Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

hugs from me, euphemia, am so sorry to read your news.xx

so sorry euphema, have an online hug from us it is rubbish feeling like this, but we are here to chat too whenever you feel like. x

Hello. I promised I'd update you after posting on here a while back - I can't even remember why I did now. Anyhow Mum's cancer is incurable and she's been told without treatment she has only 3-4 months to live. With treatment she may last a year or two, but the chances of success are less than 50%. So I'm feeling pretty rubbish tonight, and my heart goes out to all of you as well.

It's almost 2014 the year my Dad will have never seen or lived in. How can that be? Feeling so so sad that he is gone and I can't text him happy new year. Is it mad that I will probably text him anyway even though his phone is in my kitchen drawer?

Oh and Euphemia, I am so sorry about your dad. Thinking of you tonight xx

I feel like that too dolly, another year my mum won't be a part of. thinking of us all tonight and our family members. missing you always mum, forever your girl

This is weird . Just seeing if I can post from the mobile site seeing as main site seems to be broken

euphimia I am so sorry to see about your dad. What a very sad day for you. We on this thread will help you as much as we can . I would imagine you are in utter shock and a bit of disbelief that this has happened. Please continue to post here, we will support you
gaelic sorry to see about this horrible situation. Try and make as many memories as you can, they will be your treasures one day. We are always here if you need a shoulder

Don't know what has happened on main site but someone told me to go to the mobile site so that's what I am on, not sure how it will come out on our thread.it all looks very strange

Happy new year guys! I hope it will be a little easier on you but I so know the crap times too!! Very hard!

Was bitter sweet tonight for me. Missed my mum remembered so much. It kills me. I raised a glass and when we sang all Aquitaine I could hear her singing with us ( in my mind )
Love you mum lovely lady!! Stay with us girl. Always tucked in my heart.

Mummylin I can understand your annoyance hope your ok tonight

Love to you all and tried to check in earlier done a big post and Mn crashed!
Speak soon xx

Meant to say auld Lang sine. Not sure what word I put there

It didnt crash t'we were all stopped from posting because one of MNHQ decided to do that because of some jokey threads on AIBU. I was annoyed as I was trying to post to the new posters, but it's been back for a few minutes now, I was told by someone to switch to mobile site and it worked !

Euphemia...I'm so sorry to hear about he loss of your dad.
My mum is also not the affectionate kind..hugs always came from dad.
But now she wants affection and I find it very hard :(
I hope the next few days aren't too stressful for you and your mum.
Do you have any siblings?

Tried to post last night but couldn't send! What a bad time to block posting, I felt like taking :( Was in bed feeding my baby at midnight, could hear the fireworks outside and the tears came. OH was out taking his sister back into town as she had to come back to settle her LO who'd woken up at and MIL couldn't get her back to sleep. So I was sat on my own (well except DD of course) I wish we'd been at dads keeping him company instead, I feel so guilty about it, but we get a hard time from MIL sometimes as she says we don't come here enough, except she's never on her own like my dad is she. My sister is very selfish and rarely makes time for dad, she will of been out last night, oh why didn't I stay with him? Can hear everyone downstairs and I don't want to go down. I really don't want to be in a houseful of people today.

Euphemia so sorry, I hope you managed to get some sleep last night, take each day as it comes.

gaelic I still remember like it was yesterday when I found out mums cancer was incurable. I sort of knew it was coming but I still had a tiny bit of hope somewhere and then it was crushed, its such a massive blow, I hope you're coping ok.

*talking

Euphemia- so sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum just before Xmas so had a similar experience with everything being shut down for a couple of days. I know how weird it is just hanging around with nothing much you can do as all the usual hustle and bustle is elsewhere.

Yesterday I got back to my own home for the first time since mum died. I'm finding it really tough actually, while I was with dad I think the focus on supporting him allowed me to stay strong. Now I've kind of crumpled

Euphemia...the days after a bereavement are so, so strange. Often times I felt as if I were watching myself through a glass window and I wanted to bang on the glass and scream "no, please don't let this be happening". Arranging the funeral was a surreal process. Something one never imagines one will have to do.
Due to my dad dying away from home it was a 2.5 week wait between him dying and the funeral.
And in between my mother suffered a stress induced heart attack, so we were back and forth to the hospital for her.
I found having stuff "to do" really helped me. I was dads executor and with mum in hospital, my brother catatonic with shock and sister abroad on holiday I did everything.
It was the second week I found very, very hard. Funeral arranged, sister home, mum home, no more phone calls to make..it was a terrible limbo land and I hated it.
Could you go back home when your brother gets there tomorrow?

I think like the others when you are busy you have less time to think and delve into things your avoiding thinking of. the day after mum died I was at a large local town finding clothes for her to wear, picking up jewelry etc as people heard the news they would say but I saw you in town. well yes you did I had things to do. ny grandad ended up in hospital for a few days and then was the funeral. I was in hospital the night of funeral for a couple of days so I don't think It really hit me until the third week and I completely went to pieces. I hope that you can have some time to think when you feel able to and absorb the news. and also the poster who has below it is so wrong to have that hanging over your head my mum was given 2 years and it seemed we were on countdown she survived for four years but each appointment brought more news that hurt so Much and we knew was true but tried to make light of the situation. I am in a foul mood today been bored witless all day dp basically played or phone or moped around doing much of nothing. I would of normally been at mums, I miss her and her funny ways. having takeaway and the relentless way in which she spoiled ds and he could do no wrong even when he was being a brat. I am so lonely now I don't have that many friends probably because I don't tolerate people well they seem so bothered by trivial things and situations. I used to be with mum every day and now I just mill about wondering why we didn't get to keep her for longer .it worries me so much that one of us could end up with the same illness and my ds would have to suffer this horrible feeling.

hugs for you super, I can feel how much you're suffering xx

I was in debenhams today, having a cuppa alone, there weren't many people there, most of the shops here are closed for the 1st, I was thinking the staff must be going "why isnt she at home", but dh and the kids were at the football, and like you usually I'd have gone to see mum new years day but cant do that now,so I seem to wander around killing time, waiting for god knows what. I've got a few good friends but I purposely avoid so many people now, its just hurts so much hearing of others plans involving their mums/dads/sisters etc, like normal families do, instead of not having one of my own to call on. I know none of my pals understands, they tell me to move on whilst also telling me they shared a bottle of wine with their mums new years eve etc etc, it just feels like little knife wounds hearing everyone so I keep to myself a lot these days. I sympathise with you so much, you are so much younger than me and I know it'll be hitting you a lot harder...I've still got your little robin in my bag, next to my mums keys, I think of you when I see it! hugs again xxx

Just been to see my aunt.
I don't think she will be with us much longer.
I don't know how I can bear it.

Sorry to see this badvoc, the only consolation wil be that her pain will be over. Just a quick post as I'm not at home, will,post again later.

At least I have had the opportunity to tell her I love her.
Didn't get that chance with dad.

am sorry to hear that badvoc, i am glad that you get to say what you need too but sorry you are having to go through this at all.

Thanks ssd, id appreciate a hug, dont know what it is about new year, wonder if i will hate it forever. all these posts about big family dinners and mums having everyone round for epic roasts or wahtever else make me so sad. i dont begrudge any one else having their family and i like to seem them appreciating them but what did we do so wrong to not deserve any more time with ours. v melancholy tonight! need a kick up the arse from one of you. i am glad you still have your robin ssd, i still have mine too, i shall have to think of something else for next year

Oh super ssd and badvoc.

I am feeling for you guys so much. I know it's nothing but a huge hug for you guys. They are with us but its just not enough is it. You guys should be so proud of yourselves all of us as we have had and still do get massively tough times but we surf them waves. Some days really fierce waves some days ripples but we are all together and here got each other.

Sending you guys love xx

I'm so sorry I have missed the posts from new people. We will be here for you so very sorry to see you on this thread. Sending you support and hugs x

Lin - I saw about m net sort of I was trying for a while to post.