Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

have messaged. is not major just all new to me so not sure what to do. how are you all this morning

Super are you ok!?

Badvoc get better soon Hun your probably run down too with all that's happened to you. Plenty of rest and water etc. bless you.

Mummylin - how are you doing?
Big hi to everyone else. It's blooming freezing here today!

Can I ask has anyone newbies gone to a spiritualist church Nd how did you find it?

Thanks xx

badvoc, I'm so so sorry for you. They say it never rains but it pours, and you've really had it pouring on you. I wish you were near me, I'd come over and help you , it sounds like you really need a break. I think you need to tell your dh exactly how you feel and also you need help with ds, men just cant see the obvious can they!!! I still havent told dh I;ve had 3 sessions with cruse, he knows I was waiting to hear from them but he's never asked and I cant be bothered dragging it up if he cant even remember, all he's interested in is football nothing else seems to register and its getting worse as he gets older.

super have p m'd you too xxx

hi t875, you know how you mentioned coins the other day, I was walking out of my bedroom today thinking of mum and immediately seen a 20p on the kitchen floor, I thought of you!!
and last night, ds2 said something that really touched me, he started talking about my mum (and can I tell you he's the only one who has ever done this) and he said "you know those wee birds we see, I've seen a lot more of them recently" and I said "you mean wee robins" and he said "yes". Ages ago they were at a big football game and they seen a robin on the pitch just in front of them, hopping about and ds2 told them "thats gran", he must have remembered that and noticed the robins and thought of my mum. Thats so nice to me, so special, no one else seems to remember her. Maybe I haven't lost her totally.

Thanks ssd. I feel ridiculously low and fed up.
Ds had a decent night, me less so!
I may be able to go back to bed this afternoon if my fil comes over.
Sadly my dh is so used to just getting his parents to help me that it never occurs to him that it's not always what I want or need.
(Which sounds very ungrateful I realise but I don't really always want my fil to see me ill/upset)
Ds hasn't had the runs yet this morning so fingers x!
My sis has taken mum to hospital this morning. I feel so bloody useless ATM. Am phoning car ins today to find out when I can drive again...I am going ever so slightly loco stuck in the house 24/7.
Ssd, I know what you mean. Sometimes our dc surprise us don't they! Last night for some reason the dc were talking about doughnuts (?) and ds1 piped up "pop loved them didn't he mum?" And it made me smile.
My dad was a fiend for anything sweet - a trait which I have sadly inherited :)

T...I have never been to a spiritualist church, just my regular c of e one.
Is there a particular aspect of religion you want to know about?

Oh ssd that's lovely and I definitely think random coins are very strange. For us it's normally 5 p's :-) that's great about your son and the robin. That also sounded like a sign I bet that touched you and rocked you at the same time.
I truly believe they don't leave us. I wish she was here but I hold into to everything signs messages wise. It's random hearts I've had too. Found one the other day when we sorted her clothes and found a paper bag there with a big heart on. You know like me though some days it's all not enough and pine for her back. Xx

I'm c of e too badvoc but my friend went to one and she said it blew her away what this spiritualist knew! I'm a believer in psychics and spiritualism before my mums passing. After we lost our beloved dog after 14years. X

I am seriously having one of those days. I could just cry and cry, and my sister seems to be in a very similar place. Usually we manage to support each other but the pair of us are a nightmare today.

Mum just text me...she has had an ECG, bloods and is having a chest scan :(
I'm so tired.

Oh badvoc hope she is ok with all the tests. It is all exhausting Hun isn't it (()) take your day in your stride.

Fod sending you a huge virtual hug. We all know them times. I found watching something I liked would help them times along. Wouldn't take them away but would help. I watched a lot of homes under the Hammar and come done with me!! Soaps made me worse thinking of you! X

Hello fod sorry you are feeling so down today. What you are going through is quite normal and it's still early days for you. Things will get better but it takes time and sometimes the sadness catches us unaware .
badvoc I hope the news is good regarding your mumI would think she has also had enough of the past few months. Hopefully you will soon be entering a better period of things and you can perk up a bit, you have had more than your share of the bad stuff .
supermario hope things get sorted and that the funeral went ok today.
T hope you are ok and still getting your signs.hope you are recovering well
ssd how sad that your dh dosent even know a bout your sessions with cruse. Would he take an interest if you told him or just brush it aside ?
Very cold and quite windy here today, no rain though.

Mum ok, no clots but she does have a narrowed artery.
So glad she gave up smoking!!
They will prob treat at a later date.
Hoping Dhs flight isn't cancelled.

glad your mum hasnt got any clots badvoc i can imagine how much of a relief that is. My dad had a blood clot 4 months afer losing my mum which which was a night mare, thankfully he was ok and was just on warfarin.
hope dh is ok, hope where ever any of you are the elements and tides are ok. Apparently we have a few flood warnings over different areas.
Thanks mummylin, im ok, hope you are too! x

not ok, but going along best you can..you know what i mean xx

I am ill I hate being ill. the kids are playing up and I can't even shout at them as I have no voice. someone could round and tell them off

badvoc at last some good news. I am happy to see that about your mum

I lost my mum so suddenly and unexpectedly at noon, yesterday. I can't sleep, trying to make sense of what happened and blaming myself.
She had vomiting in the early hours of last Wed morning. She lived alone so I called a doctor for her; blood pressure ok, tummy cramps and nausea. Tummy bug diagnosed. The only thing I didn't mention to the doctor was that mum's vomit was a brown watery substance.

She continued to vomit sporadically and I stayed with her most of the day Wed and Thursday. On Thursday night she wanted to sit up in her chair rather than go to bed. She wanted the heat off as she was too warm. I called yesterday morning to find her icy cold, slurring her words and saying she felt really unwell.

I called an ambulance and still thought she was just dehydrated and needed fluids in her. But her bp was low, her temperature was low and she became more confused. She got taken into hospital into resusc. Her heart stopped there and they couldn't start it. I'm still not sure what happened but the doctor said intestinal blockage caused by her hernia.

You know what though, I'd done the google your symptoms on Thursday and come up with intestinal blockage but thought,"don't be bloody ridiculous, the GP said tummy bug". I'm not blaming the GP though- mom's symptoms must have looked for all the world like winter flu.

I should have pressed the fact that her vomit was brown. I have an image of my mom sitting alone for 12 hours overnight with sepsis and hypothermia and I could have done something about it. She was a grand old lady of 81 and she shouldn't have suffered like this. I let her down. I'm sorry mum, so sorry.

Oh tattygirl I am so sorry for your loss. It's only natural to blame yourself to try and make sense if things.

Be kind to yourself now though.

I'm very sorry for your loss tatty.
I lost my dad in July very suddenly and unexpectedly (he collapsed and died at a family wedding) and despite me and my dh giving CPR we couldn't save him.
I know all to well that feeling of "what if" and still torture myself with it now.
Sadly, so many serious illnesses present as minor until it's too late.
The day before my dad died he was dx by a gp as having tennis elbow!
There is no sense in the loss of someone so loved. None at all.
You didn't let your mum down. You were with her and called a gp and then an ambulance.
The next few days will be very busy, making arrangement etc but do try and make time to sit and have tone for yourself. I didn't/couldn't and am now paying a heavy price health wise.
Take care x

badvoc, I'm glad things sound a bit better with your mum xx

tatty . I'm sorry. I know you'll be in turmoil. Theres nothing I can say, but I'm sure you did what you thought best at the time. None of us can see the future or know if we did the right thing, but you certainly tried to help your mum and you did what you thought was right. If her own gp didnt spot anything or thought to question you more about her vomit he must not have suspected anything either. I know how much it hurts, but you really did all you could. I think you'll find on here lots of us who thought they could have done more to save our parents..."if only I had"....theres very few of us who dont wish that. My old mum died alone and I'd had the doctor out to her a few days before and when I questioned her about all the pills he'd given her and how she felt she just said "I'm fine", which is what mum said to everything, but I should have known better and not took her at her word. I know you'll torture yourself over the coming weeks and months, but try to remember if a gp didnt spot any signs and thought tummy bug, thats what you'd have thought too. I hope you dont blame yourself, your mum wouldnt want that xx

super, I hope you're starting to feel a bit better, its just not what you need just now is it . and I hope things at home are better x

t875, I found a penny on my mums shelf yesterday, dont know how it got there!! xx

mummylin, fOD, biscuits, vlad, viva and jinty and anyone else i've missed, thinking of you all xxx

full on super cold here, head is fuzzy and sore, eyes are leaking and i generally want to go to bed already! i am normally one of those that gets on with what needs doing well in but i feel naff so chilling on sofa. how is everyone

tatty what a terrible shock for you, but it's not your fault,all of us can only do so much how were you meant to know what was going on inside your dear mum ? honestly you must not blame yourself . You did what you could and what you thought was the right thing . My mum died unexpectedly so I know what an awful shock it is. You will be in a daze for a few days and think its not real , but sadly it is and when realisation hits you it is heartbreaking. You will be kept busy trying to arrange things over the next few days but we are all here for you when you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I am so sorry you are going through this sad time . I hope you have a lot of support in RL

tatty i completely missed your post there, sorry to hear you are going through this, we are a friendly bunch always one of us here to chat too. please try to take time out for yourself it is very draining in the early days