Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

My deep respects for your dh,s grandfather badvoc

That was a short message as I was typing that whilst hanging on the phone for my turn! I wanted some tickets for a show for my ds, s birthday and after hanging on for ten minutes they are all sold !! But I have been put on a waiting list so may still be lucky. It's to see Madness. W nt hold my breath though.
badvoci can't imagine the pain that anyone who lost someone in a war must feel. I can't envisage the absolute horror. So I have a lot of respect for all of those that lost their lives. I have my grandads medals, he had no interest them at all, but to me they are treasures.
There was a young soldier a few minutes from here that lost his life in Afghanistan about 4 years ago and they have now put a bench with his name on and there are always flowers there for him, he was only 19 yrs old.

My fil was only 14 months old when he was killed at sea.
His wife never remarried.
He was 27.
RIP.
My thoughts are with all those who have lost loved ones in conflict...how awful to not be able to bury them/visit their final rearing place.
Also thinking today of the families of those on flight MH17...may they find peace x

both my dad and dh's dad were in WW2, I wished I'd asked dad more about it but it used to upset him so I didn't and now theres no one to ask...I have war records and demob papers, both so old but they make no sense to me, db has dads medals, I asked him what ones he had but he never got back to me, so I just look at his pictures.

Hello all, just saying hi. I have had a bug for a few days. Feeling a bit wiped out. Badvoc thank you for sharing your family's experience of loss. The human cost of war can get lost and thank goodness we have Remembrance Day which gives us a chance to talk about it.

What I want to say to my dad today.

Dad I miss your smile. I miss you knocking on the window instead of the door. I miss everything about you.

Ive been awol for a long time. My grieving is like a rollercoaster, never the same, just up and down. Some days im just ok, I think of dad every day but don't necessarily feel anything too intense but other days I feel overwhelmed with sadness. Today is one of those days.

Why does it always hit you in the most inconvenient of places? Like in the supermarket? It always gets me when I see a funeral car with people in it pass by because I know what they must be feeling and it takes me right back to the day of the funeral. I find it worse when I see just the car with the people in it and no funeral car infront, because I know where they've been and what they've had to go through. That was the worst car journey of my life. It was really bad following the coffin to the crem but the worst was leaving him there and driving back with no dad. I hated leaving him there. It really felt like that was it, closure to an awful illness and the trauma of him dying. It felt final.

Its just brought it all flooding back from 7 months ago. Along with the fact im 32 weeks pregnant, a few medical issues and the fact I cant call him and tell him about it all. Really wish I could pick the phone up and tell him all about it but I cant. So many things have happened with members of the family since he went that he would have loved to hear about. New jobs, promotions, my pregnancy, nephew getting into a really good school etc. So unfair hes not here to hear all about it.

Sorry just a bad day and don't feel I can really talk to any of my family about it all. I would usually tell my SIL but shes just lost her dad a few weeks ago so cant really put it all on her.

Little Pink it is 7 weeks since I lot my dad. I think it is very tough to be grieving and be pregnant at the same time.
I know exactly the feeling you are talking about, about leaving him at the crem.
My dad was lovely. Would it help for you to tell me a bit about your dad? X

Hello littlepink sorry you are feeling low at the moment. I understand exactly your feelings when you see another funeral, brings back our own loss but knowing how upset another family is.
I think that the grief can hit you when you least expect it, by a bit of music, a fleeting glance of someone who looks like your dad / mum , a certain meal oh lots of things that our brain recalls when we don't expect it.
I expect your hormones are all over the place at the moment, but you have something so lovely to look forward to, that will I'm sure help you enormously ( you won't have time to think ! ) good luck with the birth, do come back and tell us when he / she is born, that is not to say you can't post in the meantime !
candy that is a lovely message to your dad.
ssd hope you are ok! would your brother let you have one of the medals ?

Thank you for the kind words. Just had a massive wobble earlier on.

All the war posts on this thread made me think of dad too. He was 10 when the war started, he was too young to go to war but he had memories of watching the young soldiers go off to war when he was evacuated. He said 3/4 of them never returned. The house next door but one back at home was flattened during the May blitz and he remembers being told a German paratrooper had landed in a nearby park but it was a false alarm. He also remembers being woken by air raid sirens going off at 3am and having to go out into the cold into the air raid shelter and how tired he would be at school the next day.

3 weeks before he died I spent the afternoon with him, just him and I and he told me many stories like this. He was a great story teller and had had a very interesting life. I miss him a lot.

How fabulous Pink that he could tell you first hand. He has passed on the essence of himself to you so he will always be with you.
He sounds like a very interesting person.
My dad was born three years after the war ended so he only remembers the rationing. He was still spoiled rotten though, as he was an only child. Apple of his mother's eye!

Good morning all ( oops it's afternoon now ) hope you all have the battens hatched down. Very very windy here at the moment. Garden is looking such a mess but can't do anything with this awful weather.
Hope you are all getting on ok and coping day by day, it's the only way to do it really isn't it.
I can't imagine what has happened to the flowers up the crem, completely ruined I would think. Also I am always worried about a big tree coming down and smashing the two headstones. Do you think that the crem are insured for things like that ? There is one right by my two graves.

Mummylin the crem would sort out any damage I am sure.
Don't forget, Neil Diamond, 9pm! X

Thanks Candy ! You reminded me to set record, I am going to watch it as well and maybe have a sing along as my dh is going out so I won't deafen him !!

I enjoyed that immensely, and best thing us I can watch it again !

Well we had a power cut so no telly for us! It's back on now thank goodness.

glad you enjoyed that mummylin!

bit wet and windy here, think the winter is kicking in.

Dry here at the moment ssd , but the rain has been horrific overnight , we actually have sunshine but it's still quite windy.

its sunny here now but has been raining heavily, hope your headstones haven't been damaged mummylin.

I hope not too ssd. I think if anything had happened the crem would get in touch , but I will be going up there on Sunday so I will see that all is as it should be. I would be devastated if anything happened to them.

I'm sure you would have heard too, try not to worry about it too much xx

Hope you are all having a nice weekend. We are doing housework things.
Maybe you can help me with a constantly recurring thought which upsets me each time. My dad was 66, he had just retired at 65 and got his new granddaughter when he was diagnosed. He had a lot to live for. He worked so hard all his life providing for his family. He had great friends who enjoyed going on holiday with them and they had lots of plans. I keep thinking he deserved better than this. He was a good man, served others all his life and loved life. To die just after retirement, in a lot of pain, leaving his beloved family when he still felt young - it really upsets me. I know it upset him, he was heartbroken.
He deserved better. Why did life treat him so harshly at the end? It seems so cruel.

Sorry for the intense post. Just need to process it, if it's at all possible.

There is no rhyme or reason Candy, it's the same awful things when little children have cancer etc. you ask yourself why does this happen.it does seem such a shame that people are looking forward to their retirement and then their lives are cut short, it seems very cruel. But I don't think there is an answer to your question.it seems that your dad had a very happy life and maybe this will comfort you in the future. Look after yourself and just take one day at a time .

today would of been mums wedding anniversary, the third year. she spent her second year anniversary in a coma and died the 16th in the afternoon. miss her so much today and in a right bad mood. how are you all

Sorry it's not a good weekend for you SM. I wish we could erase all the horrible memories and just recall all the good stuff, would help us all a lot. All ok here , had a few visitors this afternoon, still got my ds here at the moment.