Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

I'mnotcute I am so very sorry words I'm sure are not enough. What a shock, horrendous for you. Sending you out a hand. I'm so very sorry I just couldn't imagine. Sending you strength and a huge hug to you.
Come and speak to us anytime.
It's not the same but the day before Easter 2012 I was talking Easter eggs and see you tomorrow. Laughing about fish and chips then she went to bed and 10 pm was the last. Awful horrible. :-( I just take the tiny comfort of her being around me and and little coincidences that happen which makes me believe she's around. But that also isn't enough some days!!

Hugs to you all who have come onto the thread tonight. Will be thinking of you all. X

Sorry was meaning to say this is my mum my beloved mum I'm talking about x

Helloimnotcute I am so sorry to see you sad news. What a terrible time to lose your mum. It's bad enough at any other time of the year. But Christmas time seems so poignant. What a terrible terrible time for you and and all your family.its not going to be an Easy time for you and it seems so wrong that others will be happily enjoying themselves. You think the whole world should know that your poor mum has passed we are always here if you need to talk to any of us who have gone through this sad time of losing a parent.i hope that you will be in the company of other family members so you can all give each other support.
dolly your dad will know he was loved s don't worry about that . I am sorry for your loss and I hope that you cope ok on this your first Christmas without him. my mum died in October but its now two years ago. But at times it just feels like last week. We are always here if you need to chat or offload
Hi to everyone else. Hope you are all ready now! I have just had " dinner" of cheese on toast. Was delicious. All prepared here now except the gammon isn't cooked yet. Tonight I a, feeling just a bit sad because of the obvious reason, mum so loved Christmas. Like the rest of you I will go through the motions tomorrow but in my heart I will be with my mum. In case I have no time tomorrow, here's hoping that everything goes as well as possible and there isn't too much over indulgence !

imnot So sorry you find yourself here; and I'm so sorry about the loss of your dear mum- what a very sad time to lose someone. I hope you get through the day as best you can. I lost both of my parents to cancer this year. It is a bastard of an illness.

Thinking of you all today and wishing you a 'Happy' Christmas.
I know it won't exactly be happy for many of us; but hopefully it'll at least be bearable. Much love to all. x

Good morning, thanks all for welcoming me here.

The kids have been up and opened their pressies. I've retreated back to bed for some peace, feeling alternately numb and an incredible pain that mum will not get the great pleasure of seeing her grandchildren today.

I hope those of you who have a little more time since losing your mum/ dad can enjoy the day a little, but I'm sure the pain doesn't go away.

It is so hard to think that my dad must be feeling even worse than I am- I haven't spoken to him and my brother & sister yet today, but planning to see them later.

Gosh, it's hard, isn't it? My first parentless Christmas has been quite a sad struggle and I'll be very glad when it's all over. I'm glad to say that I don't think my despair has spoilt the children's day at least.

And my amazing husband gave me a calendar full of photos of my folks; many of which I'd never seen before. He also gave me a framed print of a quote which I read earlier this year and in which I found comfort. I cried and cried when I unwrapped them. He is so lovely.

Sending love to you all.

Thank you got asking - my mum is still very upset. She manages to keep it together most of the day but the night times are the worst. I can hear her crying. I asked a Dr friend about some v mild sleeping tablet/ sedative that's non addictive. He suggested Nytol. I haven't managed to get any yet but a sherry seemed to do the trick last night.
It's such an empty, sad feeling. We need to go and look at somewhere people can come back to after the funeral Friday, along with meeting the minister and finalizing the funeral plans.

That's it the last 24 hrs have passed. Hope it has been bearable for everyone.the day for me has not been too bad. The saddest thing was going to the crem today. Then my dd,s ex partner came for dinner and my dh had to take him to hospital ( he is a alcoholic. That why he is ex ) he had pains in his chest. At one time they thought his heart may be bleeding) he has been there all day until 11pm tonight, he has to go back on Friday. He is in and out of hospital with variousillnesses connected to his drinking . So my dd ended up in tears, although they have been apart. 4 or 5 yrs now they are still very fond of each other . It's all very sad but drink comes first

Oh today was hard at times. Really missed my mum my god I did. Had to get on though. At one point I was like come on you gotta get through this as I know how I was feeling.

My dads not great. I worry about him he looks so pale. He has stayed tonight. He isn't the same person.

My thoughts r with you all. In between the sadness we have had some happy memories and times between us playing games. I brought my mum a bracelet with different charms a frog - she loved ceramic frogs. A crown. She loved jubilee and regal things. 2 tiny red hearts and two roses and a cup and saucer as she loved a cuppa with me. I got it from Claire's It was only a couple of quid I'm sure she loved it. Brought some red carnations and hubby bought me a Yankee candle Christmas cookie it was lovely and smelt lovely.

Been thinking of you all hope your day has gone not too bad although some I can imagine very hard xx

Lin..your poor dd. what a terrible illness alcoholism is :(
Lego...your dh sounds wonderful. My ds1 was talking about pop (my dad) last night and he quoted what I wrote in the eulogy...
"Grief is the price we pay for love"
He is a very wise 10 year old! :)
Mum came here for breakfast but didn't stay long..she also went to see my brother and then to my sisters for lunch.
We went to mils and it was fine...nice dinner. Mil was quite emotional (as is her wont :)) and I am sure is worried about me, but like you all I'm glad it's over.
Dc were great yeaterday morning. And loved all their gifts...ds2 (5) thanked dh and I after he opened each one so it took a long time! :)
I am still in bed - my back and ribs are still very sore after my chest infection :( but I have 15 people coming for a buffet later so need to get organised!
I have been thinking of all of you - my friends - and praying you have found some peace and solace in the memory of happier times.
One of my fave authors is Charles dickens and one of my fave books is A Christmas Carol. There is a line spoken By Bob Cratchet...
"Life is made up of meetings and partings; That is the way of it"
As true now as when it was written, but still hard to bear.
I think dad would have liked my Xmas jumper :) and today for the buffet I have bought little cream cakes in his memory.
Love to all x

Hello all, thank goodness Christmas is over- not a good day when you're suffering.

After much discussion we didn't go to dad's yesterday. He had my brother and sister with him so we stayed with my PIL where my 2 dc had a wonderful day.

We'll travel to dad's today and I think the kids will open the presents mum had bought for them but won't see them open, which is bound to be difficult.

Then we'll start calling people to tell them the awful news- we have only told our closest family and friends so far, since it happened so close to Christmas.

Like several of you above I really worry about my dad, his pain must be even worse than mine. He only lost his own mum last year and thought he had many years ahead with mum.

Sending my very best wishes to everyone else on the thread, thank you for listening to me so I can feel a little less alone in dealing with this x

Dds ex is back in hospital. Had a massive fit this morning and has had another since he has been at the hospital . Dd is there now . Yes it's a terrible illness and it affects everyone around him. He is such a nice person but the drink comes first. His organs are already buggered and we all know he will die of this. He and dd used to be s happy till he started on this spiral but then he got violent and I called police. He was arrested and that was the end of him and dd. she could not live with that. Being so scared in case he kicked off. Having to walk on eggshells. Kids too embarrassed to bring friends home etc Dd gave him chances but this was the final straw . I don't condone want he did to my dd but I know that underneath it all is a decent person . It's all so difficult . Sorry to veer off our topic but I am very concerned at the moment

I'm so sorry to hear that Lin. He and you all are in my thoughts x
Mum is here and we are preparing for the guests...she is off abroad on Sunday and - god forgive me - I am thankful of the break.
Imnotcute...I hope you do feel less alone. What a lifeline this thread has been for me!
for all of you x

I too have guests here later badvoc just had a relaxing bath, the were 11 of us here last night, I was shattered. One of my gd,s boyfriends were here and for a joke they bought him a mankini . Of course he had to model it ! That was a laughter moment for us all. The pics are now all,over the net as my brother put on face book right away ! It was really comical. I have posted the pics on another thread too. He is such a good sport. !

Hi all, so sorry not been on this thread for a long time.

This time of year is hard for everyone and I am missing my parents so much, 16th December was their wedding anniversary and Dad passed away 2 weeks before Christmas 1999.

((hugs)) to everyone

Mankini! Genius :)

badvoc will put air on my profile !
arisocat sorry you too are feeling sad, this is the time I think when we miss them more than ever, it's a time for families to be together, but we all will have someone missing.

Air = photo

God Christmas this year seemed bloody harder!! My god I missed her! Not so raw but gutting. Absolutely gutting! Had the best time we could though and had some laughs played some games.

Couldn't believe she wasn't there. I'm sure she was there but just not enough.
Sounds a laugh Lin! Sorry to hear about your daughters ex. What a time you guys have had. Hope he will be ok.

Pug - so hard isn't it for who is left behind. My dad really found this year so hard if u ever want to pm let me know. I know what it's like and it's bloody hard for the other person left. I feel my dads aged 10 years and starting to see him go down hill.

Thinking of everyone xx

Hi everyone

We'll we got through yesterday not too bad

Managed to skype my big brother in Spain

Then visited another brother for a few hours which the girls enjoyed

Then trinity and her girls came round for dinner and we played some games etc so all in all quite a pleasant day but.....

Yeah it was hard, there was a few tears and a few smile but in my heart of hearts I know mum was watching, smiling down at us willing us to have a good day especially for my girls sakes

So now we're hoping for a calm day on Saturday so we can drive to wear dale to go on the polar express

Then it's back on to UPS and amazon to sort out dd1's present that UPS have lost

Hello Girls!
Happy Christmas to everyone x

My Mum died 13 months ago, the ache I have in my heart and stomach is still there and will possibly never leave

My Dad died 9 months ago and although I had no relationship with him its still so hard to believe he's gone too and I do miss him.
He was an alcoholic and not a good father but he was still my Dad

I want to be gone, I know that's not the answer but I am so sad and lost I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now

Your right lucybabs that is def not the answer, why would you want others to go through the same grief that you are ? Things must be pretty tough for you right now, but eventually you will see some light . Thirteen months isn't that long, I a two years now but it still feels the same basically so you are still early days. Just get through day by day. Don't worry about the day after till it comes.
purplepillow I amglad you coped quite well after all , I am glad you have Trinity to help you through, god knows she has had a lot of grief herself so knows exactly how it is.

purple pillow glad you got through it sounds like me and how mine went.

lucybsbs I agree not the answer Hun. Life is precious and there will be light at the end of the tunnel it is a long road but it does get better. The practical things that helped at times was tea, Bach flower remedy I done a big a4 page of all the things my mum loved and when I had tough times I'd go to it. I would try and keep busy and watch my favourite programme for me for some reason was come done with me. Surround yourself with friends that will care and listen to you.
I also had 4 sessions with cruse as did a few others here and this helped me a lot it helped to blurt it all out
Cruse also has a 24hr line which I put on here a few messages up to someone.
I would definitely talk to your doctor about how your feeling.
Here for you and sending a massive hug you are not on your own. X

How are you feeling today Lucybabs?

Thinking of every one of you on this thread at what points your at. You are not alone. X

Lego just reading back what a lovely thing your dh done. How very special. I have been thinking of you.

Puggirl also reading back I hope today goes the best it can for you all. Thinking of you. Here if you need a chat xx