DS1 has died

[endofthelinefinally]

I tried everything to save him. He was 27.

I don't know how I am going to get through this.

So sorry for you loss. Lots of love at this time xx

I am just reading some of the tributes written by his friends.
I wish he had known how many people loved him.
He was ill and cut himself off from people who cared about him.
So,so sad.

I have only just registered this thread and wanted to add my voice in sending love and supportive thoughts to you.

I remember when I worked in hospitals there was a lady in similar circumstances and she said that one day she realised that cars were occasionally hooting outside their house and she could not fathom why. She looked out of the window and noticed that the car beeping that day was being driven by a friend of her sons. She rang him and he said that he and all his mates do this every time they pass the house as a remembrance of her son - she found this an enormous comfort and I hope that the tributes from your son's friends will also be of comfort to you.

Such a bad place for you to be in - but you are not alone - there are so many who really do understand how you are feeling and what a difficult journey this feels just now.

7 months on and I miss him so much.
One of his best friends is getting married. He and his fiancee are planning their wedding and I am happy for them, but so sad that I will never be planning anything for ds again.

OP, I am so very sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult everything must be for you.

for you. And we are listening if you want to rant and rave some more here, or maybe talk about happier times with your son.

I am just so, so sad.
Heartbroken.
I am exhausted getting through each day.
It is hard.

Be kind to yourself and take your grief one day at a time. It's barely eight months since your DS's death hardly any time at all. Events such as Christmas and Easter can be particularly poignant. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Poor dd is heartbroken. I cant help her apart from sharing her pain.
I hate to see her and ds2 so griefstricken.
My poor family.

He has always been alive in my dreams.
Then last night he wasn't.
I feel a whole new sense of loss today. I guess it is sinking in.

And the rest of the world moves on.
Few people mention DS now.
I feel as if it isnt ok to mention him.
There are only a handful of people I can talk to now.

I just found this thread endofthelinefinally and am so sorry that you lost your son.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to cope and support your DS2 and your DD too.

It's always ok for you to talk about your son. I am sorry that you don't have many people to talk to, but we're always here.

I've just come across your thread and wanted to say how sorry I am, sending love to you all. It's so difficult to see the grief of others and not be able to take it away but being there and sharing it with them will help so much. Is DD still away studying?

I often think of you and your children and hope you're all coping. It's so sad - something no parent should go through.

Is there any help available in RL? I hope you find some comfort from your family, though I imagine they're struggling too.

to all of you x

Thank you all for your kind words.
I have reached the top of the waiting list for counselling but there are no counsellors. So it might be a long wait.

Besides - counselling isn't a magic fix. I will love him and miss him for the rest of my life. That pain will never get better.

I hope you can see a counsellor soon. I know it can't fix anything - it's heartbreaking to think of your loss.

DD still away and studying.
She has been amazingly and incredibly brave. Almost at the end of her first year and up to her eyes in exams. She comes home for the odd weekend when she can.
DS2 is coming home earlier than planned. He has had a horrible time in Australia. Slave labour and racism. Not what he needs tbh.
I dont think he wants to stay at home though. It is going to be sad for him coming back here.
I have no idea what he will do.
I am worried for him.

DH and I are sorting through a few of his things.
It is so distressing.
It feels like such an invasion of privacy. But we can't just leave everything. It has been 8 months and we have to do a bit of tidying up.
I feel so bad because DH is having to do so much for me.
It is heartbreaking for him too.

That must be so difficult for you both. I'm glad you have each other to lean on.

I'm so sorry your son didn't enjoy being in Australia. It was always going to be tough for him, given the circumstances, but that sounds really awful.

How long is your daughter's course? Will she spend the summer back home?

Yes, she will be home over the summer.
She has quite a bit of work to do so she will be very busy.

Ds2 is going to be home too, he will have to decide what he is going to do next. He is going to find it very hard being back here. He was really hoping Australia would be a positive experience. I am really worried that losing his brother is going to hit him all over again.
There are so many reminders around the house. But I can't just put everything away. It is our family home and DS1 was such an important part of that.
DD has been home for a few weekends since September, but DS2 hasn't been home at all.

So sorry for the loss of you precious son. My daughter passed suddenly July 2014. The first year was a total blur - rather like a rollercoaster . Second year has been difficult , as normal key dates are hard leading up to as well as the actual day. I am part of a brilliant support forum, grieving mothers uk. As the title suggests it is all about support for us mums. Two pieces of advice given to me which l would like to pass on . Breathe sounds simple but sometimes in our distress we struggle , losing a child goes against nature , exceptional circumstances means exceptional responses , however we deal with this is our journey , our path do what is right for you.

confused - do you have a link for the group you mentioned?
I have googled but can't find it.
thank you.

@confused59 will reach her.

Thanks imperial.
I am having a really bad day today.
Cant function at all really.

I'm so sorry. Is your husband there with you?

Have you seen your doctor for some help?

Hi
Sorry l do not know how to do links but bear with me l will get my daughter to do it asap