Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

[mummylin2495]

Here we are , our new home

Aww I love that LittlePink :) I agree, messages can pop up - my mum lost a friend to cancer (it took my granddad too!) a year ago. On the anniversary of L's death, my mum heard the song that was played at her funeral while she was out shopping.

She'd not heard it for a year, and thinks it was L saying hi :)

Of course you can steal the idea littlepink ... We planted our cherry tree when my dad died, in his memory. I find comfort in talking to the tree and putting flowers there on special days.

Oh I just want to cry :( A thread about buying bikes for children has got me thinking about the problems I had learning to ride a bike, and how much my granddad helped and supported me :(

One time, every time I wanted to show my mum how I was doing, I'd fall off. I eventually got upset and my granddad said, "LV, can I have a go of your bike?" and rode this tiny purple bike round the garden to cheer me up.
I've still got the pictures.

Miss him so, so much :(

And writing that has actually set me off!

Hello All
(It's badvoc here, this is my new nn...)
I am thinking of so many of us with Father's Day around the corner.
My first without dad.
I am dreading it.
SM...I am so sorry that your little ds is still struggling. You are spot on with everything you have said. My ds2 (5) is also struggling. I have come to the conclusion (as you have) that I am his best and on,y advocate and so I have contacted a local bereavement centre for kids and he has an appt on 9th July.
It may not help, but at least I feel I am doing something for him.
Could you ask the school nurse or your gp if there is anything like that near you?
I have my first counselling appt on Tuesday!!!
I had my assessment last Tuesday and they rang me in Thursday and offered me the appt in Tuesday.
No idea if it will help.
But I have to do something.
I feel so very alone.

good luck with the counselling badvoc, let us know how you get on x

Will try and catch up tomorrow. Been away for a surprise party, trouble is the pub we stayed in was right on the pavement sort of thing, huge room but tiny windows and it was so hot and stuffy. So dh and I are feeling worn out !!

hope you had a good sleep last night then mummylin!

I certainly did ssd I was already to watch soccer aid , but I fell asleep. It was horrible feeling so tired . It was not somewhere we booked ourselves, dh,s brother booked it. They were very friendly and helpful it was just all the noise, we could hear people's conversations. A dog barking continuously opposite , cars driving down and at one point someone peeped their horn all the way down the road ! And the room was so hot , very old fashioned windows which were so tiny so we couldn't get any air in. But apart from that we had a good time !
Sorry to see we have so many people who are struggling, it will be strange to call badvoc by a new name ! Off to do some housework now and empty weekend bags.

I walked past someone in the supermarket today and he smelt over poweringly just like my dad. I turned round and he was dressed exactly the way my dad used to. Same sort of trousers, shirt and even a flat cap. My dad always used to wear a cap when he went out. He even looked similar. Its weird when you see people who look like your lost loved one. I could have just stared at him for ages but that would have been a bit odd.

Has anyone had anything like that happen?

I haven't had exactly the same thing, but now and again I catch a whiff of my grandads pipe tobacco. Brings back happy memories of my childhood . Now and again I catch sight of someone with white hair, like my mum had and wearing similar clothes, it does make you want to stare.

Hi guys. My god it's hard me getting on now. Got Youngests birthday this week, my dads this week which was so hard with out my mum being his 70th too, i really didnt know how i was going to cope.

We had a lot of signs that she was around. Which helped. I brought a candle for my dad as a little touch from my mum and after he'd opened it I could smell strongly a candle burning.
I know she was around. Still blooming hard though.

Hope everyone is going along the best they can, fathers day I can imagine is so hard like mothers day is to us without our dear mums, im thinking of you all and sending you all hugs

I really like that song by Michael buble, i am a massive believer in signs and messages from out loved ones that have passed. Yes it doesn't work for me atall sometimes as its too hard and i miss her physcially like cazy.

ssd, biscuits, will be in touch very soon, but im always here. hi mummylin, super, water, crazy, mouse, badvoc,
Hi to all on the thread and lurking, sending you huge hugs
after this week I will be around a lot more. xx

Ive smelt random smells, perfume, roast dinner when we are not even cooking one, baked cakes again i wasnt baking cakes, but me and my mum liked cooking and she loved a roast dinner, i smell the candle magnolia like its lit and giving off a smell but its not lit.

badvoc - Dornishwine.
all the best for your councilling, let us know how it goes. How is your mum doing now? All the best for DS too for the councilling, i phoned winstons wish for a bit of advise as dd eldest was quite angry and bitter but she was dealing with hormones too. But they sent a good book called 'muddy puddles'

mummylin glad you enjoyed your time away, does sound very busy for you. i forgot about soccer aid!!! We were watching BTCC. x

hi t, nice to see you again. I too believe in signs, I was talking to my neighbours last week and was upset, then a wee robin flew down and landed near me, I just knew it was a sign from my mum, or dad! I hadnt seen a robin before that for months. I hope your dads birthday went as well as possible, its so hard sometimes isnt it

littlepink, I haven't really seen anyone like mum or dad, but recently my car has been in a garage, a new one we've been using, its really old fashioned and smells of old tools and oil, just like my dads old workshop, I was telling the old guy who works there it reminded me of my dad but I think he thought I was a bit mad...

hugs to us all here..

Hello ssd :-) great to head from you. Yeah I believe that was a sign to let you know they are there. Once my crazy life of birthdays my anniversary with hubby I'll b back in par chatting and being here a lot more xx

Hi all,

how are things?

I got a small package in the post yesterday which I thought was strange as hadn't ordered anything. I had spoke on facebook about how ds was struggling the last few weeks especially this week, anyway in the package was a pillowcase made with a photo of my mum and ds saying I love my nanna. I had no idea who had sent it and after asking my nan and sister posted and found out it was a friend who used to work with my mum, was so lovely of her to do that for him and hes had it with him since really made me smile knowing that someone was thinking of her and of ds.

That is so thoughtful of her! What a lovely thing to send.

The robin was definitely a sign from your parents. I strongly believe in signs. My mum had lots of signs from my dad after he went. One was finding a tiny, silver dragonfly charm on the kitchen floor whilst she was sweeping up. She'd only swept the night before and it hadn't been there then and nobody had been in since. He had said to her a few weeks before he died "you're the charm in my bracelet". Strange thing for him to say because he wasn't a bracelet wearing man, neither was he one for fluffy, romantic talk so it really took mum aback. Then she found the charm the morning after his funeral. Funnily enough, it went missing later on. She searched for it everywhere, it was missing for 4 weeks then it suddenly turned up in the place she left it........????

And significantly enough the day it turned back up was the morning she was picking up his ashes from the funeral parlour.

SMwhat a lovely thing for your ds to recieve, what a thoughtful gift, hope it will make a difference for your ds .
pink there are several of us on this thread that associate the robin with our loved ones. We actually have one engraved on my mums headstone.

Tssdbiscuits waterlego dornish marshy ( I hope you are ok ) shabbs mytwo and anyone else I have missed I hope you are all getting through day by day and getting stronger . Thinking of you all

Ah sm what a lovely gift from your friend. I also would look to that maybe someone was whispering in her ear. I've had random gifts from a friend in 2012 after my mum passing I truly believe they were via my mum. I bumped into this friend when id be up the shops and I'd be crying she worked on a stall handbags ect and she bought be different times a scarf and a bracelet. I get feelings anyway and I really feel it was weird and believe they were via my mum too.

Pink I and my dad have had a lot of signs since my mum passed. I get random hearts in different types of ways. Like tonight it's youngest a birthday tomorrow and I've been decorating the house with 'frozen' banners balloon etc and I found a random star sticker on me. I don't know where it's come from and don't recall coming into contact with any stickers.

The other day I was sorting through photo albums of my mums in the cupboard and I lifted it up and there's was a 1 p piece and the year was 2004. That is the year my youngest was born.. Again god knows how that coin got there..
I loved the story of the charm. I totally believe it and it wowed me pink. Although sad too for your mums loss.

Hi mummylin. How are you and your family?
Hi to everyone else and Shabs who I forgot on last visit brains mush!! X

Meant to also say sm hope ds is getting on ok. And badvoc thinking if you hoe the councilling for your and your son goes ok. Here if you need to off load xx

Coins turning up in odd places are messages too. The star sticker is funny. It amazes me how its possible for these things to happen. I love it though. Brings me a lot of comfort if I think theres been a message or a visitation in a dream.

argh I am so annoyed right now, been out babysitting since half four forgot to take my tea so have had none got home and the fucking house looks like a bomb has gone off no kidding. all the clean washing has been chucked on my bedroom floor not even piled up just everywhere, the washing off the line is in a puddle of blackcurrant juice. the bathroom is a complete state mud water and all sorts everywhere . kids weren't even asleep and dp has just stomped to bed not speaking to me because I said he was taking the piss. am on the couch and absolutely raging

Oh SM I another surprised you are fuming, I bloody well would be too. Your DP will have to take your washing to launderette and get it done again. Honest to god. Men seem to think that what we do isn't important . You staying on the couch for the night, think I would be. Was there any food left ready for you ?

couldnt be bothered doing it by the time is sorted the place out so just having breakfast now. don't know what's happening he's like a different person lately