Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent.

[Mummylin]

Welcome to the new thread for support in your loss.

It looks beautiful. I have found a company that engrave handwriting onto a bracelet which I'm going to have made with some of my Dads hand writing. Although I desperately want something that will make me feel closer to my Dad, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with having something containing his ashes! xx

That sounds lovely, would you mind sharing the name of the company?

My necklace is beautifully intertwined with mums ashes and I don't ever think I'm wearing mums ashes I just love the necklace. I understand it's not for everyone, I hope you find the right thing for you to help you remember your lovely dad

Hi, I found quite a few companies on Not on the high street. I have ordered this bracelet www.notonthehighstreet.com/hurleyburley/product/your-handwritten-message-on-a-sterling-silver-bracelet

Dad
4 years today
Love you
Miss you

For you Mrsmartello 💐 A day of mixed feelings I expect.

Hello lin
(It's badvoc here!)
Yes, an odd day. Felt quite tearful on and off.
Hope you and yours are ok? X

😃 good disguise !
I can't believe it's 4 yrs ago. I remember that day very well too. What an awful day for you that was, then I remember your mum was taken ill later. Somehow we manage to cope don't we, even though there may be other problems along the way. I think you had more deaths ?
Hope everything is going along ok for you now.

Oh you know....staggering along...😉

It's really nice to see you badvoc, I don't see you around cause I don't venture very far on these boards. Where do you normally post ? Hope the day hasn't been too upsetting for you. Although I'm sure you were thinking back.

I don't post much anymore tbh
And I change nn regularly
It's been an odd day....weather wise I exactly like the day dad died

M gd just gone home ! And niece on phone cause baby vomiting all over the place ! Always something.

Can I join the thread please? I lost my dad at the end of June/beginning of July (we don't have a firm date of death just yet). We had his funeral last Friday (21st) which was the day after my youngest daughter's 3rd birthday. I was an absolute mess on the Thursday (her birthday) and cried from around 5pm til around 2am when I fell asleep. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly, unfortunately he killed himself and the thought of him being alone and so desperate in his last moments kills me. If only he had known how loved he was by us all, I wonder if we had known and had got to him in time whether we could have prevented it.

Oh kim what an awful thing to of happened, for your poor dad and for the rest of his family. I can understand that you couldn't stop crying, it's not only the actual death, it's the fact it's by his own hand and the terrible shock you all must of had.
I think that for some people, they cannot see anything ahead for them in life and so decide they want out of it.
I'm sure he knew you loved him, but when people are in a bad place they don't actually think of that. It's not that they don't care, it's just they can't face living. My sister has bi-polar and has attempted this many times but luckily hasn't succeeded.
It is so hard to understand.
I hope that eventually you will get some answers so you don't have to always ask why. Don't hesitate to post, we are all here for you. 💐

I'm sorry for your loss kim

Kim I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you have good support around you. Xxxx

So sorry to read of the tough times people have been having.

I wanted an opinion, and I think people here will have a feeling for what I mean. It's a sort of AIBU, but not in a bun fight type way.

I lost my surviving parent several months ago. My children lost their grandparent. My parents in law never mentioned it. We don't see them often, they don't live nearby, but at the time I was disappointed that they didn't contact the children to say sorry. It would have meant something to the children.

I've met up with my in-laws recently for the first time since the death, and again it hasn't been mentioned.

I'm now a little pissed off that they haven't even expressed sympathies to me or to the children.

I don't think it's deliberate, as in I don't think it would occur to them to say anything, but these people have known me for nearly 20 years and met my family. They are also both old enough that they have lost their parents.

I'm also aware that my parent, however imperfect, would have expressed genuine sorrow for the loss had it been an in law who had died, and spoken both with DH and the children at the time and subsequently.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected at least an "Sorry to hear about....."? If so please say, I need a reality check one way or another.

I've name changed as this is otherwise quite specific.

Hi grumpy no you are not BU. I had a very similar thing when my mum died with my neighbour, he had known her about 25 yrs and when his wife left years ago he was broke, So my mum knitted for. his children. He didn't even mention my mum at all and I was so hurt and angry that I haven't spoken to him since. Just a few words would of made such a difference at the time.
I think that some people just don't think and also don't realise how much difference a few sympathetic words can make to others. It's not that they do it on purpose, they just don't have the empathy that most people have.
I'm sorry that you have been upset by this, and also for your loss. 💐

Hi All, I was wondering how every one was doing? I'm feeling really lost today. It'll be 6 weeks on Thursday since Dad died and I feel really numb. I feel that I've got over the shock and have accepted that he's died but it still feels like he's just gone away. I can't quite get my head around the fact that I'll never see him again. I went back to work last week which felt odd. My office is being decorated so my colleagues and I have all working from which every desk is free so that's made me feel unsettled. And my son is on school summer holidays so I don't have our familiar school run every day. I'm not good with change anyway and at the moment nothing feels normal. I'm also worried about my mum being in her own 200miles away and the fact that she is now so dependent on me for everything. I just wish everything could go back to how it was.

I know how you feel. I would love everything to go back to how it was before. I wish I could time travel.

Hi allibaba. Nearly three weeks since dad died. Same as you, just not able to get my head around the fact that I won't see him again. Off work at the moment but going to go in just for two days next week then I'm on holiday for two weeks. Going to work next week will get all the difficult "sorry to hear about your dad" conversations out of the way. Feeling really low at the moment. Me too littleho

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm finding this week at work harder than last week. Last week everyone was being nice and saying how sorry they were but this week no one has mentioned it and expecting me to get on with my job. I think because I'm sat at my desk all day I'm thinking about my Dad all the time. I'm also on leave next week because my Mum is coming to stay. I still feel that there is lots to do in terms of administering of Dads estate by t I haven't got enough time to do it.

Sorry that it seems to be catching up with you all. Thus is quite a normal reaction. It's almost like all a sudden our brain seems to get back into normal life and then the grief hits once again. Just to reassure you all, this is a normal reaction so early on in your grief, it does and will eventually get better, but it takes time and we are all different in how much time it takes. We never " get over " it, but we accept and never forget. Remember grief is the price we pay for love. 💐💐

Thanks mummylin. May I ask you, in all sincerity and kindness, what keeps you on this thread? I've obviously only recently joined but you're always here to offer kind words to those unlucky enough to come searching for this thread. Without knowing your story, I suppose I'm thinking how it affects your grief, to be offering support to others? I'm extremely grateful for your support so in no way a criticism.

Sorry to all the new people on this thread 🌷🌹
I felt the same way the first few months my dad was gone it felt like he had just moved to Australia and turned his phone off or something (even though I was there when he died, but it still felt like he must be alive and doing things somewhere) agree with lack of routine makes things harder I'm at uni and on summer holidays at the moment I find it harder in some ways to not have that keeping me busy and the routine of going to Uni every day. I also hated the awkward 'sorry about your dad' conversations I avoided taking my daughter to nursery for weeks after he died but actually it wasn't as bad as I was expecting a couple of people said 'are you alright?' But it wasn't too bad

Jd it's because I know how awful I felt when I lost my mum, and it was so good to be able to speak to others and it helped me such a lot, so I decided that I would try and do the same for others, and I'm still here 5 yrs later ! So there you go ! 😀