Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

My kids are having to go to Ireland to see their dad, he is very very ill again and there is a great possibility he won't pull through this time. Hope this time they are treated well by ex Dh,s wife !

Sorry to hear that ml and hoping too that they are treated well!x

I hope they are treated well too ml, they'd better be! How awful she must be to be unkind to someone when their father is ill. I hope they are ok.

My kids are being treated completely differently this time I am glad to say. Update on ex Dh is that his breathing has improved, but he has so much fluid round his body, legs, lungs etc. They are trying a new treatment and if they can get rid of all the fluid his heart will improve as it won't have to work so hard. They will fly home tomorrow so a visit to Heathrow for us.

Kids home and were treated the opposite of the last time. Things not looking too good for their dad at the moment, but we are keeping fingers crossed for him. Both Ds and Dd have it in their mind they will not see him again. Both obviously very upset. But I am of the thought that whilst there is life there is hope.
Hope everyone is doing ok and getting on with their lives as much as they possibly can.

Am sorry to hear about the dc dad ml, like you I hope things improve but I'm glad they got to spend some time with him as I think it makes all the difference. Spoke to mums husband he said he came to mine Christmas day but I wasn't home - I was probably at nans.

Oh how silly of him not to let you know he was likely to visit. So I guess he spent Xmas on his own then ?
No further news as yet, but expecting Dd to pop in soon so can find out then. It's been a big strain on my kids, especially Dd when she has her arsehole of an ex still hassling her. Why does everything happen at once ?

Feel for your dc it's a horrible time expecting the worst with every phone call but they have your support so that is good. How are things with the ex. Yep I guess he did, he would of known where we would be and obviously didn't feel able to come down or want to so suppose there is nothing I could do differently

am glad they were treated better mummylin, though agree with sm , waiting for news is horrible, I feel for them.

It will soon be Valentines day then it will have been a year since my Mum passed away. My dad also died in February 5 years earlier. I still haven't got used to my life without them in it, there's a huge hole and they are always always in my thoughts.
Something is kind of 'hanging over me' though. Mum wanted dad's ashes in their garden but had no wishes (and we never discussed it) of her own, because of this I still haven't decided what to do with Mum's ashes in fact they are still at the undertakers as my DH doesn't want them in the house. We have a garden of remembrance at the cemetery, I think I may scatter them there but I need to collect them in the next 2 weeks...I suppose I have been putting it off.
I keep having flashbacks recently to her last days in the CH, they were awful, she hated it there and called me all sorts of names but I know she didn't mean it doesn't stop me feeling bad though. People say that in time better memories surface but with dad that still hasn't happened...anyone else feel the same?

Sorry to hear about your dcs dad mummylin, fluid on the heart / lungs is awful. It never rains but it pours doesn't it?

sayerville, I understand about the ashes, it took me and mum 18 months to pick up dad's ashes as neither of us wanted to go back to the dreaded place of grieving and more burials etc.

I'm trying to think of a way to remember my dad as he's buried abroad but I can't think how..

Things much the same for my ex.
Well yesterday was the day my sister was going to tend the graves for the first time. I am putting off texting her to see if she went because I know I will be bloody annoyed if she hasn't done it ! I would of thought she would of said something, but as yet I haven't heard. If she dosent go I will continue to do it myself as I have for the last four years !
Hope everyone is ok, the Spring will soon be here , with warmer weather and lovely spring flowers which will give everyone a bit of a lift.

I hope she did do it and continues to do it as promised mummylin, for your sake. as you know I don't have a good track record with sisters and my gut tells me she wont hold her promise, but I'm very jaded. I'm hope she will and you'll be able to share the care a bit for the first time.

I've became really hard since mum died and dont trust so many people now, but I know thats just me personally.

She hasn't done it as yet ssd, I received a text this morning saying she would do it today or tomorrow. I have replied saying it needs to be done every fortnight or it will go to pot. I Expect I will end up doing it myself again, but I would rather that than its not done.

you're probably thinking it would just be easier to keep on doing it yourself, then you know it's done and done properly...best to see how it goes, but be prepared to be doing it again..

Your exactly right ssd, I do feel like saying that, but I will see how it goes. It's not that I mind doing it, it's just I don't see why everyone relies on me to do it ! I'm not the only sibling .

my gut feeling (again!) is you're the only one who cares enough to do it, and maybe you should just keep doing it as it gives you comfort to know you're looking after things for your mum and sister.

hope I'm not speaking out of turn?

I like it to look nice and none of the others have bothered apart from on mums birthday and Remembrance Day. None of them at all have bothered about my sisters grave, it was always me and mum. I made a promise a long time before mum died that I would always look after my sisters grave and I have kept to that. Watch this space. I will be keeping my eye on things, trouble is the weather now is so bad I don't think she would of gone today and if it's the same tomorrow it still won't be done.

you and I are cut from the same cloth mummylin, I know exactly what you mean. I'm sure others on here will recognise what you're saying too. I guess some things just mean more to some people. When I asked my sister who would help me clear mums house she said "nothing there means anything to me". I cant understand that, for as long as I live. But I'm sure she must have loved mum, in her own selfish way.

you do what feels right to you, thats the conclusion I've came to about life in general these days!

Really struggling today. My mums 15 year anniversary and still trying not to cry writing this. So much has happened this year, got a new better job, got married to a wonderful man and now TTC.

Really really missing her and would love just one chat and to her what she would think of it all. She's been dead now 2 years more than we even had together but we were so close.

I really feel for you Feefeefs. I know what you mean. It just doesn't go away. I'm sorry

Thanks ssd have had a big cry and feeling slightly better. It was a cruel cruel thing

keep posting on the thread Fee, we all get it, honestly.

Thanks ssd struggling a bit in work today feel a bit silly like I should be better able to cope with it now. But sometimes it just hits me all over again like a fresh loss