DH died last night. No idea what to tell 2.5yo DS

[PetaO]

DH was diagnosed with advanced gastric cancer on the 1st August this year.
Surgery was ruled out. We managed 2 rounds of Palliative chemo before they decided that it wasn't working and he was too ill for further treatment and so there was nothing else they could do.

We moved him to a hospice on Wednesday with the hope of using it as a stepping stone to him coming home to be with us all at the end. But he was in a lot of pain with difficulty breathing yesterday, and while I was sitting with him at about half 10 j the evening he was struggling to breath, and all of a sudden he wasn't anymore.

I don't understand how it can happen this fast. He was a 32 yo healthy 10k runner and cycler. He didn't smoke or drink. It has all come as such a shock. We thought we'd have even a little more time.

But most of all I have absolutely no idea what to tell our son. He was at the hospice yesterday afternoon, playing with me in DHs room. So he knows that daddy wasn't feeling well and was in hospital so that the doctors could try and make him feel better. But he hasn't asked about him today. And I don't know what to say when he does.

I am at a complete loss.

Just a thought about avoiding conflict with PIL over the ashes, you can split the ashes so that each gets to do what will comfort them the most.
I know a few families who have done so and it seems to help everyone.

Kind thoughts.

Look after yourself and keep taking one day at a time .

I'm so sorry for your loss I completely understand about the admin - my dad died unexpectedly a month ago. I had to fly back to the UK from Australia to deal with the funeral and paperwork. It was absolutely horrendous so you have my utmost sympathy.

We also had a double (well triple) whammy of my stepfather and grandmother going into respite care in the same month as the funeral and you're right, it seems like it's relentless.

I came across your thread (although I'm a 10 year + member) googling memorial ideas for dad after I skyped mum this evening, so again decisions about ashes/memorials and what to do for the best. Mum doesn't want there to be nothing left to remember him by and I'm sure you feel the same too.

We are overseas so we won't have anything tangible to visit but I'm sure you'll be able to find something lovely for you and DS to remember him by, there are some lovely ideas out there

Take care of yourself, it's such a difficult time x