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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent ( 5 )

985 replies

mummylin2495 · 26/01/2014 17:50

Here we are , our new home

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5
supermariossister · 30/05/2014 21:22

I am sure they are very proud of you it takes a strong person to keep on going when in reality we would like to pull a duvet over our head and stay in bed. it's a conflicting feeling though isn't it missing someone so much but knowing they are no longer suffering.

mummylin2495 · 30/05/2014 21:43

I am sure your parents are proud of you mytwo you are the person you are because of them, they are never truly gone because you carry their genes , same for us all.

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mummylin2495 · 01/06/2014 21:23

Hope everyone is ok, I myself caught some bug and have felt quite ill since thurs night, but feeling a lot better today thank god. Have even missed going to the crem today, but will go tomorrow instead. It's very rare that I miss it. I'm sure all the flowers will all be dead. Take care everyone

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shabbs · 03/06/2014 08:29

Morning girls xx

Not posted for so long! Mum did a 'bid for freedom' from the nursing home at the weekend - she fell and scraped the side of her face in her efforts. She was, it seems, heading for my house. Nursing home are in big trouble (although I personally think that my Mum is crafty and will get out of anywhere.) Brother is talking about moving her closer to him - although how that will stop someone with Alzheimers from trying to escape is beyond me. Feel like screaming - its a very frustrating situation.

How my poor Dad coped with looking after Mum and battling cancer I will never know. xxxx

ssd · 03/06/2014 08:39

hi everyone

I've just been reading a thread about something Kirsty Allsop said about girls going to uni, or not actually, anyway everyones getting their knickers in a twist about what she said so I read the article from the paper she was in. I only seen the first bit, the bit where she was talking about her mum recently dying. I thought she was spot on about what she said, I'll copy and paste for you to read.

"dy Fiona Hindlip was 66 when she succumbed to breast cancer after a 25-year battle. “And, you know, my mother’s life wasn’t defined by cancer in any shape or form. She got it, she had it, she was fit and healthy. She was staggeringly brave. But I can’t sort of…” Allsopp breaks off for a bit. “You’re very close to your mum, aren’t you? And you can’t take that away from someone. It’s appalling. Losing your mum is --. As a lifestyle choice, it’s just --. There is no way of getting away from that. But her extraordinary bravery is something that I admire so much.”
Allsopp was only 17 when her mother was first diagnosed. “I can’t say how our lives or her life would have been different,” she says. “It’s just what it was.” One day – not now, it’s still too soon – she would like to write something about how Britain deals with dying, in the same vein as Jessica Mitford’s The American Way of Death.
“We don’t get it right in this country. We don’t get it right by any stretch of the imagination. In fact,” says Allsopp, gathering pace, “we may get it more wrong than any other country in the entire world. And so I think that there is a moment to just do something and say: 'OK, this is how it’s done in Turkey,’ for example. They are buried immediately in the Muslim and Jewish traditions. And then for 30 or 40 days you stay at home, everyone comes round and they all talk about the person who has died. I think you need that.”
She remembers the first day she went out after her mother died “and nobody said anything. My mum left very specific instructions to be buried within 24 hours. But with most people, nobody is in touch with you for seven days, because that’s the sacred period between death and the funeral when nobody thinks they are important enough to be in touch with you."

I just agree with her so much. No one talks about your mum after shes died, maybe they cant face it, but its so painful to have people you thought were close to you ignore the worst thing thats ever happened to you and expect you to carry on like you've lost a tenner in the street. There should be something done about this, I hope Kirsty writes a book on it. I hated the way my mum was never mentioned and brushed under the carpet, I still cant speak to a cousin I've always been really close to who bar sending me a card, virtually ignored my mum dying, like it was a minor blip. Or my niece who wrote "mums and dads are great" on her facebook page 2 weeks after my mum died, knowing I'd see it. I'm not trying to be all poor me and dramatic, but I cant forgive and forget, I just keep a few people, mainly family, at a distance now, I cant take them anymore.

I know from being on here a while we all have experiences of this. Its just bloody unnecessary. It the worst time in our lives and people dont see it. I just dont get it.

Anyway, how are you all doing here? mummylin, sorry to read you havent been feeling well, hope your feeling a bit better by now. mycats, I know how you feel, I've lost both mum and dad and I really hope they are together up there somewhere. Its awful, I know.

hugs to all of us here, I hope we can keep the thread going, even if its just to pop into. I know sometimes posting here is hard, as for me anyway it feels I'm going over the same stuff over and over again and not getting anywhere with it.

xx

shabbs · 03/06/2014 09:02

ssd - Kirsty Alsop is speaking a lot of truth. They were all debating it on tv yesterday - she said that, IN HER OPINION, women should have their children early on and then go back to Uni. I think she was trying to say that sometimes it is harder to conceive children the older you get. Everybody did have their 'knickers in a twist' about what she said Hmm

What she has written about her Mum is so true.....and so sad.

I am struggling without my Dad....seemed to have physically aged so much since April this year. Mum, because of the Alzheimers, 'left us' about two years ago. As weird as this may sound I hope that her life does not go on and on whilst all the time struggling with this revolting illness.

Life is such a crock of shite poo at times isint it? xxxx

ssd · 03/06/2014 16:16

it is shabbs Sad

re the Kirsty Allsop thing, TBH I didnt pay much attention to what she was saying about uni as I didnt go to uni or have a career or have my kids young, so none of it applied to me!! It was the bit about losing her mum that gripped me, I dont know anyone else who's world has fell apart when they lost their mums and I sort of home in on anything like her article with regards that, like I need proof I'm not mad and its normal to be devastated when your mum dies instead of going back to work the next week like nothing happened (my siblings)..

anyway what I thought about when reading your post, do you go on forum.alzheimers.org.uk? its called talking point, and its brilliant. I think you'd find so much there you recognise. xx

BiscuitsandBaileys · 04/06/2014 10:31

Hi all.
Been a long time since I've been on here.

How are you ssd? Thanks for copying that bit of the article it's really interesting. I will never know how people can ignore a life changing event, I had people at work and other mums at the school who knew full well what had happened and didn't say a word to me! Just a little "I'm sorry to hear about your mum/dad" would have been fine but no, not a word Angry

mytwo I was the same age as you when my dad died, and my mum the year before. I felt so cheated and still do sometimes. Thinking of you x

Hope everyone else is going along ok, t, super, badvoc, lin and many more xx

supermariossister · 04/06/2014 12:48

Hi all, sorry I haven't been around much the app not working made me not spend so much time on here but its back up now. how are you all doing?

nice to see you back biscuits :)

The situation with mums husband not improved much, spoke by text and I said I had new bulbs to plant for next year and he said it gets too cramped so I took that as he didn't want me to. really wound me up because now I feel like I cant do it. I cant afford fresh flowers every week and planting things was my way of keeping it nice and knowing it will stay there. so feeling shitty haven't been up there for weeks because it feels like I cant do anything to it. otherwise things are okay.

mummylin2495 · 04/06/2014 23:41

Hi everyone, biscuitshow lovely to see you, glad you are doing ok.
SM I don't know what to suggest that you can do, could you maybe plant something in a pot , like a busy Lizzy that will last for ages and take that to the grave. Don't feel you can't go there, you are perfectly entitled to, it's your mum, your SF will have to accept that others are missing her too not just him.
ssd I think you have had a rotten time all in all, made far worse by your siblings. It should of been a time you all pulled together, but obviously they didnt feel like that and left you to grieve alone and sort everything out . I know it's hurtful to you, but don't spend anymore time even thinking about them, they don't deserve anyone's thoughts in this instance.
shabbs I am sorry to hear your mum fell. Her health must be a real worry for you. It must be awful to see your mum and remember how she used to be before her illness took hold. Has your brother calmed down now ?
Thinking of everyone who is grieving, take care of yourselves

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supermariossister · 06/06/2014 09:14

massive blow out with dp this morning, to put it mildly he is absolutely doing my fucking head in Angry. ds has been really upset last few days. crying at night missing his nanna and all I've had off family is the following : he goes to bed too late, he got told off at school, he needs to eat better, he wanted to do something he wasn't allowed, dp included in saying all those things. or could it be that he just really misses his nanna and is now at an age when he realises death means never coming back and he's struggling. not that any of them want to help me deal with it they'd rather slag off my parenting and blame it on vegetables or xbox. not one single person understands how it feels and I am fed up of being the only one fighting his corner

mummylin2495 · 06/06/2014 10:08

Sorry to hear that SM. I think part if the problem is that for your DP it wasn't an earth shattering time, it wasnt his mum so of course don't feel anywhere near the same grief. My dh was the same, yes he was sad as he got on well with my mum, but it's not the same.
I think maybe if your ds is still so disturbed he needs to see someone who deals with counselling for children. You are in a difficult position really and have to balance everything up for your ds, what you don't want is your ds blaming everything that goes wrong for him on the fact his nanny died. You know your ds best and you can only do what you think is the right thing. Hope the day gets better x

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supermariossister · 06/06/2014 10:12

I'm staying out of his way I'm so annoyed right now. I don't expect ds to be allowed to do what he wants or to blame everything on missing mum but all it would of took was him maybe saying well lets get some flowers or do something in the memory garden instead of making out that he's doing it because he's sulking about something else. I don't know whether he needs to speak to someone perhaps he does but it feels so wrong that he can't even have a cry or feel sad without being accused of laying it on. how are you today Lin?

mummylin2495 · 06/06/2014 10:49

I think some people just don't get it SM , and until it happens to them they don't have a clue how devastating it is. I am ok, of course I will always miss her and feel sad, my life will never be the same. And because I saw her the most it affected me deeply.sometimes I have a few tears still and I suppose I always will, but thankfully I have a close family which helped a lot. I do get very annoyed that others don't take mum flowers, but it may be that they all know that I will do it, they didnt use to go to my sisters either, but I promised mum a long time ago I would always see to my sisters grave when mum wasnt here, and I will stick to that promise. It's easy really both graves are next to each other so it's no problem to make both look pretty. I always have a little chat to them both when I am there.

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mummylin2495 · 06/06/2014 10:53

How is your mums little garden ? Have you planted it up or are there things growing there already ? I have planted some petunia. Busy lizzies and another little plant I can't remember what it's called, so that part will be ok through the summer, it's just the vases I will have to see to.

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supermariossister · 06/06/2014 13:11

yeah it looks quite good that rogue rose that grew from cut plants actually has a flower which is very confusing but guess what started growing in there? bloody potatoes. god knows where they came from I've taken them out haha. I'm glad you get to go and chat there sometimes it's all you need isn't it

PuddingandPie1 · 06/06/2014 15:48

I have posted elsewhere about how I lost my twin brother 50 years ago. I "lost" my Mother that day in the sense that she never recovered from Stephen's death. She was restless and sad for the rest of her life becoming ever more estranged from the rest of us. There was a short spell after I got married when I thought she was getting better but it didn't last. She never saw my children, through her own choice, and I saw her no more than half a dozen times in the last 5 years of her life. You always remember the last time you see a parent. I was on the way back from a conference and I called in to see her. She seemed OK enough but died within a fortnight. She was found dead sitting in the arm chair and she seemed to have died peacefully. My Dad went on into his 80s, he and Mum had divorced a long time previously, and he died in his sleep.

mummylin2495 · 06/06/2014 17:01

Hello pudding I guess the loss of your twin was devastating for your mum and and something that she never recovered from. This probably blighted her life. Sometimes it's hard not to concentrate on the living, but spend your time thinking of what we have lost rather than what we have got. I am sorry that your mum and you had a distance between you and it's very sad she didnt see her grandchildren.
Life can be so sad through one tragic happening in our life. All you can so is as you say remember the last time you saw her when she seemed to be quite happy.
Did your dad get to meet your children ?

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PuddingandPie1 · 06/06/2014 17:43

Yes my dad saw his grand children quite often. He lived quite close by and, after the divorce from my mum, made a new life for himself. He never talked that much about Stephen: except to me towards the end of his life. He wasn't particularly religious but he fully expected to see Stephen again when he died. I hope he did as my dad was a decent man who didn't deserve much of the sadness that came his way.

mummylin2495 · 06/06/2014 19:11

My mum also believed she would meet up wth my sister who died at 26. I hope my mum got her wish and your dad got his too.

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frazzledbutcalm · 07/06/2014 07:29

I lost my dad a year ago today. I didn't think I'd be so upset and crying today already Sad

supermariossister · 07/06/2014 08:01

hi frazzled, it shocked me how upset I was on the anniversary as I thought it would just be a normal day so I can totally understand how you feel. you are perfectly entitled to feel sad and angry today, hope today passes as easily as it can and you can have some time to think

LollipopViolet · 07/06/2014 11:27

Anyone else not looking forward to Father's Day? It'll be the first one where I've got no one to send a card to - my granddad was my dad basically, I don't know my actual dad.

That being said, I might be out with friends at a skating competition where one of our friends is taking part. That'll take my mind off it :)

The plum and pear trees my granddad helped us plant are flowering for the first time ever, especially the pear tree in our Angel Garden :)

frazzledbutcalm · 07/06/2014 13:23

Hi super ... thank you. Shocked is the right word. I miss my dad and think about him every single day. But get by and get on with every day life, as you do. I assumed today would just be like normal, maybe a bit emotional. I wasn't prepared for the huge range of emotions from very early on in the day! We've all written messages on a helium balloon, tied it to our cherry tree that we planted in memory of my dad, planning on letting it loose later in the day. We've been across to the beach for coffee and ice cream .. when we've come back home the balloon has been taken away already by the wind. I'm happy with that. Smile
Lolli .. Father's Day is difficult. I usually put flowers next to our tree. Hope you get through the day as best you can. Sending hugs your way.

LittlePink · 07/06/2014 16:50

I feel sad seeing all the fathers day cards in the shops. Ive got no one to buy for this year. That's a great idea about putting flowers by the tree. I might steal that idea if that's ok? My dads tree will flower every time its his anniversary in april. Its a magnolia tree.

Im really attached to a song at the moment and have printed it out with a picture of my dad standing on the beach and put it in his special box of my memories of him. My sister felt the need to buy lots of crockery when he died that reminded her of her childhood. Replicas of old tea cups and saucers from the 60s that had smashed over the years and that was her catharsis. Mine was to do a box and when I feel I need to be close to him I sit and go through the box. Anyway, I digress. The song. I keep hearing it and they say to keep an ear out for songs being repeated all the time as it may be a sign from the loved one and a message theyre trying to get across....

"Feeling Good"

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.
Yeah, it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, ooooooooh...
And I'm feelin' good.

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin' free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me,
And I'm feelin' good

Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know,
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean.
Sleep in peace when day is done: that's what I mean,
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me...

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me

And I'm feelin'... good.

So Dad is free and hes feeling good. Free from the pain and suffering. Free from the anguish and fright of his thoughts, free from that awful cancer. Hes got a new life now, hes free and hes feeling good. He told me through this song.