Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

oh biscuits my heart goes out to you, I've lost both parents though not in such a short space of time, that must be devastating for you. thinking of you today xxx

hope you are feeling brighter Linn, sorry I haven't been on much still have no internet and my phone signal is shocking looks like new set up could be a while poss til around 20th so I'll be hopping in and out. has put me in a terrible mood I miss mum and feel wound up constantly as can't get on to chat and let it out! not been up to grave in ages the weather is so wet to walk it is a long way in pouring down rain abd noone ever wants to go/will drop me off. feel like a burden for going wish she was somewhere closer I think the reason I hate it so much is because I hardly ever go so it's always a big deal when I do. things are okay at home but I am feeling so low that isn't really helping, I do work from home and without internet am really missing that , it is only for vouchers/product testing for companies but it gives me something to occupy my mind I have nothing to do and too much time to think. sorry I haven't commented to each of you I can't read back whilst typing on phone, biscuits I hope you got through the day okay. and all those who are Ill are feeling better. to those who are recent in joining us I hope that you have got some comfort from not being alone in this journey I know it feels like the loneliest place in the world sometimes to me as noone I know has lost a parent, this thread keeps me sane . or as much as is possible anyway. thinking of each of you

and the same to you super xx

hope the tens machine is starting to work mummylin, I used one of those during labour and found it really good xx

I'm def not in labour ssd ! Tens machine is great, but this is not a pregnancy one , it only has two pads I believe pregnancy ones have 4 ? Think that's what my dd had on hers.
Been to crem , t was very depressing there today, branches all over the place and leaves piling up, cold , damp and just generally depressing. Still I got all my bits and pieces and put new flowers. I always feel so sad when I see so many old graves and there are never any flowers on them. I suppose in some cases the family has died out.
Yes it will be better for my sister once she gets home, but I doubt we will see her that much anyway , she has a different circle of friends than any of the rest of us has , but at least she will know that none of us are far away.
Hope you are all doing ok today, and SM I hope your Internet is soon sorted .

It's mum's funeral tomorrow. She died 3 weeks ago but it has taken a while to arrange (various bank holidays and a post mortem).

The arrangements are all made now and we're just waiting for this day that we're all dreading. It hurts so much to see dad really struggling to come to terms with losing mum- before the last few months I'd never seen or heard dad cry and now it's a regular occurrence.

Mum was only 64 and in great health until a cancer diagnosis in August. I am filled with anger that she has been taken from us. We miss her so very, very much. Tomorrow will be really tough I think, but I guess it will soon be over.

Imnotcute - So sorry to hear about your mum. I know how you feel about dreading the funeral. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can and I wish you the strength to get through it. I found with both my parents' funerals that I derived huge comfort in seeing and meeting all the people who came to pay their respects.

I'mnotcute, it is indeed a terribly sad day, but from somewhere comes the strength to cope with it. Yes I expect you will be in tears at some point and this is normal, but once it's over and you chat with other people you realise that you have indeed got through it. The people who attend will lift your spirits. Really the worst thing is the actual loss, nothing will be as bad as that awful day. Will be thinking of you at this sad time

Thank you shallweshop and mummylin, hopefully it will be comforting to see people. As daft as it sounds at the moment I hate the idea of seeing everyone there as it makes it all so real. There's no escaping that it is real though. I know you've all had to go through this (some of you more than once) and that I'll get through it somehow...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow imnot x

I'm not - will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hard day but as Lin says you find the strength or given it to help you along. I hope the day goes the best it can. Lots of love to you x

argh ds has been a bloody nightmare tonight, we have a good few weeks and he seems to turn. but he doesn't seem able to say I am sad today it is always taken out on me by answering back, silliness, reverting to a toddler style. his muddy puddles book is over half way through it is so sad seeing how he feels about mum and what happened but what else can I feasibly do we have a memory box, a garden, the grave, the books, photos I am only one person and being spoken to like a bag of Crap is getting very wearing

just seen your message imnot I will also be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you the strength to get through xx

SM..I think you are doing everything you can. I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now.
Things here are still pretty rubbish too. My mum is very down. My sister is also in a bad way. My aunt is deteriorating and it's so hard to witness. Dh is going away in 2 long work trips - in the sense they are the other side of the world and for 10 days each time- in the the next few weeks. I could just cry thinking about them.
Physically I feel better than I did. Back to the gp next month.
Love to all x

feel for you badvoc it is so hard to Watch a loved one fade before your eyes, is there no way dh can postpone the trips probably not as a work thing I guess, am glad your health is slightly better now things seem ten times worse when we are run down. ds has gone to bed in a foul mood and after a serious telling off from me due to his constant rude answering back and refusing to apologise without trying to somehow blame his shitty behaviour on me. I am trying so hard but he can't seem to stop getting so angry then it goes off over something stupid.

My ds1 is getting a bit angsty all of a sudden...I think it's puberty related. He will be 11 this year. Lots if muttering under his breath and stamping about.
All good fun

Sm. this is from what I can see now looking back. My 13 year old who was 11-12 at the time really was the same not all the time but I could tell the anger bitterness and although she knew she could talk about my mum I would say to her talk to me about anything - hospital anything they both knew they could talk to me but eldest really shut it out. Spent a fair bit of time on and off attached to certain songs/ programmes. I kept a very close eye on her we didn't have depression although she would have stayed in bed every Saturday but we didn't let her.
Keep an eye on him. Is he same age Ish?! Battling with hormone and grief I think is so hard.
She done little things in her own way time to b close to my mum. Knitting/ craft things what she would have done.
Hormones definitely heightened it all.
Things did calm down. Hope does there! i picked the battles and walked away if angry and said i will come babk later and we will talk then.
I know what your going through been there. (( hugs)) x

You can't do more than what you are, it's very hard isn't it with our gut wrenching sadness and all them emotions we really muster up the strength sometimes don't we. X

he's only 6, I so wish he hadn't had to see how poorly she was , to be there when she was sick and crying and asking why it had to be her but there was no other way to look after her and him. am no help tonight just sat on couch sobbing. he is so mean to me when he gets in these moods. :(am pathetic tonight

Oh I know what you mean horrible when they are like it. I would let him know this has upset you and say mummy misses nanny and finds it hard but tries to carry on this is the sort of thing I said to my girls. But they don't really understand and mine have taken stuff out on me.
You could always phone the bereavement help line winstons wish! Hope tomorrow is better and sending you hugs sm. xx

have come to bed, fed up. snuck in and had a cuddle with ds. can't seem to do right for doing wrong really.thanks for chatting I appreciate it

Anytime Hun. Been there and know how your feeling. Bless you sm. x

Love to all on the thread badvoc I'm so sorry all your going through. My god. (()) to you. I see my dad through sad time often. Here if you want a chat.
We're be here for company when hubby goes away too xx

hi to everyone

Imnotcute, will be thinking of you today and hope the day goes as best it can xx

super, I just want to hug you and your little ds, I can feel the pain from both of you and know your just really hurting, I'm so sorry. I wish I was near you, I'd look after you both xx

badvoc, again hugs to you, you've been through so much and are still in the midst of it all xx

t875, you sound a bit stronger, although I know that can change in an instant..hows your dad doing now, is he getting a bit stronger? love to you as always xx

mummylin,,hows the back doing? its a sore thing isnt it, I've had back trouble for years, although I need to lose weight to help it I never do...

as for me, I'm doing ok, well I think I am but am still waking up at 4 am and crying for my lost family, when does that go away?

to anyone I've missed, biscuits, mouseface, shallweshop, everyone else, am thinking of you all xxx

Oh bloody hell!! Funny scratching noises coming from the loft! I'm scared!! I've asked hubby to come home and investigate! To say he isn't happy is an understatement! Lol god very scared!! Hope whatever it is hasn't trashed my stuff up there my mums bits and photos are up there!!

Maybe a little mouse or sometimes squirrels can get in ! Or maybe a bird somehow is trapped. Let your dh sort it out, I'm sure your stuff will be fine. Imnotcute on my mind today. SM hope you are feeling a bit happier today. Have you booked that night yet ???
To everyone hope this brief respite from the bad weather cheers your hearts a little bit.