Support for Anyone Who Has Lost A Parent,Everyone Welcome ( 6 )

[mummylin2495]

I can't believe we are now on another thread, where has all the time gone ?

What's up SM ? What's happened ?

finally got in touch with mums husband after months. he's moved away a couple of towns. said he couldn't stay here. all she asked was that he wasn't alone and I couldnt even do that.

Don't blame yourself for him moving away, he is an adult and made his own choice. He is the one who stopped your nan putting something at the cemetery and he has chosen to practically cut himself off from you all since then. There is nothing you could of done.life is different now he dosent have your mum and in a way I expect your mum was the link between you and him. Now that is broken and he is choosing to move. He probably feels that there is nothing for him where he lives now. It's certainly not your fault.

was the one thing she hated the thought of most, him being left alone again. feeling really shitty tonight even though I understand why he's left and that he coukdnt stay, now there is someone else living in mums house and I didn't even know. how are you linn? x

I'm ok at the moment, my brother not had his apt through yet, my sister holding her own and friend is recovering from breast op, but dosent know what treatment is coming next, what a bloody week last week was!
To please your mum , just send him a card and write that you hope he will be happy in his new home and wish him all the best, not much else you can do really . And you are not responsible for him.

am glad that everyone is doing okay and hope that your brothers appointment is through soon. glad to hear your sister is doing okay and your friend too a very worrying time. I know you probably feel a bit like you can't help them but you do and are just by being there.

Hope your brothers apt goes ok lin and your friend with the breast op will be thinking of you. Chat to us to offload. Keep us posted. God tough going my dad is going on holiday with his club tomorrow without my mum just kills me inside. It's starrring me in the face that she isn't here. I know she isn't but I try skirting over as it's painful remembering her and taking her close to me but to think of her absolutely gone just bloody kills. :(

Sm I'm with lin there isn't anything you can do if he wants to move away. Just say always here and swap email addresses and phone numbers.

Hi to everyone else thinking of you all xx

Hi T will let you know what happens with brother and friend. I am watching x - factor and they sang the song which Leona Lewis sung. It's such a sad song and makes me think of my mum, it bought a lump to my throat. Probably didn't help that I went to do the flowers at the crem . Hope you are doing ok, I'm sure your dad will be fine, he is brave to attempt it.

Ok lin yeah we're here for you Hun. Not seen X factor yet I'm sure it will choke me up though. You raise me up on strictly last night wAs hard to hear.

Yeah I know about my dad I'm very apprehensive for him I think he is regretting it now sort of.. I'm trying hard not to think of it.

I had a big vase of blooming flowers and some how the cat knocked it off not sure how but my god the water was everywhere hence to say I wasn't impressed!! Lol
I can add to X factor when I've finished watching ?? x

hope your dad gets on okay on holiday t875, he's really being brave doing this, my fingers are crossed he enjoys it xx

am really really missing mum and dad these days, this just doesnt go away, does it

am thinking of you all, trying to move on whatever that is, but not really getting anywhere...

Oh ssd it does hit doesn't it. I can't imagine losing both. They are together Hun we know this but I know it doesn't help some days as they are not here physically with us. Big hugs and always here for you. They are with you too. Remember them lovely bright flowers but them for your self and that little cafe where you get your cake.
Thinking if you
Yeah my dad is brave I've found it hard and I still am. It kills to think she isn't with him trying to stay mechanical thinking about it all but it is hard too.

Thinking of everyone. Lots of love to all xx

thanks t875. I'm sorry I've not been about much, I just feel low a lot and dont have anything nice or helpful to say, I've turned into a bitter old mess! I dont like it but cant seem to get myself out of it, so keep to myself a lot these days. I know you're feeling it too, its so awful to miss them so much. I know we all have that in common, I'm just stuck in getting over things, it just goes on and on with no conclusion. I think of everyone on this thread often, I hope we all turn a corner soon xxx

sorry just read that back, what I mean is I know you're missing your mum too, not that your turning into a bitter old moan like me!! hope it didnt sound like that, I'd never say anything like that, I'm just talking about myself here xxx

Hi everyone.
Sorry to read you are so down ATM....I know how you feel :(
Yet another funeral last Friday - at the same crem as dad's...oooof. It was very hard.
Mum lost another family member (her bil) and was at his funeral last weds.
It's just unrelenting.
My eldest nephew is now having issues (along the same lines as ds2) so my sister is taking Him To the gp this morning.
All in all, things are pretty rubbish.
Hope I have nicer stuff to post next time.
Love to all x

for you badvoc, what a lot you've had to deal with, I shouldn't moan in comparison..really hope things turn around for you soon xx

Hello everyone, it's so nice to know you are all around. Lots of problems this end for people around me, but not for me personally. My brother has a skin cancer, which luckily will be cut away, but it was a shock as he had hodgkins when he was younger and it bought those memories back. My sister is going through another bout of depression ( she is bi - polar ) hopefully she will not be hospitalised this time as she has the little girls now. She is seeing to physciatric people. A friend we grew up with went for routine mammogram and it was found she has breast cancer. Her mum was my mums best friend . And yet another friend has just been to the inquest of the man she was seeing ( she is married ) and today it's splashed all over the local paper as her son sent some nasty texts to man concerned, and now my nieces ex has threatened to stab my niece and her dh ! Police are involved. All this happened in last couple of weeks . Never rains but it pours. Apart from these things everything is fine !

Sounds nightmarish Lin!
Ssd...of course you can complain. Life is crap sometimes isn't it?
One of my sisters friends fell over in her house last week, hit her head and her Dh found her dead when he got home form work.
It's her funeral on Friday.
Every day really is a gift.
X

Oh that sounds awful about your sisters friend badvoc, so much sad news around for everyone.we really do have to live for the moment don't we. Sorry to see about your nephew.

you're right mummylin, we should live with the moment, but sometimes its so hard to do, isn't it...I feel like I've got a black cloud over me sometimes and no one notices, have thought about going to my gp, but when I asked them for bereavement counselling she just gave me a general leaflet, was no use at all...I think for me time is the only answer, but my God its taking a long time!! how are you doing, is your sister coping with the twins and her feelings? That must be so hard for her, and for you. And you brother and friends , such a lot happening for you ...I hope you have real life support, you are so good at supporting us all on here, I hope you get some yourself xx

I am fine ssd I am usually ok coping with things when it's others involved!
Sister is away with her family this week, brother is still waiting for his apt to have the area removed, and friend is at the hospital this morning for her apt following a lumpectomy. Hopefully that will be the end of it for her. I am beginning to feel sad as it's the month mum died now. But I know it will be ok , I've got through it twice before now . Dosent seem possible .

Ssd....have you tried contacting your local hospice?
They often provide bereavement counselling.
My eldest nephew is now on the list for counselling as is ds2 :(
Don't think ds2 will be seen til near Xmas :(
It's my b day next week and I feel quite odd about it.
It almost feels wrong to look forward to it, ditto Xmas.
Anyone else feel like that?

I was watching " this morning " programme today and people were phoning in who had lost a parent, they all felt just like us, it was quite upsetting to hear the heartbreak in their calls. Denise ( can't remember her surname ) said when a death is a shock it causes trauma I think she is right, and she said there are two things to deal with, grief and trauma. One in particular upset me , it was a man about his mum, he was just so upset and it was 18 months ago I think he said. So we are all normal it appears and all that we have felt / feel is the norm.

I don't think there is a "normal" when it comes to grief tbh.
I have been very upset and surprised by my cousins reaction and behaviour after my aunts death.
But, who is to say I am right and she is wrong?
Is it because I am still struggling so much with dads death that I resent people who can "move on"?
I wish I had seen that Lin...will it be on catch up do you think?
X

You may be able to get the programme on I player or maybe itv website. One other option is that it may be on YouTube. Give those a try. Yes you are right about everyone being different, some people really cope well and can accept it quite quickly. I myself can never accept it.

It's on itv player , I just looked .