I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

[TrinityRhino]

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

he had a serious heart attack in september of last year
he had a stent put in and had damaged his heart quite a lot
he was on lots of medication but we really thought things were looking up
he was stable as it were
for a good few months after the heart attack he was in and out of hospital but then we got his meds sorted and he had finished his cardiac training sessions and was going to the local gym twice a week, his fatal heart nurse(what a name!) was happy with his stats

I just cant believe it

I'm so sorry for you and your family.

No I bet you can't
Life is shit to a lot of people but to a few it is really really shit :(
I'm so so sorry. Apart from anything else I imagine this is opening up old wounds as well as the new ones.
What about his family? Are you close to them? Are they around at the moment?

Look after yourself trinity. Right now, yesterday Will be so raw and painful.
Look after yourself and your children. Mn is here to listen.
X

oh shit - I checked the date when I saw your name. I am so, so sorry to read this and it is unspeakably shit.
love to you and your girls

Trinity, I can't believe this has happened to you - to have been blessed with two such wonderful, loving men in your life and have them taken so suddenly.

Wish I could deliver hugs in person to you and the girls, but I'll be holding you all in my thoughts in the next days, weeks, and months.

Hug dd1, hold onto her, and remember that your dp (who sounds like the cuddliest teddy bear) was proud of you for kicking the booze into touch, among so many things

They fade, Trinity, they really do.

You're maybe going to want support and company, calm and sleep in the forthcoming days and weeks. I know how far away you are from so many of us but is there anything anyone here can do?

Do you feel you'd like to talk to your GP about a short course of sleeping tablets or about bereavement counselling and support?

(You "know" me well, btw, but under a different name. Will pm to explain).

he has five adult children that I am close to but they all live far away
london, ireland, exmouth
but they are coming up soon
we wont know anything more about anything till monday
there has to be an autopsy because it was an unexpected death
I had to give a statement to the police too

his ex wife lives very close and was here last night
I've spoken about her before
she is the suicide risk that cant speak without lying

he was very proud of me for giving up the booze
and the fags

I am so sorry trinity. Unspeakably shit indeed. I hope purplepillow can be with you soon. xx

Yes, completely agree, I bet he was very proud.
Crap seems to happen to good people, and drama to people who just want normal, uneventful, family lives :(

Avoid the ex as much as you can without being nasty, I'm sure she is grieving too but you can't deal with that now.
Obviously his DC are a different matter, I hope you can comfort each other.

Trinity, I am so so sorry. I cannot believe this has happened to you again. To lose someone once is unbearable. For it to happen again is just cruel beyond words.

Much love to you. Please know you are in my thoughts xxx

I'm someone else who had to check the date of your post and hoped it could have been a nightmare :(

So sorry for you

Life is so unfair.
I am so so sorry you are going through this. You and your lovely family are in my thoughts and prayers

Am so so sorry Trinity. This is heart breaking to read. Xx

As Stealth says - you have your own grief and that of your children to deal with, it's not fair that you should feel under obligation to deal with someone else's, especially not an ex wife (who from the sound of it is difficult at the best of times).

Be selfish if you need to be! You and the children come first!

You mattered, mattered so much to your DP, he would surely want the same.

I'm another that date-checked. I'm so sorry. It's horrific for you to be struck by terrible tragedy again. I hope your friends can help comfort you. God bless you xx

I'm sorry, I do not know your story but I have pieced it together a little from the other posts.

I do know what it is like to lose someone when their heart gives up and I understand the pain and horror of that moment. I wish I could offer you something to help take that pain away but I know I can't. There is nothing.

Instead I am sending prayers for you and your family, which is something I never do usually, but it is all I have. I hope there will be some comfort for you in time. X

I too can confirm that they fade.

And even sharing those images with someone can help.
I didnt for a few days, but after about 5 I really really had to tell someone. I chose to tell my sister, and she was alright about me telling her the images.
It is strange what one person cannot take, and another one can.

Have read the whole thread and am still having trouble believing this
So very sorry trinity for your terrible loss

Trinity I am so sorry for your loss

I am so so sorry to read this Trinity

So so sorry Trinity.
If it helps, put the ring on, or if its too big, on a necklace so you don't lose it.
Hugs.