I hope you got some sleep
Just wanted to say that I couldn't go into my daughter's bedroom for weeks, because it smelled of her. Someone else went in to get essential items .
I also struggled to do the washing that was in the laundry basket because her clothes were there too. Then I couldn't do the next load of washing because it DIDNT have her clothes in it.
I struggled to do s supermarket shop, because I was automatically buying the things that she liked .
I remember almost having some sort of breakdown in the mayonnaise aisle at Safeway becaue I used to always buy Hellmann because she insisted that it tasted better. But I'd always say there was no difference and buy the stores own brand as we were on a budget .
Then I was overcome with guilt and grief that I'd not always bought her the one she wanted . It someone became symbolic of what a useless mother I was and how I'd failed her ( of course it was nonsense but that's how I felt at the time )
There's so many everyday tasks that suddenly become agonising because they are connected in some way to the loved one we have lost .
And grief comes out in some crazy ways. All this is quite normal . You are not going mad, but sometimes it can feel like that .