DS1 has died

[endofthelinefinally]

I tried everything to save him. He was 27.

I don't know how I am going to get through this.

I feel so sad for you.

I'm so very sorry this terrible thing has happened to your lovely family.

My heart is with you and your family. Our precious children are not supposed to die before us. I cannot fathom the degree of grief you must be feeling at the loss of your son. Tonight I will say a prayer for your son and your family. ((Hugs))

Oh no, how terribly sad. I hope you can get some rest. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you've tried so hard to help your son. He will have known how much you love him

I'm so so sorry - the pain must be unimaginable. Am thinking of you and your family

I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking for all of you.

I'm so sorry

I lost a wonderful friend like this almost 2 years ago ... He had 2 kids and one is severely disabled.
We can't even imagine why or how do don't bother justifying it just live it . Big big love from here xxx

Up again and another cup of tea.
House is quiet DS2 and DD sound asleep.

I have to do some washing today. DS1's dirty washing is still where he left it. We had a bit of a war of attrition going on since he came back home I have been holding out for him to do his own washing while he was looking for a job.

I can't face going in his room but I have just realised I will have to choose some clothes for him. He loved nice clothes and shoes. He dressed very well until he lost his job.

He did work hard when he was well, but so many people let him down. He did keep trying but when he had money he was tempted back to the drugs.

I have his emails and texts on my phone and I don't know what to do.
I can't bear to read them or risk losing them.

He sent me and his dad lovely birthday cards, fathers day and mothers day cards this year.

I am rambling but my head is all jumbled up and my stomach is just a huge knot.

I'm so sorry for your loss x

I am going to have to venture out of the house at some point.

I have no idea how I am going to cope with that.

Family all laugh at me for taking ages just to go to the local shops because I meet and chat to so many people on the way there and back. I can't avoid the neighbours for ever, but once they know it will all be horribly real.

I just want to hide indoors.

Oh, you poor love. I can't imagine.

Virtual hand-hold for when you have to go out.

You don't have to do anything with his dirty clothes right now, there's no rush .

Yes, you probably want to chose something nice for him to wear . Do you want to do that yourself or have a friend help you with it .

I'm afraid there are going to quite a few decisions you need to make over the new few days / weeks, about the funeral etc . You need to let your friends and family know, so that someone close can come round and suporrt you and your DH in all of this .

Who do you think woudl come round and support you today ?

Oh god.
On hold to his car insurance comapny and they are playing the first song he learned to play on his guitar.
I had to hang up.

Student loan company and Amex both lovely and kind.
Mobile phone company hopeless. Although Ds always said they were hopeless.

I wish all these comapnies just had a button to press for "someone has died".
I don't know his passwords and secret questions for God's sake.

Oh my word, what a desperately sad situation.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Sending love and strength to you and your family

you are doing really well. maybe just write to most companies instead? its easier sometimes. thinking of you xxx

So, so sorry it ended this way for him

I think most of his direct debits come out at the start of the month and he hasn't got much (if any) money left.

I just thought it would save arguments about overdrafts later.

My ds1 was like yours.
He could so easily have ended up dead too.
I did the best I could in circumstances I wasn't prepared for.
I still wonder now if I could have done things differently but I think I did my best like you did.
It sounds as if he knew you and dh were there for him which is lovely.
Could you do an online order? Save you going out?

My friend just texted me. she will come later and pick up some shopping on her way.

Sincere condolences

Are you with someone OP?

endofthelinefinally

I lost my 22 year old son 4 years ago. He took his own life so different to your son. My heart aches for you and your family right now. The first few days, weeks and months are impossible to describe.

The best advice I was given is to keep breathing, try and eat something. We lived on flapjack mini bites! Be gentle with yourself and each other. Sending you love and strength.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself, too. It sounds like you are keeping busy trying to sort things out, which is a good short-term strategy at least. I hope when your friend comes over, she can take over some of it and give you some TLC too.

Could you deposit some money into his account, so that any bills and things get paid and you won't have to worry about overdrafts that way either? It might be less harrowing than having to ring all the companies today.

I'm so very sorry.