DH is dying

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

I think they are hassleing her about her previous loss's probate, her mother and father in law :(

Such a lot of grief in a short time, here holding hands if needed xx

yes, MIL and FIL both died the week before Christmas.

I don't think you should be worrying about any paperwork at the moment, and certainly not being hassled about it by any of your family. Can you remind them that you are waiting for some financial information (as you mention in your post) and leave it at that for now?
Thinking of you and your family calc

Oh - I see.
Still - it is pretty appalling behaviour.

I've told them every day that I am waiting for final statements from the housing association and utility companies. Each time I get 'well WHY have you not got it yet?' Like its my fault.

OMG you poor thing. They sound utterly dreadful.
Not an ounce of compassion or sensitivity.

That is so hard. Well done for keeping it together, I think I would have gone beserk with them. Hardly in your interest to drag it out any more than absolutely necessary, can't imagine what they hope to achieve.

Can you tell us about the funeral plans at all? (Only if it helps.)

What dreadful behaviour from your BIL and SIL.

What about sending the, both an email/text along the lines of..

"Ive got rather a lot on my plate at the moment. Please don't talk to me again about probate for at least two weeks"

how are you doing calc?
been lurking but with nothing useful to add x

Hey Calcs xx

Hello all. I'm okay. Been busy de-cluttering. I was desperate to move some furniture around, particularly in my bedroom, to make it feel different I think.
DS and I have had a nice home made pasta dinner and I think it might be nearly wine o'clock.

I hope that you are managing

Glad to hear DS has been helping and you had a nice evening meal together x Hope you enjoyed your wine too

Hi Calcs. xxx

Morning Calcs

What are you doing today? X

Hello. Thanks for asking :)
Loads of little errands to run today. I need to take clothes and photos to the funeral directors and I need to go into the office to pick up some of the probate paperwork that I left there not realising I'd be off. Might leave that until tomorrow actually.

Hope you've had a good afternoon calc and everyone you've seen has been kind and helpful. Thinking of you x

Thinking of you too Calc.x

Thinking of you too today. You sound like you're doing so well.

I hope being kept busy is a welcome distraction.
I had some dealing with bereaved families today and hope I was particularly compassionate with them.
Keep breathing in and out. And remember to eat/drink/sleep when you can

Calculators I'm so sorry to hear what a dreadful time you've had since December.

You sound unvelieveably strong and you have given many people an amazing gift by donating your DH's organs.

I really hope that your BIl and SIL can find a compassionate bone between them and stop being so self centred.

Keep taking things one step at a time, and at your own pace.

xx

I popped in to my office today, everyone was very sweet. I don't know how long it is reasonable to be off work for. The funeral isn't for ages and I have been having nasty migraines.

I don't know what job you do, but there really is no right or wrong here.

You do what you need to get yourself and your family through this. And even when you do feel ready to go back, it would be very reasonable to ask for a gradual return.

Have you eaten today?

Unfortunately eating is not a problem. I am a comfort eater, nothing has ever made me lose my appetite.

I am a comfort gin and tonic drinker as well