Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again, yet another thread. I am worried about the big tree by my mums grave. I would be horrified if mums stone was smashed, and my sisters too come to that as they are side by side.

Haha starfishi read that as as you were expecting an 18 month old baby !
It's a tough thing when there is a long wait for a funeral, as if life isn't tough enough at the time.
mumslife my dh has his mums ashes in a rosé garden in the crem and the payment has to be renewed every seven years. But on the date of her death,The book of rememberance is opened in the little chapel. There is a lovely rosé planted for her and a little plaque with her name on

Ha ha mummylin! I'm so big it feels like it could be...!!!

Today is the anniversary of my mums death. No one in my family has remembered. Not my husband, my aunts no-ones contacted me. I miss her so much. I never realised until she died how much she was to me and what her loss would mean. The last person who would truly, unconditionally love me. I miss her x

Hello stop that is very sad that you think no- one else is remembering your dear mum. Of course for you it's a very significant day and sometimes it's hard to grasp when others don't appear to be the same. But you have to hope that they are remembering your mum , but quietly to themselves.
It is a tough day when it's the first anniversary ( and any other first ) as by now you will know.
Try not to get upset by others, I understand it is upsetting

I had a pretty horrid day yesterday, my exh has been a bit of a pest lately & asked me something about our kids, I replied calmly but stating my point (it's valid & to do with him messing me around dates/times in the summer) and that started him off on a whole torrent of blame/abuse & his final text was something along the lines of "your dad would be turning in his grave if he could see how nasty you are to me" I take a lot of exh's crap but that's a new low even for him I lost my temper, sent a sweary text & blocked him but it's left me so upset again x

Oh chicken that was a very nasty thing to say. It sounds like it's a good job he is an ex. I am not surprised you are upset. But just think what kind of person would say such a horrible thing to you, especially at this time. Try not to let him get to you and if all else fails tell him where to go, and don't worry about being polite !

Poor Chicken that sounds horrid, hopefully things will settle down for you.

Have just come home from clearing out the flat - luckily some had already been done, and we divided things out pretty well, so not much to be thrown out or sent to the charity shop. Still it felt so final, and so painful, keep going to another room for a quiet cry.

mummylin, I totally agree with what mouseface wrote about you earlier, you always make me feel better and your words of wisdom really help so for ou xx

That's very kind of you ssd ,not sure it's deserved as everyone on here helps someone! you included. So take some credit yourself

aw thanks, I feel I always take support here but don't give much out, but as you say sometimes just someone posting something you can identify with helps you stop feeling alone..

I may go missing for a couple of days , the button on my iPad stopped working just now, so it will have to be repaired and I will be without it. Can't get back to my start screen without turning it iPad off completely !

You're not having much luck mummylin lol x

I'm generally ok, I'm coming up to 6 months & in this time I've lost my dad, my main "hobby" and my (pretty useless) bf so I'm making some positive changes to my life so i can get out & about instead of feeling sorry for myself, it feels good to have a plan x

Hi chickeni phoned the apple store today and spoke to a very helpful man who told me about a virtual button I can use also told me about doing the five finger swipe. Either of these will take me back to my home page. He said if it was him he wouldn't bother to spend a lot of money when it will work with these other methods . So it's all fine .
Glad you have decided to make some changes in your life for you. Probably be for the best even though you have had to be upset to start with. As for ex Not worth even thinking about him as he was so unsupportive . You deserve better.

Onwards and upwards chicken... good for you. Can you find a new, similar hobby?
I know you cant replace your dad but i bet he'd be proud of you taking control of your happiness.
I went for a pamper today and the whole relaxation thing was making me well up as i just kept thinking about dads last breaths... its just so sad isnt it.
Less than 3 weeks till my baby is due, thats deffo going to keep me busy!
Glad you have got your ipad sorted mummy!

Starfish I'm sorry you found your relaxation/pamper day difficult but 3 weeks to go !!!! I'm excited for you I love babies x
I am trying to do my hobby elsewhere but financially I can't go as often as I'd like ?? and my dad would be proud X

Mummylin I'm glad you figured out the iPad x

Did anyone find they just felt really angry and short tempered. hate feeling like this.

Ha ha Yorkshire I definitely did a few weeks ago if you can, try not to snap at everyone & have a good think about why you're actually angry or who you're angry with xx

starfish I know what you mean - I went to my pilates class on Friday, and as we were doing the relaxation bit, I couldn't my dad's final breaths out of my mind either, and I totally broke down. My teacher came and gave me a hug.
My mum has gone for her first counselling session this morning since dad died. I hope it will help for her to have someone else to talk to, as I am struggling with the pressure of being her only means of support.
I'm finding all the free time I now have very weird indeed. DS has his first swimming lesson since dad died today, and we always went to visit him afterwards as it is near his nursing home.
Funeral is next Wednesday - I'm dreading it. I don't want DS to see me break down.

tea... death is so hard to deal with isnt it, it takes hold on many more levels than just missing the person. I can sympathise re being your mums support. I'm in a similar position as my sister is crap, its a new role/responsibility that you just don't expect to have. Really great your mum is having counselling, my mum never would yet she really needs it for all kinds of issues... mainly self esteem.
And sad also getting used to the same routine but without them there. Hope the lesson went ok and it wasnt too wierd mot to be going to the nursing home.
I'm not an expert as dont have older kids but from stuff I've read its meant to be ok to cry in front of them as it demonstrates that they can do the same and its ok to be sad. I guess its just what you feel comfortable with.
Wishing you strength to get through to the funeral and beyond. Xx

you girls need to find the elderly parent section here, its full of support for those of us who were/are supporting their old mums or dads.

Hey everyone, I'm still doing so much better the next week will be very hard, but I've taken steps to improve my life & hopefully I won't have time to spend days crying and/or sleeping I've taken back a bit of control in my life & it feels good x I hope everyone else is coping well xx