DH committed suicide on Saturday, rang Samaritans, not helped.

[RubbishMantra]

Anyone there? I 'm a bit done in. We'd been married less than 2 years. I got him a dollar bill folded into an origami carp for our 1st anniversary. He hanged himself. We didn't have DCs, but we have 2 beautiful cats. Sister flying in tomorrow. I don't know how he could leave me and our 2 little lads (cats)

Mantra I hope you don't mind me wading in but I have to echo ThumbWitch. There was nothing you could have done. A good friend of mine committed suicide two years ago, leaving a loving husband and two small children. People have said to me that it was a selfish act but I don't agree, I think it's done out of a misplaced belief that those who love them will be better off without them in the long run. They simply can't comprehend the hole that they leave.
I am so sorry you are going through this

One night while her mother slept, a dear friend's 17 year old daughter committed suicide. She thought she was fat and ugly. In truth, she was beautiful; slender and stunning with model girl looks.

Another friend's dh managed to walk out of a secure ward in central London. He went straight to Argos and bought a small trampoline which he took to the Thames where he tried to use it to vault over a wall into the river. Due to the vigilance of a cctv camera operator he wasn't successful, but it wasn't for want of trying.

There is nothing whatsoever you could have done to prevent the tragedy which has overtaken you, Mantra, and it is a blessing that your home contains only good memories as it remains a place where you can close the door on the world and recall images of your DLH and the happy and loving times you shared together.

I don't actually think either of you will be 'carrying' each other in a short while. You'll be with each other.

Do you mean I might be in the grave soon as well Cozie? Honestly, I am giving this being alive after DLH a go.

Don't be a dope! I meant that I don't see any element of shouldering burdens - just that his presence will always be with you.

Interestingly, tonight being a weekend night and indulgence therefore being allowed we had sirloin steak and then chips and mayo. I had a wodge of mayo left on my plate and rather than shovel it into the bin, I left it lying - upon which, it was promptly finished off by Seniorboy at a rate of kots. I think it was the first time he'd ever really encountered it and it was a big success. All those lovely calories into him as well as the enjoyment!

Hope you had a good day.

Forgive me for being morose Cozie. I can be a bit dark sometimes.

Just had an hilarious email from mother, (the 2nd one involving all the woe of the new toilet seat.) But... apparently it makes it easier for father to do his Big Toilet. Silly woman can't even bring herself to say the word shit. Or crap. Or even poo. She did make me laff, even though unintentionally.

Ah, and the mayo. It seems to be a magnet for cats, even though I have to pick the quail's eggs out of MCat's Cosma before he'll eat it. Maybe it's the oil they like?

Remember to keep an eye on Senior's Big Toilets tomorrow though.

I tell you, I could almost feel sorry for her. (Note that 'almost' there.) How sad is it to have toileting as your only subject of conversation in these circumstances?

I wouldn't have much minded if she'd said, "your father's experience of doing a shit is much more enjoyable, now that we've had a better toilet seat put in." It was the "Big Toilet" phrase that hooked right into my childhood and pissed me off/made me laff like a loon.

Toilet Seat Parents.

In the gospel to according to your dm does your df have a front bottom as well as a back one that he plonks on the much heralded new seat before he does his 'Big Toilet', Mantra? Ye gods what a total pain the arse she sounds

Memories of the TSPs and their grand occasion could be evoked by a wind-up toilet toy where the lid rises up and down as it moves across the floor/table, along the lines of the chattering teeth which are still popular.

This may amuse you www.amazon.co.uk/Mysterious-Toilet-Coin-Grabbing-Bank/dp/B005GWXCM0 Perhaps we can arrange for a hand to come out of the bowl when your df puts "a deposit on the seat" of his throne?

Would you care to rephrase your response, Cozie? RM may or may not be decked out in black crepe and jet mourning beads but she's not going to do a Barbara Allen anytime soon or succumb to consumption on our watch.

Roast chicken & chips for supper here - the furries are drooling in anticipation and I'm going to see if they like mayonnaise as there's never been any left on a plate for them to sneak a crafty taste.

Already did rephrase it more or less, goddess.

Seniorboy was so moved by the mayo that he has been asleep for an hour and hasn't even woken for home made rice pudding with cream!

(By the way, I think that the term 'front bottom' sounds a bit RUDE myself. I'm sure that TSPs would use something else. )

I know you did, Cozie - only jesting

My ears did a double take when I heard the term 'front bottom' a few years ago. It was used to describe male and female genitalia by a family who are seriously dysfunctional members of a church that is more akin to a sect than a religion.

People are strange and Mantra's TSPs are no exception.

See, something good came from DLH's demise - spreading the love that cats have for Mayonnaise.

According to mother, father's front bottom hasn't functioned for a long time Goddess. She imparted that info to me when I was 11. With the information she was "relieved, because she never liked it anyway, and I would find out for myself one day, that men had horrible habits.^

A real bowl of cherries, your mother.

Mayonnaise, toilet seat parents and front bottoms and parental ED.

Who could've thought such musings could arise from a bereavement thread...

Love Mumsnet I do x

I'm imagining my mother to be too "naice", Cozeie to spit the cherry-pips out. And rattling them into the toilet bowl, machine-gun style. Frightening everyone.

And thank you for cheering me up. I might even give a bit of loop da loop (soup) a bit of a go. With some Nachos. With melted cheese on them. Even though there are loads of noisy dickheads making much noise outside, because of Freshers' week. If any of them piss down my cellar, I will kill them, with their arrogant penisey loud voices.

Once we've arranged for a hand to come up from the bowl your dp will be in for a treat shock, Mantra, as it seems no-one's copped a feel of his front bottom for a very long time.

It may even be enough to finish him off and you and dsis will be able to stick ma in a maximum security home and flog the bungalow as well as the property abroad. A win win situation for the pair of you.

If any freshers have the temerity to piss in your cellar a bucket of urine hurled out of an upstairs window with a cry of 'gardez l'eau' should serve to ensure your coal stays dry in future.

Toilet humour, eh? Once begun, it's hard to stop

Ha! I've always wanted the excuse to hurl a bucket o' piss onto someone, Goddess. Gardee loo! Bet I could probably get away with it without being nicked at the moment as well.

I feel sad,
For dear old dad,
That nobody ever wanted to feel
His gonads.

Nobody cares for a feel of his Front Bottom.

And rightly so - they'll be nicked for disturbing the peace at a desperately sad time for you.

I'm sure your tsm had a grope of his front bottom gonads now and again before she decided to abstain from horrible habits unless with an om

If anything happened to your tsm do you reckon he'd take up with a sprightly widow ow who's not averse to horrible habits?

Oh God no, tsm would have only felt his nads as a sort of chore I expect. Treated it like housework?

And as for tsd taking up with a sprightly widow I advised him to do that years ago, when he said he was unhappy with tsm. DSis has always had her suspicions he was latently gay, because of his rants against homosexuality. So perhaps he might take up with a sprightly widower?

I should really start posting on the stately homes thread. But I wouldn't have a clue where to start.

Maybe that's why the TSPs have lasted so long, because of their misery. Maybe a body is only allowed a certain amount of happiness and love in a lifetime. It just seems ridiculous that somebody who was so wanted and loved isn't here anymore. Whereas 2 people, comfortable in their misery and dislike for one another, are still living and breathing.

I am fucking fuming at him at the moment.

I think you are entitled to be fuming . And since its MN and not net mums , you can be fucking fuming