I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

[TrinityRhino]

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

I am so so sorry, and sending a little prayer your way x

Words to say how earth shattering this is for you can seem inadequate to fully describe theceffect .... and words are all we have here to reach out to you and your family ... but Iike everyone else I hope i can hold your hand while you need it.

The horrific video in your mind right now will fade in time.... it may still be there but you can , when you are ready, replace it with more positive mind videos of better times. You might need rl help to do it .. but yes please hold onto that thought.

Echo others... if you can't sleep especially then get medical help... the processes you will have to go through will be hard enoughwithout hhaving to do it exhausted.

Thinking of you....

So sorry Trinity.
You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers.

so sad.
So incredibly unfair, cruel, traumatic and painful for you and your family.

The images of the event will become less intrusive. The flashbacks are your brains way of processing it. How brave of you to do chest compressions.

Big hugs to you all.

What rambo said. You need to focus on you and the DC now.
Do you want to keep talking about him? There will be so much love and laughter and happiness he gave you, it will overcome the painful images.

Oh I am so sorry to read this. I checked the post to see the date too.

I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

I'm so, so sorry. I don't have any other words or anything useful to say.
You are in my thoughts.

Trinity it physically hurts and the images you have will fade. I promise.

My dad died of a massive heart attack 8 years ago and I checked his pulse and his breathing and luckily someone else started the chest compressions. Unfortunately he did die there was nothing that could be done. The images of his death are still with me but they have faded and you and I know we did all we could, so take comfort in that.

They will be with you in the immediate aftermath when you shut your eyes but you can replace them if you think really hard about the good times and his face laughing and gradually these images will replace the ones of yesterday. So so sorry for your loss. Much love CM xxx

Oh Darling, so, so very sorry.

Life is too fucking unfair.

Rage at the sky a bit my love, it will help. Then take a single, tiny step forward, just one. We're all here for you

Praying for you and the DC
xxxxx

Another who had to check the date on this thread.
Trinity I'm so so sorry, don't know what else to say.

im so sorry for your loss, he sounded like a wonderful man x

My god, Trinity, how terrible. I am so sorry.

Sorry to hear this tragic news :(

Trinity - life has been unspeakably cruel to you. I am so very sorry. Xx

Trinity I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. No-one should have to bear the unspeakable shittiness of everything you've been through in the past few years. We are all here to hold your hand.

To keep your head and be able to do the chest compressions was a really great thing and you gave him the best possible chance. You should give yourself huge credit for that - a lot of people wouldn't have known what to do. You did everything you could.

Cuddle your children lots, and push your GP hard for family bereavement counselling on Monday. In the meantime be specific about the help you need (meal cooking, someone to stay with the littlies on Monday while you deal with things etc) when people offer.

oh no i checked date to am so sorry life is so fucking cruel

Trinity, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm mainly a lurker but remember your backstory. I remember being so delighted for you when you met DP. I'm devasted that this has now happened - but also glad for the happiness that you had with him (hope that makes sense). Be kind to yourself

I, too, had to check the date on this thread. So very sorry Trinity. You've had an unreasonable amount to bear over the last few years. It just reinforces how randomly cruel life is.

I'm so so sorry for another loss. Tiny, baby steps. You can do this. You know you can.

Very much love and lots of handholding. XXX

Shit Trinity
I'm so very sorry.
Take it one day at a time for now
Lots of love xx

I thought this was an old post when I saw it was you . I'm so sorry

So so sorry Trinity x

I'm so sorry Trin xx

No words of wisdom here.
I'm so shocked and upset for you.
Do let us know if there is anything we can do for you or your family xx

so sorry to read this, another one here who double checked the date, cant believe this has happened to you all again, you are all in my thoughts

I'm so, so sorry to read this. Thoughts with you xxxx

Another one who had to check the date. So, so sorry for your loss and that you're having to go through this again.