Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

Totally dreading Christmas. Spent most of yesterday with mum wrapping all the Santa presents for the dcs at hers, to keep her spirits up a bit. I have such a constant headache just now - I'm sure it's stress or tension. Dad's headstone went up last week too and it's another bloody thing that should make things more real but just makes me go "la la la" and shut my eyes and ears even more. I'm fed up with feeling this way - I want things to go back to how they were, how they'd always been.

hi t875, lovely to see you! I second what you said the newer posters here, its a great thread to come to for comfort and like minded souls!

Mummylin, am glad your dh is so happy with football! And no surprise, no word from siblings.

I'm really missing mum just now. I seen an old neighbour sitting in her living room, tonight, she didnt have any christmas decs up. It reminded me of mums last Christmas, I got her some decorations but she wanted tinsel and I honestly had no time to get any, every shop I went in had none left. Those were the days I had young kids busy at school with carol concerts etc etc, busy at sports clubs, no childcare support except dh who worked and an old mum who was housebound, ,half an hours drive away, who only I visited. It was really really hard. I never found her any tinsel and she had her last Christmas with no tinsel. Now my kids are older and very independant and I've got all the time in the world to find tinsel and do her house up lovely for Christmas but she isnt here. Its not fair, its just not fair.
My heart aches with it all.

Sadly tillie things can never go back to how they were. I too wish they could. I think this time of year makes us realise our loss more than ever. It makes you want to cry dosent it. My mum loved Christmas and it's not the same now. I used to love it, but now I don't have the same enthusiasm. Everything is different now and my heart isn't in it anymore, same as for a lot of things now.
My sister after 4 yrs has offered today to see to our sisters and mums grave every fortnight , so I only have to go once a month and so will she. I have told her yes, but if she dosent go I will be really annoyed as I hate seeing dead flowers on the graves. We will see !
I hope you will be able to find some enjoyment over the holidays and that your mum will be ok. It's a tough time but together you will be ok.

am thinking so much of you all on this thread right now.

Am still being swallowed by monstrous waves of misery, but my children are distracting me.

Bit fearful of how Christmas will be. Will be such a gap without my mum.

Sorry not to have posted for a while. I have been finding it hard to write stuff down on here x

Thinking of everyone and their loved ones in the lead up to Christmas, especially those who are facing their first Christmas without their parents.

We're having Christmas at ours with my mum and DH family and will be decorating the tree with pictures of Christmases from over the years.

DH and I will be lighting two candles on our mantle piece in memory of my dad and his brother.

Mummylin hopefully your sister sticks to the arrangement, I agree dead flowers look awful especially in the winter. We always help out with BIL grave whenever we are in DH hometown. My dad is buried abroad and only has non flowering plants but I do feel sorry for mum who makes sure it is watered.

To everyone on this thread wether it is a long time or a newer poster, I hope that everyone will at least have some happiness over Christmas. To our lost family know that we are all thinking of you all with love at Christmas time. Thank you for all the friendship and support on this thread.

To my Mum
I miss and love you mum, so much. Another Christmas without you it's so hard to think you aren't here now. Always in my heart mum, Lin xxxx

Merry Christmas everyone. I've been intermittently lurking. Hope posters new and old have a good Christmas with loved ones still here.
I miss my dad so much - first one without him. Have shed a little tear and will get on with the day in good spirits as he would have wanted
Xx

Wishing everyone a merry Christmas. Thinking about my dad lots today, I've had the tears out of the way so now to celebrate with my lovely children and start cooking

My 21st Christmas without you dad, still have fantastic memories of the ones we did have together. Love you lots, forever your little girl.

Merry Christmas to everyone here!

Mum and dad, I really miss you both, the family has fell apart and its never going to be the same again, although truth be told I was an only child and you were both my family. I miss you both so much and I'd give anything for you both to see my kids, they deserve loving caring grandparents and have none and dad you deserve to meet them both. Life is just cruel.

Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas break and you all managed to enjoy some if not all of it. Once again I have been thoroughly spoilt and had lots of lovely gifts.

you deserve them mummylin, you really do.

Hope you all found some smiles through your Christmas time.
Glad you got spoilt mummy lyn. You truly do deserve it.
Ssd I know it isn't the same but your mum and dad are around you guys all the time and whispering in your ear them random little ideas you got over Christmas. You are them ssd. You have their genes and I realize so much that I'm am so much like my mum and dad. We carry that on Hun. We fly that special flag. They are immensely proud of you I'm sure of it.
Xx

Thinking of you all and lots of love and support xx

thanks so much t, thats so good to be reminded of that! I hope your Christmas was as good as it could be and you had a nice time with your family and dad and hopefully brother too.

I have a peaceful day ssd dh has just left to catch a coach to London, guess what for ! I believe there are 24 coaches going up. Late KO at 5 or 5.30 not quite sure. Think it's on sky tv.thata why its late.
Going to have a bath and wash my hair, at the moment watching Heidi which was one of my fav childhood books. All day to relax and do as I like !
Ds is here but I expect he will be in and out. He won't be here much longer as his house is nearly finished, I will miss him as he has been here about 7 months !
Hope everyone can relax today after the last couple of busy days.

hope his team does well then!

It didn't , we lost ! He isn't home yet, prob in the next hour, telling what should of happened !

never mind!

Hello

New to thread but not to MN. My father died on 3rd Decemebr on holiday in Tahiti of all places. I miss him lots, we haven't buried him yet that is next week. At present I don't feel that I am being allowed to grieve as everyone is saying that as his daughter my grief is not as important as my mother which I u spider stand but struggling with.

Hello five I too am in Dorset and I recognise your name.
Of course your grief is as important. I didn't know it was on a sliding scale. Who on earth is telling you that.
That must of been a shock to happen whilst on a holiday, so I guess up until then he was relatively well ?
How did you cope over Christmas ? Or does it all seem unreal to you at the moment. It is a very unsettling time and sometimes you just can't believe it's happened. It takes a while for the shock to wear if when its an unexpected death and it's very distressing for a while.
It's a strange time in life, the grief seems to come and go in waves and the most simple little thing can upset you when you least expect it.
Eventually the distressing days seem to not be so often and you then get more good days than sad.
It's a sad time and one we all dread. I could never imagine being without my mum, and now I am I hate it.
I'm sure you have good support in RL but always someone on here if you want to chat or rant. My deepest sympathies on your loss

Fivegomadindorset I lost my mum on 9 December. Just wanted to send you a supportive hug xx

Five sorry to hear of your loss and you also mummy nex. Can't imagine his hard it is for you guys.

Hope everyone is going along best they can.
We had a lovely Christmas tough at times really missed my mum but we had laughs and I'm sure she was right with us.
Hi ssd are you ok with your never mind? How was your Christmas Hun?
Hi mummy lyn glad to hear your Christmas was good and you got lovely gifts.

Xx

Mummy bex meant to say x

Hello everyone, I'm really struggling with the first Christmas without my mum, it's been six months since she died and I felt before Christmas I was starting to come to terms with it a little but Christmas has knocked me completely :(

I've got that heavy, empty feeling inside and wake up feeling sick and everything's been so hard

Dad came up and spent the week before and Christmas day with us, I was trying so hard to keep it together but found myself crying over peeling the sprouts!!

I put the tree up because I felt like I should, but can't wait to take it down, and every time I went Christmas shopping all I seemed to see were things mum would've liked, or cards to mum - it made me want to scream!! (Didn't though, I've not lost it that much yet :) )

We've been invited for New Years with friends but I don't feel like celebrating, it would've been mum & dads wedding anniversary. Me & DH are going for a meal instead, just the two of us :)

Hello sooper I found the first new year terribly upsetting. More so than Christmas Day as I was surrounded by family. But New Year's Eve I did not want to go out but wanted Dh to go to a party just the same. I was at home alone , that's how I wanted to be. I just sobbed and sobbed, I came onto this thread and spoke to some of the other posters. It really broke my heart. It was a custom that on New Year's Eve wherever I was I always rang my mum, she would not go to bed until I had done this and of course that year I couldn't.
It is very hard when you see others happily shopping with their mums and you can't do that anymore. It seems impossible that our mums can never shop again, and it hurts, a lot.
Somehow our lives go on , but it will never be the same. But the grief does lessen although of course certain times and dates will bring it all back. But gradually we get on with our lives the best that we can. But we will always have our mums in our heart, nothing can take that away from us, not even death.
I hope you will go forward and have a happier new year and begin to think of your mum with a smile instead of tears .

Lovely words mummy lyn and so true.
Hope the New Year's Eve goes the best it can for all.
I find New Year's Eve very over whelming tbh the whole standing about and counting down I don't like that.
All the best to you all for the new year xx