please help me. dh has taken own life

[diege]

We were in the process of separting. Police came around yesterday to say they found his body. I have 6 children and its ds1s party today (sat). I'm going to push through til after the party and then tell them, hopefully with my parents there No one seems to be able to tell me how to tell the children, help lines of Winstons wish etc Monday to Friday I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

I am so so sorry. I have no advice other than to say what you are planning sounds like the right thing to do.

I will be thinking of you all weekend

Oh OP, I am so sorry. It's going to be ok. How old are the DC?

when we told my nieces and nephews my dad had died, although it's not quite the same as he had been very ill, they didn't say much at first but had a lot of questions in the coming weeks, so Winstons Wish will still be a really reliable source of support.

Is there someone with you now?

www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=EB8CDAFC-7E90-9BD4-CDB77DB42FD5C2CE

So sorry op an impossible situation for you all and a to get you through the day. Hope you have supportive family who will make today easier especially telling your dc. Take care and be gentle on yourself.

Thank you. I'm on my own, children still asleep but youngest will be waking soon. They're 14, 13, 10, 7 (on Monday), 4 and 2.

This has some really good points and gives some age appropriate examples of how to tell children.

OP with the age difference, I think I perhaps wouldn't tell them all together- a 14 year old will have very different needs to a 4 year old. Could you ask your parents to be with the little ones whilst you tell the older ones first?

so much and for you - you are doing really well already.

Hi there; I'm so so sorry. Samaritans might be able to give you some support though I cannot imagine how you must feel. I used to be isadorable and I remember you well from the 40s conception thread. How are you feeling about it?

Thank you everyone. Yes I remember you isadorable x
Thank you for the advice. At the moment I don't know how I'm going to get through the day. Just going to have to get up and keep on going.

Really sorry to hear it OP

The children are going to be asking where he is for the party. What do I do?

We mums can do miraculous things for the sake of our kids and then collapse in a heap later. Your love for them will carry you through some of it but I'm just so desperately sad for you and your children.

What time is the party?

His sister has had to identify the body. I feel so guilty in that I was wanting to separate (he had been controlling) then he'd been signed off work (a new job) by the GP only this week. She's not got in touch yet, think she will blame me.

Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected]. (from a website)

Party is 2.30 to 4.30. A joint one in Laser Quest with another mum.

Thank you moggie..

Oh op
I don't know, gosh, would it be better to tell the older ones sooner😧
what an awful awful situation

You must not blame yourself. You didn't make him do this.

www.supportaftersuicide.org.au/what-to-do/communicating-with-children

And this Australian website has some good info about communicating with children.

Sorry for what you're going through.

I think you should tell the older ones asap.

BTW I was a samaritan for 10 years and they really are there for people in your situation.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be a huge shock and you're so brave to be able to hold it together enough to even think about how to deal with this and get through today.

xx

I don't know how id tell the older ones before the party as I need to be at the party for ds.