Our special thread where we can be who we are. A thread to remember our children who are no longer physically here. Our 'safe haven.'

[shabbs]

United we stand.....divided we fall. My love to all of you - a place to remember our precious children and to help each other walking this 'crappy path.'

Hello Shiney. Sending you lots of love. I've been here since November when my ds died. It does help being here. just knowing you're in a safe place. Xxx

We have and we have one for ourselves. We have not filled ours yet, but the boys have a cd of Pips fave songs, I purchased her fave books so they have those, we will keep the originals. The order of service from her funeral a dressing up outfit (she always had one on) a cd of every photo of her and I will eventually do a specific album for each of them and a toy.
We have packaged all her belongings up and they are in the attic in the new house till our extension is built and then we are having a blanket box made for the bottom of our bed to put everything in, we want her precious stuff to still be accessible for the boys to look at, esp Elliott as he was so little. The play room is still full of all her toys as they are meant to be played with and it's lovely seeing Aubrey tell Elliott about specific toys.
The boys books took a few months todo and I didn't start them straight away just put stuff aside. We also have a memory book which was at the funeral for people to write their memories of Pippa in, we are still yet to read it. Hope this helps.

cathpip You've done so much for those gorgeous boys, I know its hard with it almost being a year since that tragic night, and Elliott's first birthday but the things you've done to date are amazing. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for and each time you post to help someone else, you come away, that little bit more courageous to face what is ahead of you all lovely lady xxx

Morning girls xx

I have two boxes - one has Gareths tiny clothes in and little memories of him. The other has Matts disgustingly dirty school bag He had only had that bag for about 3 months. It is filthy and the zip has broken!! Inside there is one black PE plimsoll which is not even his, and his school coat......in the pocket there is a dried up dead worm, an empty packet of scampi fries (or scabby fries as he used to call them) and various bits of fluff and muck.

I have all the cards I was sent....all the letters and little notes from people who didnt even know us.

I think that, in time, a memory box is lovely. xx

Hello can I join you lovely ladies please? My precious baby girl, was still born just over two weeks ago. She was going to be my fourth and last baby, and the children were so looking forward to having a tiny sibling. I am struggling with not being with her right now. My milk came in on the morning of her funeral, and although it has now gone, I feel as if by eating myself I'd be cheating on her. My DH has started work again today, I am alone with the children and I can feel the panick rising in my chest. I am trying to keep things normal for them but I am failing.
I am so sorry that you are all missing precious children too

Glad you came 3littlebadgers but, as I always say, so sorry you had to.

Its been many years since I lost my two boys - a 7month old twin DS who died 32 years ago due to the congenital heart defects he was born with and then 22 years ago my DS3 (he was almost 8 years old) was killed by a reversing lorry. I thought I would never be able to smile again, the smallest problem would 'flatten me' and every day was a massive effort. I dont like the saying 'time heals' but time softens this grief around the edges - if that makes any sense?

Sending my love to you xxx

There are some days when you wish it was all, ALL over..... there are no rights or wrongs. There are no reasons for you to lose your child or children. When you've miscarried, they are supposed to put a teardrop on the front of your file.

I didn't have that, even though I had two miscarriages, and actually lost three wonderful, wrigley, fidgety boys at 16+5 weeks. Charlie, Harry and George.

Our precious, wonderful and truly amazing little boy, who was finally been born five years ago with the most complex of special need and additional requirements, was given one of his deceased brothers middle names and we have so many things that remind us of the three of them.

Lights on a Christmas Tree at Christmas, ribbons on the tree throughout the year, butterflies are always attracted to the tree that the boys are settled at.

It's amazing to watch. They dance and sit there, almost holding onto the branches for hours on end during sunny days.

Life is strange when your children leave your life. You see life through rose tinted lenses. You see calm, you see love, you see, stillness, you see love and feel life and peace like never before....

I'm so sorry for you Badgers - please take every little bit of love and solace from this thread, every word that is said, each time we welcome a new parent/grandparent into our thread that we do care.

We really do care for you. Anniversaries come and go, Cathpip - who I finally forgave for having Elliott's super exploding nappy thrown at my feet moments before Pippa's funeral, was actually a little bit of real life that we all needed to take the pressure off the event that was about to happen!

Luckily, the funeral chaps were bloody marvelous, clearly having children of their own and seemed to sweep said explosive nappy out of the view of all within seconds of it being dealt with.

The fact that Cathpip remembers that one event speaks volumes to me...... it says to me that her wonderful motherhood, was on hold for that brief moment in time and she just dealt with a shitty nappy!!!

Cathpip - you know that I would not have been there for you that day no matter what.

The same goes for all of the friends that have shared the loses that the rest of this thread have felt.

Anyway,it's time for bed here...... with my fractured/broken/whatever hand.... we'll soon find out on Monday.

Night gorgeous ladies, you keep me going, day in, day out. Thank you so very much for being You xxx

Shabbs, shiney, and mouseface, thank you for the kind welcome. My heart breaks reading of your losses too. It just seems so unfair. I hope our children are together smiling down on us and giving us strength. DS2's birthday today, in one of the parcels from friends abroad, was a pair of baby booties and a welcome note for my baby girl. I just didn't expect it. Things like that are happening a lot recently.
Shiney, very early days for you too. I hope you are being kind to yourself too, I look forward to a day when we can get through the day without all of those crushing feelings and just be at peace loving our angels.

3, it's Elliott's first birthday on Tuesday, and although I am struggling massively at the moment I am determined that it is celebrated. Last year when Elliott was ten days old our dd Pippa died suddenly from sepsis after catching pneumonia, she was three. Pippa and her older brother Aubrey were so excited about Elliott, and everything was perfect for a few days and then our world just fell apart. Condolence cards outnumbered the new baby cards, both myself and my dh have grieved so differently, I went into over protective auto pilot with the boys, I think my head was just saying "I've lost one child, by god I'm not loosing anymore".
The ladies on this thread have been a tremendous help to me And supported me through some very dark days. Just knowing that you are not alone and that what you are feeling is perfectly natural sometimes makes all the difference.

Oh cathpip, to have one born and one taken away so close to each other must be hellish. I hope Elliot has a lovely birthday. I am just doing a tiny party, so it is celebrated and he gets his best friends over, but in a way I can cope with I hope.

To 3 and shiney - I am so sorry for your loss.

Shiney, I wanted to say I'm thinking of you for the funeral tomorrow - I am ahead in time from where you are. I'll think of you tomorrow and send you a virtual hug. It will be shit but I also hope you have the ability to share wonderful memories of your DD and celebrate all she was and still is to you.

3 - take care of yourself at this time. Write whenever you need.

Cathpip - anniversaries are so hard and to have Pippa's passing so close to the joyous celebration of Elliott's birthday will be harder still. I'm thinking of you. Your amazing strength and fortitude will see you through. Hugs to you and then even more hugs. Be kind to yourself and tell the world to get knotted if that is what you have to do.

Hi 3. I'm so sorry about your precious DD, but at least you've found us here. This is a safe place to be, to say anything you need or want to say and you'll only find kindness, love and support.

Hope you're all doing ok and are feeling calm.

Hi shabbs - hope you're ok.

I'm calm at the moment and worry that it won't last. Anybody taking bets?

Sending love to you all. XXX

Shiney, I hope today goes beautifully. I hope it brings you peace.

To the rest of you lovely ladies, I also hope today goes beautifully and brings you peace.

19 days since my tiny girl was born asleep. The first time I heard that phrase, born asleep, I thought how lovely, such a peaceful way to be born. In my naive mind I imagined that the baby just woke up later and did all of the normal newborn things. How I wish that was true. I would give anything to just have heard her cry or seen her eyes. Why did I not open her eyes? Was I scared of what I would see? Scared of my own child? Some days I feel as if I can't breathe from the overwhelming feeling of this grief and yet I am still here, far from her.

I miss her too too much.

Love to her and all of our precious children x

Thinking about you all today. xx

Just found this and thought how true it was....especially for those of us further down 'the line.' xx

Beautiful

for shiney today along with all the rest of us who need to know we are not alone.

I was thinking of you today shiney. I hope that today was everything you wanted it to be for your DD.

Thinking about you today Shiney, xx

Sorry to intrude ladies I just wanted to say I think you are all amazing. Xx

Shiney I came on to say you and your DH were amazing today and did DD1 proud. Don't stress over your LO he gave us all a chuckle.

shiney I have been thinking about you a lot today, I hope that everything went as well as you could of wished for.

Shiney, my friend said that when it rains at a funeral it is a good sign that she is happy. The fact that it was windy too, maybe she was trying to prove that point even more. I hope the flash backs stop soon, I know how distressing they can be.
Have a good day ladies x