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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DH is dying

764 replies

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 03:11

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 16/02/2015 22:09

I reported your post viva! In the nicest possible way, of course

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VivaLeBeaver · 16/02/2015 22:16

Good, I'm glad.

If in weeks or months when it all seems an unreal blur it might help to look back at this? Don't know but at least you have the option.

I hope your DSs school are supportive and helpful and that any allowances which can be made are made. I'm sure they will have practical advice with regards to a level grades and Uni, etc.

How far away are the unis that your ds has got offers for?

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 16/02/2015 22:19

Liverpool first choice, Cardiff insurance. Long way to Liverpool.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 16/02/2015 22:30

A son of a friend of mine is at Liverpool and he's loving it. Is a long way from Berkshire though!

MNHQ
YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 16/02/2015 22:32

Hi there Calculators,
We are so very sorry to hear that you have lost your husband, and so suddenly too. We have moved your thread to Bereavement (of course we all wish it weren't so) and hope that you find the support that you need in the coming while. Take care.

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 16/02/2015 22:39

thank you mnhq.
I went to Liverpool too.

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longestlurkerever · 16/02/2015 22:56

calculators the train connections to Liverpool are much faster than they used to be. My dm' s train to London is only 2 hours. But if he's not ready come September a year out will do him no harm at all.

Huge hugs. I had a kebab for dinner too.

PetiteBateau · 16/02/2015 22:56

We were in Liverpool at the same time Calculators - I remember you from the 'anyone used to be a goth' thread. Bet we knew each other in real life back then.

Hope you have a decent sleep tonight. Xx

libertychick · 16/02/2015 22:56

Thinking of you tonight calculators. Hope you and DS get some sleep Flowers

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 16/02/2015 23:01

yes I remember Petite. We were at some of the same gigs. Did you say you used to go to the planet and sloans?

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PetiteBateau · 16/02/2015 23:03

Planet x, pink parrot, 147, swan inn. Seems like forever ago

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 17/02/2015 02:12

Thinking about my DS and his studies... a week ago I was so worried about him not doing himself justice and not getting the grades he needed. Now I can't imagine him going away in just a few short months. He told me that ironically aspergers means that he copes better with grief as he processes emotions differently.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 17/02/2015 02:22

Thinking of you Calculators.

OneDecisionMade · 17/02/2015 05:40

He sounds very self-aware, calc. My son has Aspergers too but is little.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 17/02/2015 07:44

Brew and Flowers for you this morning xxx

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 17/02/2015 08:18

morning, I have Brew I have to go to the hospital today to pick up the death certificate from bereavement services. DH and I were there twice in December for his dad and then his mum.
fuck

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Horsemad · 17/02/2015 08:33

Do you have someone to go with you for support?

JugglingFromHereToThere · 17/02/2015 08:40

Sharing a Brew with you this morning calc
Do you have a friend who could go with you calc, or dd or ds perhaps?
I'm sure they will be lovely gentle people there who will look after you a bit x

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 17/02/2015 08:46

yes, dd is coming.

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Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 17/02/2015 08:48

went to bed at 2 and woke up at 5.30 again

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WowOoo · 17/02/2015 09:15

I've just read this thread.

3.5 hours is better than none, I suppose. Try to rest or catch some more zzz's later.

Don't know what to say apart from sorry Flowers and that there is a random stranger sending you a big hug.

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 17/02/2015 09:25

thank you, I do appreciate it

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Horsemad · 17/02/2015 09:36

Glad you have DD to go with.

Dragonflyfly · 17/02/2015 09:55

So very sorry for you and your children. I will be thinking of you xx

SugarMiceInTheRain · 17/02/2015 10:09

WhereDo, I am so sorry to read this thread. You have done a wonderful thing allowing your DH's organs to be donated - what a selfless gift to others at such a difficult time. Thinking of you and your children, and sending love x