Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

hi lins ds . I've picked up a load more christmas presents today. town was chaos though

candy, its so very hard to accept the unfairness of life

I know what you mean, though not in relation to mum or dad, they lived to be elderly

but a neighbour of mine, a lovely lovely man, with a very close family and friends, great wife and kids, died a good few years ago, literally in front of them all, very very suddenly, he was 45... he had everything to live for... another neighbour 2 doors along is very hostile, very unfriendly, hates kids, has no family just a dog, no friends, he's still walking the streets, ignores everyone, horrible person.

theres just no reasoning to it all. I'm sorry, sending you hugs, hopefully writing it down here is letting you process your thoughts, although dealing with them takes a long long time. x

sm, sorry for you too, and you're allowed to be in a bad mood, God knows you've got a good reason, thats what I tell myself when I'm mad at everyone!!

We used to think this when my sister died at 26. She too had everything to live for a two year old dd and expecting her second baby, a nice home and a good dh. We asked ourselves why ?she was so young and did not deserve to die.

SM! I had a parcel delivered today and dh has been up Argos to get an air printer for dd so she can print from her iPad. She can't do that with the printer she already has. So that's two more things today. Still got a few to get though. One of the downsides of having such a big family is all the gifts ! Have you nearly done all your shopping now ?
ssd have you started your shopping too yet ?
But I also have 4 birthdays in Dec. ds. Dd gs and gd !! Very expensive month ! 3 before Xmas and one of them 5 days after. Not very good timing was it

No mummylin, she didn't. So sorry for you all. I am very grateful for the years my dad lived. If he had come to terms with it himself it would be easier but he was so sad about it.
Yes writing it down does help, as does hearing your experiences. You are all right, there is no reasoning, it just is. Hard to accept when normally we use logic and linear thinking but with this there is no logic.
These anniversaries are tough for you all aren't they. We've not got that far yet. It was my parents sapphire anniversary three days before he died. Sending hugs to you all x

sounds tough, I also think the same about my mum at 46 she was so young and she often when really sick all the time would say why me, what did I ever do. it hurt, mostly because she didn't do anything she worked bloody hard and did her best. there is no rhyme and reason. I have done most of my shopping linn just picking up extra things for the kids if I see them. not done my brother/sister/dad though yet mostly because I am clueless!

You are right SM. I am sorry you lost your mum at 46.
Most of the time I feel lucky, but sometimes I am just sad for him.
I am also nearly done with Christmas shopping.

Will be going up the crem about 3 so can check that all
Is well with the headstones. Hopefully we can dodge the heavy showers. I expect the anniversary flowers are now all ruined. Battered by wind and rain but I will put fresh ones there today. Hope you are all doing ok on this wet weekend x

hope everythings ok mummylin x

exactly two years ago I was saying goodbye to my mum for the last time. my heart hurts today can't think of another way to describe it

I feel your pain SM , it's just awful to think back isn't it. Hope you have coped with today.
Yes thankfully ssd all was ok but it was raining and generally miserable there today! I got frozen in just a few minutes so just threw away the dead flowers and put the new ones in and went off to meet my brother. Lots of squirrels running around eating everyone's flowers ! I don't take carnation type ones anymore as these are a feast for them !

SM sending you a big squeeze. Precious and painful memories for you x

We have had a nice family tea including my 93yr old grandad who dozed off after too much red wine. I do love him, he's very adorable.

Is it the squirrels that do it Lin? I have been blaming poor innocent rabbits.

The squirrels eat the heads off carnations and other flowers that are similar. They don't eat roses or alstroemerias or lilies. So that's what I normally get. But it used to be so annoying to get there and just find the stems !

sm..it all just comes back doesnt it, like it only happened yesterday. I'm sorry

and glad it was ok at the crem mummylin x

oh sm so sorry hun, thinking of you. Hope the day went the best it could, never easy

lin - glad the flowers were ok x ive also started Christmas shopping got a few bits off good ol Avon and the book people at work
Better wear for the sister in law
Hope your all going along ok.

Hello everyone.

Some of you might know me from a thread I posted on around this time last year, just after.............

On Sunday, 23rd of November, my husband will be driving me to the crematorium where my darling Mum was taken to her final resting place.

She was just 59 and had Adenocarcinoma, along with it in all of her lymph nodes.... she riddled with it. Cancer. I knew it. I saw it. In the October, in her face, deep within her.

My Dad went mad when I told him what I'd seen.

On Sunday, we are going to go and see my wonderful, strong and beautiful Dad after the Crem, just us. I don't want to see anyone else.

I've just watched Holby and cried so. so. so much. Why do we lose the people who give us, gave us so much? Before my Mum met my (step)Dad, she gave up all of her life, all of her food, money to make sure that we were warm, clothed and fed.

She didn't make her 60th, or my 40th which is going to be in January. She gave me life, love and support. Regardless of how little money she had.... we always ate and were warm.

Please, tell me that this will get better, I have a disabled son to care for, a husband who loves me beyond the world and a teenage daughter who has the strength of a Lioness.

Hellomouseface it is obvious how much pain you are in at this time and coming up to the first anniversary is awful. Your mind goes back to those awful days and it's like you are reliving it all over again. For me it is now 3 years ( oct ) and things are easier most of the time. but the birthdays and anniversaries are still the toughest days,
It will get better but how long it takes differs from person to person.
You sound like you had a very close bond with your dear Mum. And I'm sure she would not want you to be so sad. But it's difficult isn't it.
Your Mum has left her legacy and that is you. And she has also contributed to your children as they have her genes. So in part she is still here
I am glad you have a supportive dh. And loving children. They will all help you through this sad time.
On the anniversary think of your mum with love. Try and recall the happier times, and talk to her when you go to the crem. X

Hi Mouseface. I am 8 wks in to losing my dear dad. Cancer for him too.
If your daughter is a lioness you can guarantee she got that from you. And by the sounds of your wonderful mum, you got it from her. She obviously set you a brilliant example of how to be a good mum. Your strength is within you and your family, just as your mum was strong for you. Love will give you the strength.
I watched Holby too, very sad and yes, brings back those feelings of the end.
I will be thinking of you on the 23rd x

hi again, mouseface, nice to see you again, although of course I'm sorry for the circumstances...IME the rawness goes slightly over time, but the hurt remains the same.... your mum sounds lovely and you sound the same...but I know how deep the pain is, I feel the same, its gut wrenching. I think we all feel it on this thread and thats why its such a draw for us all, whenever we need it. for you xx

Hope everyone is doing ok and not feeling the cold too much. I hate it and won't be venturing too far if I don't have to !

Had a bad day today. Grief is a physical pain, like lead weighing me down.
Just chilling out with hubby looking after me.
Hope you all have nice weekends planned x

Sorry you had a bad day candy. I think for the first few months this is what happens it hits you like a brick when you don't expect it at all. It's ok to feel sad, and it's ok to have tears, it's all perfectly normal. Grief has many many different stages. Hope today will be better for you.

hope your feeling brighter today candy.
mums husband came down this weekend havent seen him since he moved towns back in June so was strange but nice to see him. it's hard to see him moving on but he needs too I understand that. tomorrow marks one year since our lovely ndn from mums house died we grew up always in and out of her house she was a lovely lady had time for anyone I shall think of her tomorrow

Oh SM I'm so glad that you have seen your mums dh after all this time. How faraway has he moved and did he mention your nan and grandad ? Shame about the neighbour bringing more sad memories for you.

not too far really about an hour drive really. he seemed okay which was nice. gave ds a fiver so ds was over the moon. mentioned nan andgdad to ask how they were ect so not too bad. how are you all. lots more shopping done now have bought dp a garden incinerator that he wants for Christmas. god knows where I'm going to put it till then