Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

He was amazing. I spent my childhood, adolescence and adulthood feeling happy secure loved and I knew I could always count on him and my mum for anything.

He was clever and kind and an inspiration. I don't know how I can get through this...

Thank you for kind words

It is disbelief isn't it..

This morning my world was perfect....now it's all tattered and ruined.

you will get through it, you will be a different kind of you. I know what you mean though nothing is the same but you will enjoy yourself again in time. do you have anyone with you or family around you.

Dyne, we've all been there, right now you need to take care of yourself xxx

The last time I got a small fluffy white feather, I had been listening to my mums funeral service, for the first time in 2 years.....later that day I found the feather next to my bad

I'm with my mum and my brother and his family are here too. So worried about how my mum will cope. My partner and kids are coming down tomorrow I think....I need them here...feeling so sad without them. Also am breastfeeding still at bedtime so I miss the littlest one.
I want to rewind time...

Hello dyne I am very sorry you have lost your dear dad today. We all know it feels like the world is spinning and the bottom has just dropped out of it. I'm not going to it's an easy time because it isn't, but with support you can and will get through this. Today obviously you don't know if your coming or going, and that I think us quite a normal thing. The first day is utterly utterly heartbreaking, we all understand that. I hope you have a RL support as well, I personally found the support I got helped me such a lot. There will be lots of tears over the coming weeks, so just let them flow. It's far worse for you if you bottle it all up. There is always someone here to speak to whenever you need. As always , the same for all of us, just take it day by day, don't think ahead too much at the moment. If it was a sudden death I understand the shock completely.

Ahh I've found you all.

I'm so sorry dynevoran. It hurts. I know it hurts. It hurts like nothing you've ever felt before.
Allow yourself to feel it. Best advice my doctor gave me when I told her that I was afraid of a full depressive breakdown. Nothing is right or wrong. It just is.

We will be here as and when you need us.

Thank you all. It was so sudden. He was 68 and in good health (we thought). He was walking the dog this morning and the dog came back on her own so my mum went to look for him. He had collapsed at the side of the road and a passer by was administering CPR and called an ambulance. But they couldn't do anything. Feels so surreal.
I'm lying in his side of the bed next to my mum. Wondering how to best help her through. Wishing I didn't live so far away.

Oh Dynevoran. So sorry about your loss. The feeling of disbelief is overwhelming. Knocks the breath out of you. It's still only been 4 weeks since I lost my mom but the crippling impact of that feeling has started to become less. I miss her like crazy though. It's good that you can be together to support each other and you'll have your family with you tomorrow too. Wishing you strength to get through the coming weeks.

Bonkers I'm glad you had a fitting send off for your dad. I too was really anxious the night before moms and on the day but it did all run like clockwork and passed in the blink of an eye. It is such a rollercoaster isn't it. I'd barely cried until last weekend but have had a couple of proper sobs this week. I try to ride out the strong days with getting practical stuff done as I know on the sad days I'm good for nothing.

Thank you to everyone for your ongoing support on this thread

I'm so sorry to all the new posters here, its a heart breaking time, but there's good support here

dyne that is a terrible shock for you all. It's so hard when things happen so unexpectedly like that. Not only do you have the grief to cope with, you have the shock of it. At least you and your mum are together for now and can support each other.
We all relate to your sadness, and understand how you are feeling. It's tough when all around you everyone else is carrying on as normal. I expected everyone to know my mum had died , which of course realistically I was being stupid.
I hope you can get some sleep tonight as you must be emotionally worn out for today.

sheep it is still very very early days for you, so I think your entitled to have days when you don't want to do anything. But it will eventually get better, week by week. Take care of yourself
Hi SM. ssd and chicken hope you all gave had a better day weather wise than I have here! it's been raining, dark and miserable! feels like winter.
Hope everyone else is continuing to get a bit stronger daily.

Thank you all. Very kind words which articulate how I feel. Going to try to sleep. This day has stretched out forever.

Dyne, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel having lost my Dad 2 weeks ago, very suddenly. I know the pain you're feeling is physical and it will feel surreal for a long time. Keep talking and crying openly with your family, it sounds as though you have a close family and that will help you through. Grief is exhausting too so take it easy. It's so unfair that your Dad has gone so young.

I found a few little white feathers and found them comforting, glad others have too. I haven't found any in my house, only at mum's.

I didn't sleep very well , but better than I thought. It hit me all over again this morning.

I can't take the pain but I'd take it a million times over if I could take my mum's pain for her.

Can't wait for my kids and dp to arrive today. I need that energy that they give.

I'm sorry for everyone else on this thread. I haven't really interacted much...pretty selfish in my grief right now.

that's understandable, it is so very raw and such a sudden shock. I am sure your mum probably feels the same and wishes she could take your pain away. I hope seeing your dp and dc helps today and brings you a bit of calm for the days ahead we are always here to chat too.

Hello dyne I am glad to see that you had some sleep, even though not a lot. I am sure you will get some comfort when your family arrives. The next couple of weeks you will feel like it's all a bad dream, but you will find strength from somewhere to help you cope. Your poor mum, luckily she has you to help her. Do you have any siblings to help as well. I found a lot of comfort from my siblings, I don't know how I would of coped without them to be honest. It is hard to make sense of anything in the immediate days after something so awful. It will go over and over in your head, all the what ifs, we have all done that and I think it's normal.
Don't worry about us on this thread, some of us are now a lot further on than you and can cope better. We don't really have a choice.
Take care of yourself and each other. You will get through this.

Thank you. Yes my brother is here and he is being really strong and amazing.

My dp and boys should be here any minute. I keep watching the clock. Time is moving so slowly....every hour feels like an age.

Can I sleep for a year and wake up when it's less painful :-(

You don't feel like it ever will at the moment, but that day will come. You will heal but never forget. But for now as I said just get through each day as it comes. Your world has just been shaken to the core and that is a lot to cope with right now.
Hope your DP is now with you. So glad your brother is there too.

Dyne, we've all been where you are, sometimes I just post to get it out, whether anyone reads it or not, sometimes I read posts & reply, sometimes I don't ... do whatever feels right for you xx

It's perfectly ok to be selfish right now Dyne. We've all done it.
I'm still doing it now and it's been 4 months since my Dad's death.

I found I walked alone and read a lot after mum died, the walking let me cry without anyone seeing and the reading gave me a bit of comfort, being lost in a book, and it was always old fashioned books, like Maeve Binchy, the kind that gave me a bit of "womanly" comfort, as I'd lost my last female relative that I loved.

hey all how are things? feeling a bit down with various things at the minute. ds birthday dredged up a lot of feelings of missing mum,her husband didn't get in touch at all u understand it's probably too hard to be around us but doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. got a few things on mind and feel restless wish mum was here to chat things over. how is everyone

Hello SM, sorry you are feeling a bit down I think all family occasions are going to make us feel sad. As it brings back to mind we are missing someone important. For me next week us my nieces 4 th wedding anniversary, my mum loved it, little did we know we only had a few more weeks of her being here. My mum looked so nice that day in her new clothes and she borrowed one of my necklaces that went exactly with her outfit I have never worn it since. Even the picture in my lounge of her taken at the wedding my necklace is clearly visible. Maybe I should wear it as it has been close to my mum.