Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

Mummylin - I understand the sentiment of carrying out what you promised to do. I promised my mum that I would take care of dad and I will always honour that, no matter what.

It's all very sad isn't it "trucking", I wish so much I didn't have to go there at all. But I made a promise so I must keep it and now my mum is there too I do both every fortnight.

I know nothing of your circumstance Mummylin but I can't imagine how hard it must be to have lost your sister. My mum lost her sister when she was 32 and she was always very stoical about it but I imagine that she probably just put a brave face on.

My sister died when she was 26 yrs old of an asthma attack. She had suffered very badly for the previous year. She was expecting her second baby, she left a little girl of two who is now 27 and the spitting image of her mum, sadly she has no memory of her at all. It was awful at the time but it was a long time ago now so it is not difficult to talk about her at all.

Hope the new year has started well for everyone. Isn't it a downer when it's all over for another year. Started to take all the docs down today and have just one clean and tidy room at the moment. Tomorrow I will take the tree down and clean that room. Can't do much upstairs as my Ds is still here and all his boxes of stuff he keeps buying for his house. Think he is having carpets fitted this week so it won't be long now until he moves out ( again ) but it will be lovely for them to finally be back together as a family and gs can't wait to have his own room back ! Dil just takes each move as it comes and dosent seem to get stressed at all. I suppose she is used to it now. One more move and they should have their forever house at last !!

hi mummylin, hope you had a good new year. I was at work today and everyone was asking me if we'd been busy over new year having all the family round....well. no! also the 2 people I work with have loads of extended family and talked non stop about what they'd all been up to. I feel as flat as a pancake. No phone calls or cards or anything from siblings for my kids, or me, nothing. Feel really empty about it all. I wish I could ignore it, but they are all the family I have, although I clearly dont have them. Sorry dont mean to offload on you, I know you have your own things going on. Am glad your ds is almost in his new home, that should be lovely for them all, and you'll get your house to yourself again, although I know you love having them! and how is your dd doing now with her ex, is she okay? x

meant to say mummylin, have you managed to escape all the flooding happening in the south? I know you are much further down the country from me, we're really high up here although a lot of places are getting it really bad, with the rain never stopping. It must be really awful this time of year to be dealing with flooding, my heart goes out to those people.

That must of Been so upsetting for you ssd. And to ignore your children is the pits. But though you have been upset by them, you don't need them in order to have a happy,life you can have this despite how they have been since you lost your mum
DD,s ex still causing problems I'm afraid, but we deal with it as each thing crops up.

you're right mummylin, I dont need them, I just feel the loss of any family apart from dh and the dc's at New Year and Christmas time, my siblings are my only relatives and they just aren't there at all and it's hard, now mum has gone there's no one else to care about my kids and they notice the lack of relatives we have, they comment on it and it breaks my heart. I gave them both gifts from my siblings that I bought for them, my siblings know nothing about it, they don't care if my kids got gifts or not, but I can't bear for them to think no one in my family thinks of them at Christmas time, its especially galling as I'd never not have sent my nieces and nephews nothing at Christmas when they were growing up and my siblings have a damn sight more money then I'll ever have, and of course they all grew up with grandparents there, which my 2 dont have either. I cant get my hurt and resentment about them out from under my skin, though I know it only hurts me and doesnt trouble them so I dont know why I bother. I know I need to let it drop but theres nothing to fill the void mum left.

Happy new year all, sorry its been such a long time christmas was hectic and then i ended up in hospital! hae been diagnosed with anxiety and have to have various tests to rule out other things/learn how to manage it better than i am currently doing so am on total rest! I am so bored. now i know what mum meant about not working and being at home all of the time, cant go to the volunteer group i do and there is only so many books one person can read!

how was christmas and new year for you all?

sorry to see new posters there is always someone around here for a chat or to sound off too.

hi sm, sorry to read you've been in hospital, what a rotten time for that to happen to you! I hope they get to the bottom of things for you, anxiety is an awful thing, I hope you get it under control soon, although I sometimes feel if that's part of your personality its hard to change it, I've tried myself. There's a web chat thingy with Ruby Wax on here I think tonight, she looks at anxiety (and depression) and tries to find ways to control your mind about it all, I think she's great, might be worth a watch for you too x

Thanks ssd I need all the help I can get so I'll have a look. How are you?

Hello SM and ssd . SM sorry that you are not too good at the moment. Did you have to stay in hospital or did they let you go home ? Probably all the stress built up over the last couple of years, then something has to give.
Ssd. It's such a sad situation for you, I can't imagine my siblings treating me like that, I am so lucky to have such caring brothers, my sister and I aren't so close, but we would ( and have ) always be there for each other in times of stress.in saying that 2 of my brothers aren't close with each other, but all three are close to me and my sister. If my other sister was here we would all be close to her, she just loved all the family.

Didn't stay over night as long as I promised total rest. Maybe, I need to break the cycle of worrying I could stress about anything. How are you doing ml?

I'm ok SM. You know how it is, for all of us life has its ups an downs but in general I am ok. Worry about my Dd but we have got used to that. Her ex is a twat !

ml, your family sounds very normal to me, loving and caring with the odd disagreement thrown in, to me thats normal, but being ignored and forgotten isnt normal. I dont think of them as family, they are just distant relatives I used to know.

sm, I'm fine, just plodding along... as mummylin says, I think its the stress of the last few years catching up with you, I hope your ok, try to take it as easy as you can.

How are things for your dd now?

Perhaps your right,I am learning to say no more and give myself time. Got to stop feeling guilty for doing this and learn to spend on myself a bit too. I have left the house twice this year once by ambulance and once to pick ds up I'm going to try and go for a walk tomorrow if nothing else! How are you all?

Things are pretty quiet at the moment for my Dd, but no doubt that won't last, but we will enjoy the lull whilst we can.
Well today I am going to the cream in a bit to remove the Christmas bits and put new flowers, then my sister is going to do the next time ! Only taken 4 yrs for someone to offer, but I better not knock her ! So it means I will only be going once in every four weeks instead of once a fortnight. I have already planted little spring bulbs so it's just a matter of putting new flowers in fresh water and just a wipe over the two headstones. It dosent take long. As long as mum and my sister have fresh flowers that will be fine. I will feel a bit odd not going so often as I have done it all the time up until now.
Hope everyone is doing ok and not affected by all the rain etc.

Thats good your sister is giving you some support mummylin, you've done very well to do it by yourself all this time.

Went to crem as I said to collect all Xmas stuff and my mums little Xmas tree was missing ! I looked around everywhere in case it had blown away, but it was nowhere in sight. My sisters one was still there. It looked pretty when I had done it, but I would think the rain battered the flowers last night, although there us some shelter under a big tree.
Hope everyone is doing ok and just taking things day by day.

I dream every night, but didn't dream about either of my parents until a good few years had passed for each. Always wondered why too - maybe its a self-protection thing.

I do now, and although its always in odd scenarios, its very comforting.

Don't worry. The dreams will come in their own time

Sorry, started at the first page and then posted. I'm new .

Don't worry about it stopit , you will soon get the hang on being on this site if that's what you mean about being new, or did you mean new to our thread ?

Thanks. Newish to MN, new to your thread, and not great with technology either .

Don't worry, this is an understanding thread anyway and none of us I'm sure knew what we were doing when we just joined up! I certainly didn't and this is now my tenth year !