hi dolly, I went to cruse too, but I had to wait for my appt for ages as they were so busy, so didnt see them till after a year after my mum died. TBH I found it hard going, the counsellor told me at the start the answers lie within yourself, he/she doesnt provide them, or judge you or tell you what to do. This didnt suit me, I wanted someone to make sense of it all for me! But it didnt work like that. I'd never been to counselling before, I didnt realise you do all the talking. I'd not been able to speak about my mum for so long, there was no one else close to her like I was and literally no one mentioned her, so when I first went it was really strange to talk about her and I just cried for the hour I was there. I really had to force myself to go. I had one specific thing I was there about and I just went over and over it till I was sick of talking about it. I didnt really deal with mum dying as I feel thats just something I need to live with and nothing seems to help, but maybe time. I did feel the cruse sessions helped me, but they were really hard. Sometimes I still think of them, I feel just now in my life I could go every week, just to have someone to open up to but I just had 3 sessions. I'd say try it, but dont expect miracles. I know someone who went for marriage guidance counselling and she said it changed her whole relationship, I dont feel that as the way I feel about certain things is too deep to change, but it helps to discuss it with a stranger and to say whatever you like. Try it, thats all you can do.
With regards to the quote I posted earlier, I'd actually say time does heal and I'm just praying this is true for me with regards my mums death. I've got a bit more experience here, my dad died 14 years ago and I was utterly broken hearted, but with time it gradually got easier, until I could mention him and it didnt kill me. But the thing thats so obvious to me now was that I still had mum then. Thats the major difference in it all as to how I'm feeling now. Now mum has gone its like losing your past, totally and utterly, and for me with no close siblings to share the pain its just an on going burden. Everyones experiences are different, but what we can all do is support each other and let each other know we are thinking of them and wanting to help ease their feelings a bit if we can, even if its just to have someone to share it with.
Super, I'm sorry your friends have been crap, I think we;ve all experienced this in one form or another, its true you certainly learn who is there for you when something like this hits you. I feel I'm a lot harder and more brittle since mums death, I'm not as naive and kind hearted as I was, I gave all that to mum as she deserved it, now I save it for those that matters...and the rest can go to hell!!