Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again, yet another thread. I am worried about the big tree by my mums grave. I would be horrified if mums stone was smashed, and my sisters too come to that as they are side by side.

Hi everyone, not read the thread properly yet but sadly I'd like to join you. Lost my mother this week (weds). She'd only been diagnosed with cancer in January. Not sure I've properly absorbed it all yet.

I will mummylin and welcome to all the new posters, this is the thread that none of us want to be on xx

I will mummylin and welcome to all the new posters, this is the thread that none of us want to be on xx

Sorry myrtle my mum also had cancer we are a friendly bunch and always around to chat . The disbelief is hard please take care of yourself as best you can

Mumslife and Myrtle I would think you are both in shock at the moment and finding it very hard to believe that this has happened. It is a very difficult time and it's a tough time. Everything around you goes on just the same , yet your lives have just shattered by one of the greatest losses you will ever experience.
The days preceding a funeral are quite strange, you do the things that you have to do, all in a dream really.
In some ways it us worse afterwards as people tend to drift away and you are left to cope.
It's even hard to write on the little card isnt it mumslife ? So much you want to write but only a small place to write it.
I would not want to go back to the first few weeks, to me it felt unbearable.
I wish you both the strength to get through tomorrow which will be a very bittersweet day for you both. It will be difficult to have the first of the firsts so close to your losses. Thinking of you both.
SM don't go drinking the whole bottle tonight !!

spoilsport mummylin I like to make it last ill still have it in august

A lot of florists now do cards that are slightly larger than normal, maybe you can ask in the florist you are using. But as you said how can you write about all those years in just half a dozen words.
I actually wrote my mum a letter and placed it in with her, and a photo of every member of the family so a part of us all went with her. It's all so very sad.

SM I also keep drink for ages! can't even remember the last time I had any alcoholic drink at home. I actually prefer a cup of Tea !

dps mum always buys me three bottles of spirits for Christmas I usually still have at least one by the next Christmas haha . I also prefer the cups of tea. watching a comedy tonight with a rum and coke trying to keep my mind occupied, will you be seeing the dc tomorrow?

We have a proper bar in our dining room, which is jam packed with bottles , we will never drink it in a million years ! Even dh prefers to drink at the pub rather than at home. I can't put a pic cause it's not the right place to do it, but it's a proper pub shape bar , with all the optics etc, very handy for parties.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. This time is quite surreal, I'd envisioned lots of activity but instead feel a bit useless. On plus side, am back with DH and DD (we live about 4hrs away from mom) which is lovely.

I'm sure being back in your own home will give you some comfort. Hope you havea supportive family and lots of friends. It certainly helps. Try and make sure you sleep ok and make sure you eat properly, it so easy to ignore when you feel sad.

It is so reassuring to be in your own home surrounded by familiar things. It dosent matter where I have been , I love coming back to my own home.

Evening all.

Feeling a bit rough today.

Mums funeral was Tuesday - seems an age ago. It was a really lovely service. My kids did grandma proud - DS wrote and delivered and excellent eulogy, and the girls sang faure pie Jesu . The tea was great and it was lovely to see everyone.

Came home after, and back over thurs to help my sis with emptying the house. I'm finding this is getting harder now. The easy stuff has gone, we talked and shared some of the harder stuff and shoved the impossible back for another time. She's gone home now.

Had a wobble in the charity shop. I think I feel my roots are being pulled up...

Anyway we collected her and she's sat in her favourite chair - thank goodness the utilitarian polytainer has a " velvet jacket " bag - she'd have hated to be in anything that wasn't smart!

Now home for bloody Mother's Day. Not looking forward to it at all but going to see the big two which will help me survive.

Sending everyone esp the newbies hugs.

Myrtle - I know what you mean about the comfort of home , I think I've been away too long this time - 3 days is too much.

Glad to see that everything went off ok theas
It's an awful job having to sort everything out, one of the hardest things to do I thought. Luckily my brother and I weren't in a rush to do anything and many times we got to mums , then decided we couldn't face it and went back home. Avid I have so many boxes of mum stuff here which I could not bear to throw out. I really need to sort it .

Sorry I'm not here much at the mo. I've been finding it hard to talk or think about lately x

Just so what you think is best for you Candy, we will still be here when you feel more like posting

Just jumping in quick to say I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow for those who no longer have their mums and Mother's Day will be hard.
I know I miss my mum like crazy and feel numb to think I haven't got her anything. I will raise a glass though and light a candle. And know she is close by.
Even though I don't get on as much as I'd like. I've had a lot going on.
I still think about you all often. And will always feel part
Hopefully as things calm here I can get back on soon.

Hugs and thought and support to you all xxx

My mum died yesterday. I'm totally bewildered . I don't want to tell anyone, I don't want it to be real. I don't want anyone to ask me how she is or how I am.

She's been very ill for the last couple of years, particularly the last couple of months. I can't get the horror of watching her so ill out of my mind. And she died before I could reach her, and can't stop thinking she didn't wait for me , didn't say goodbye. Can't handle the fact it's Mother's Day tomorrow. Not interested in my children. Just want to hide.

Can't sleep, just desperately trying to hear her or feel her.

Hello deee I understand as do many others who have been or are on this thread. It is utterly heartbreaking and your brain can make no sense of anything at all.
I too was not with my mum, none of us were as it was unexpected.this in itself was a terrible shock. There is nothing that anyone can do to take away your pain, but we can be here for you to chat or rant, whatever you want.
The next few days will feel like some awful nightmare and at times you may feel it's not really true, but sadly it is and this knowledge hurts like nothing else.
Do you feel by not telling people that it won't be real ?
I am so sorry that you have had to join this thread, but everyone here understands and will support you as much as it's possible too.
If you don't sleep tonight, then try and get something to help you just for a few days from your doctor.

Oh and Deee , I know you will have a very difficult day tomorrow, I hope you have support around you that can help you through it.