaker tomorrow with my DM. I am dreading it. I have picked a poem I would like to read at the service but don't know whether I will be in a fit enough state to read it

On a more practical note when DM registers the death how many copies of the death certificate should she get? Hopefully the tell us once service will be available.

ineed I am exactly the same as you! I was fine all day yesterday then collapsed into floods of tears when I hot me again that dad was gone. It sort of hits me in a sort of a panic.
I too chose a poem I so desperately wanted to read but knew I probably couldn't (& on the day of the funeral I wasn't fit to read it anyway!) So we had it printed onto the order of service.
We used the tell us once service and only had to send off one real copy of the death certificate so I reckon 2 should be enough.
sounds like you are doing great.

Ashes to ashes
Beloved Mum dusts dew drops
Joining her parents