Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

Thanks mummylin and t875 x

I would never put my dc through this grief,
I will do all I can to prevent it.

I start counselling in the new year I've had to fight to get it through my gp. I live in the republic of Ireland, the services here are a joke.
When I was at my worst with pnd and then losing my Mum my gp said i would have to present myself at a&e if I wasn't coping.
Thankfully since then a new counselling service has been set up and my gp referred me as soon as it was set up so I haven't had to wait longlong.

I think yesterday I hit a low as I had been so excited for my dcs waiting for Santa and christmas day itself was a good day.

Feel more positive today and I can't wait to get started with the counsellor, I met her before Christmas and I found it very easy to talk to her.

Hugs to everyone, especially any of you who are struggling today x

Hi Lucybabs been thinking of you. Glad you are feeling better today and a bit more positive. Well done you. It takes massive strength I know this all to well.

Glad the councillor is helping you let us know how you go with her. I found a wonderful lady too I believe my angel from above. She was amazing and really helped me.

Hope your day goes along not too bad. Sending you hugs xx

Lucy...my sis is having counselling and is finding it helpful.
I hope you do too.
Saw my aunt this morning...she actually looked very well :) she managed to go to her daughters on Xmas day which was lovely. I took her a shed load of trifle and a plate of quiche and salad from yesterday :)
My mums fridge freezer has packed up...sigh. My sister has taken her to get another but it won't be delivered for a while.
Going to the cemetery tomorrow before mum goes away. Will pop and see my aunt too.
Then to tackle the ironing pile.......

Wow badvoc you have so much going on, how is your mum doing??whens she back?

What a pain about the fridge!! Hope she can get one to replace if ASAP. X

She is ok I think.
It's been a difficult few days as you all know all too well. I will help her pack tomorrow.
Last night all the family were here and they started making balloon animals from ds2s balloon modelling kit that Santa brought....my dad would have loved that...just brought it home to me, that he is gone and what we have lost :(
My aunt asked me today if there is anything. I want when she is gone!!
What do you say to that!?
I was just....speechless. I will have to think of something, it's important to her. She has no money and nothing of any monetary value so she wants to leave something personal. Lovely thought, but....I just don't want to think about it :(

Oh my word that is so hard. Memories badvoc good memories. Things she loves to do something you would do together. Take pictures video. X the balloon animals sound great I bet your dad did love that. I know stuff we done yesterday tree presents etc she would have loved. Very hard though isn't it when you start to think too deeply. But it's lovely to keep their memory alive with them special things xx

badvoc how lovely your aunt wants to leave you something, but what a hard thing to choose! I hope you find something special to you..I agree totally with t875's above post (pm'ed you t )

mummylin, what a hard thing for you all to go through, hope your dd is okay as best in the circumstances.

lucybabs, I hear you, the light is there but the emptiness we feel now our parents have gone obliterates it. Hopefully we'll see it some day xx

hugs to you all here xxx

Hello all, ssd hope it wasnt too traumatic for you over the holiday.
lucybabs I am glad that you have help to get you through, you will be ok .
badvoc how sad that you have to choose something from your aunt, but if it gives her some comfort at this time it's worth it, poor lady. Hope your mum is coping ok and hope that you are now feeling fully recovered from you op
t I hope Xmas went as well as could be expected for you too.
waterlego purplepillow biscuits supermario FOD crazykat I am thinking of you all at this stressful time
noname it must of been a very sad time for you losing your mum
so close to Xmas, I hope you were surrounded by family to help you through.
imnotcute I hope too that you have somehow coped over the Xmas period, it's so hard and when it's supposed to be a happy time , I think it actually makes things seem s much sadder.
mouseface I hope that somehow over Xmas you found some strength to cope even though I know you are in such pain and sorrow.
pugirl I guess at the moment you are in limbo waiting for the 2nd. Thinking of you at this awful time of waiting.
To anyone I have missed sending you a hug and a bit of strength to cope.

Oh and to chubby I know it must of been very difficult for you but I know you will of somehow got through, you are a strong person

Is anyone else watching UP! and sobbing?

What is the programme about mouseface ? I have never seen it.

I have watched some of it previously and it was sad so switched off! it is a children's film based on sad story. I am going to watch my Ross noble DVD soon and laugh myself out of epic bad mood

Why are you in a bad mood. Who or what has upset you ?

my broadband connection keeps dipping out I've phoned EE five times today and been cut off because of it being through the WiFi promised call backs and it's never happened. am getting very behind with my tasks on the survey sites and constantly losing connection. kids have been arguing constantly all day and I've hurt my shoulder so I am epic grumpy/sore. the only time it stops hurting is in red hot bath but can't stay in bath forever. how are you and how was Christmas x

We keep losing our Internet connection too. It's bloody annoying Xmas was fine though had upset with dd,s ex being taken to hospital on Xmas day. But apart from that was not a bad day, was worn out at the end of the day. I had 11 here in the evening. How have you hurt your shoulder ?

how is dd ex now? wow eleven I've done no hosting and I'm still shattered no idea about the shoulder just really sore had to get dp to do up my bra before couldn't reach behind me without it hurting

11 people sounds lovely, we went to a friends on Xmas Eve, she had only her family and us there, she had about close 20 family members!!! That's be like a dream come true, I think that amount of family all around all the time must be like being in a protected bubble.

hope your shoulder gets better super, I've heard of frozen shoulder could it be that? x

He has been sent home now and has to see someone in a couple of months about his heart. It's all drink related . His brother actually died whilst having a heart op, he was alcoholic too. There were three brothers , he is the only one left , last one died of drink too. It seems to be in the family.

that's sad mummylinn hope he does keep his appointment

maybe frozen shoulder, bloody hurts whatever it is

Glad you had a nice time ssd . Yes it was a good evening he , very funny when gd,s boyfriend modelled his mankini !! Pic is on my profile. My brother was here and so it went straight onto Facebook
SM I also wondered about a frozen shoulder, I had that once and it was so so painful

He will go to his apt , but he won't stop drinking. He can't now.but he dosent want to either

very sad for all involved that , I am going to Google frozen shoulder now

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for months and am just trying to catch up wit what's going on for you all. Huge love and hugs to everyone at this bittersweet time of year.xxx
It will be 2 yrs in March since I lost my beloved Dad, who had always been my closest friend. He died at 61 of alcoholism, and I am still struggling with so, so many questions. My heart aches with worry about who is taking care of him - if his soul has gone on. I guess there are no answers to that one. I feel like I will never be the same again after losing him.

How strange that you have come on this thread madmomma just when I have been talking about my dd,s ex who s also an alcoholic you will understand what a terrible illness this s and how it affects everyone around him.
I am sure someone will be taking care of your dad and if what the say is true , he won't be alcoholic now. He will be well
I don't really want to fill this thread up about dd,s ex as its not really the place for it. Could I PM you about it ?

Please do mummylin xx

I often read this thread and think about you all, but rarely have time to write anything but thought I'd post a little update today. I am sorry to see some new people have joined since I last posted, my thoughts are with you all, and I hope you can draw comfort from the other posters on here who are walking the same sad path.
My mum died in July 2012 and every day since then has been hard. I seem to have reached something of a plateau if that makes sense - life goes on but there is always a sadness in the background. I worry sometimes that it will never get better, but then I'm not sure if I want to feel better, as if that would be forgetting mum or mean that I don't care as much. Does that even make sense? Sometimes I question my own sanity!
This weekend I am staying with my dad and it has just been full of reminders of mum which is lovely in some ways but also brings home the horrible emptiness of knowing she is not here anymore. However I have decided that when I go home I am going to put up some photos of mum because I don't have any on display in my house and I feel like I am ready to have them around now. We don't have lots of photos up at home, just one little one each of the kids and the dog(!) but I'm going to find a place and have a montage of my "mum" photos.
I used to look forward so much to Christmas and New Year because it inevitably meant a big family get together with mum at the centre, she loved nothing more than having all her family around. It will never be the same and that is hard to accept. I'm also dreading New Year's Eve because once we get to January, I can no longer say "my mum died last year". I know this is just a very small thing but I can't stop thinking about it.
Anyway this has turned into an essay - sorry about that!
Take care everybody xxx