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Original poster

DH is dying

764 replies

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 03:11

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

OP posts:
Samcro · 14/02/2015 23:11

so sorry for your terrible loss x

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 14/02/2015 23:12

You and your family are in my prayers.

I know that you have lost so many family members recently - your hearts must be shattered. Please draw some strength from the amazingly selfless act that you and your children did by donating your husbands organs.

Words cannot begin to touch your grief but I wanted you and your children to know that others are thinking of you.

RandomMess · 14/02/2015 23:17

So sorry for you family's loss Flowers I hope MN can help you through the months to come x

scarffiend · 14/02/2015 23:18

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what you're going through right now, but please know that we are all here for you.

You've done a wonderful thing in allowing others to benefit from his sad and untimely passing. I hope that it brings you comfort, in time.

Flowers
Thumbwitch · 14/02/2015 23:25

So very sorry to hear that he has gone, but it's great that his organs will be used to give others life and hope.

Thanks for you and your family xx

darumafan · 14/02/2015 23:31

Thinking of you and sending you thoughts and strength xxx

maras2 · 14/02/2015 23:40

What a wonderful selfless thing you've done under such dreadful circumstances.God bless you.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/02/2015 23:45

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

SistersOfPercy · 14/02/2015 23:53
Flowers Much love to you all. I don't know where you are calcs but if you are in staffs and need support pm me x
SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 15/02/2015 00:02

I'm so sorry. My deepest sympathies to you and your family Flowers

UptownFlunk · 15/02/2015 00:10

I'm just so, so sorry and if it helps even a little bit for me to post and say I'm thinking of you then I'm glad to do it. I know we are strangers but sending you thoughts and love. xx

KiwiJude · 15/02/2015 00:17

So very sorry for your loss. The gift of organs, bone and tissues will mean so much to so many people. Thinking of you and your family.

Notmeagain1 · 15/02/2015 00:18

I am so sorry for you and your families devastating loss. You have the given the most precious gift so selflessly by deciding for organ donation. Your husband will live on helping countless others live.

Im sure Mr Calculators is smiling down on you and so proud you opted to help others with the healthy organ he had. You are so incredibly strong to have made that decision.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dcs through the next few days and for as long as you need them. (((((Hugs and love)))) Flowers

On Valentine's day as well. You truely have given the ultimate gift of love by helping others continue to live while you grieve. God speed Mr Calculators. Flowers

singaporefling · 15/02/2015 00:46

So very sad and sorry for your loss Flowers... Cannot imagine how devastated you must be... And donating was a very generous and brave thing... Thinking of you and your children xx

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 15/02/2015 05:42

I didn't get to sleep until after 2 and I've only managed 3.5 hours :(
I woke up crying. I didn't know that was possible

OP posts:
Stoatystoat · 15/02/2015 05:54

Am awake and holding your hand

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 15/02/2015 05:58

I've been reading all the messages from friends and family on facebook and texts. They're very sweet. People are writing lovely things.

OP posts:
FabULouse · 15/02/2015 06:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ninetynineonehundred · 15/02/2015 06:01

I'm glad you are getting lots of support.
Am awake and here for you if you need to talk

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 15/02/2015 06:03

Cat has just jumped off, don't know where he is going. Haven't got coffee yet... should, I guess...

OP posts:
ninetynineonehundred · 15/02/2015 06:07

I know what it's like when a decision like 'should I get a coffee? ' feels huge.
Well done on getting a few hours sleep. It doesn't feel enough I'm sure but will help you to cope with today a little

manaboutthemaison · 15/02/2015 06:15

wow, Mrs Calculator, what an amazing woman you are. I can only hope that in times of grief that i show the compassion, courage and dignity you have, your husband was a lucky man. My thoughts are with you and your family x

Fedupnagging · 15/02/2015 06:15

I am so so sorry for your loss Flowers.

You had done a lovely thing in agreeing to donate your dh's organs; I hope you and your dc's manage to find some comfort in that.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 15/02/2015 06:17

I'm here too. Try to be kind to yourself.

kiwikaterpillar · 15/02/2015 06:36

My thoughts are with you... I know nothing will ease your grief at the moment but I wanted to say that you have made such a brave and selfless decision and hopefully in time you may be able to draw some comfort from the fact that your husband will have been able to help so many people and their families with his gift.
My mum died in very similar circumstances when I was the same age as your eldest, your posts have really touched me and I wish I could help take the pain away. I am sending you all hugs. X